A guide to making friends.

I hope this helps someone out there. Friendships are something that I think about a lot, I have a lot of thoughts n' feelings to share, and I want to hear your thoughts and feelings too!

In this video I talk about the complexities of friendships, why you might be struggling to make friends and what actions you can take to start creating more friendships in your life.

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[nophima]

I think a lot of us 'hold back' in a way because we don't want to be annoying. And if both people think that way it's very unlikely that a friendship will form.

[sowsoup]

It's sad that I now have how to make friends in my search history.

[temperancetalley]

For me, I find the hardest part in making friends is putting yourself out there. It feels so vulnerable to be like, "Hey, I like you. You're cool. Let's be friends and coffee, maybe?" And then put the ball in their court and they have to decide if they like you too. And we are so self-centered beings sometimes that I start thinking, "They should ask ME out to coffee." And that never ends well.

[TheEmzies]

I recently had a "break up" with a friend and honestly it felt worse than a romantic relationship breakup. It makes me sad that a friendship I valued wasn't seen the same by the other person.😥

[Krystalwatchesvideos]

I'm so sick of one-sided friendships. I'm always the person calling, texting, scheduling plans. Pretty sure if I stopped reaching out, I wouldn't hear from any of the so-called 'friends' in my life. I deserve better. I deserve friends who will actually reach out to ME.

[thesocialintrovertchronicles]

This video is God Sent. I am currently struggling to make friends. And not just friends, I mean real, loyal, loving and caring, honest friends.
I feel so alone and could really use a trustworthy reliable real friends.

[alessia]

My advice is: GO WHERE YOUR PEOPLE ARE!

In high school I had very few friends, I felt very anxious putting myself out there, afraid of judgment, etc.
That was because I felt everyone was different than me, we didn't share interests and goals and passions, and I really wasn't even interested in forming a friendship with them.

Now that I go to University, to study what is my biggest passion, I can put myself out there in the span of three days because I'm not afraid anymore and because I actually like a lot the people who are there!!! I love talking to them and hearing what they have to say, we just vibe. And of course, we all have in common our biggest passion!!! And a shared mindset.

If you love art, go take an art course. If you love photography go take a photography course. If you love sewing, go take a sewing course. If you are an athletic person try to meet people at your gym. If you love rock-climbing go to a wall-climbing gym and try to make friends there. Etcetera.

Making friends if you go to a club or a pub or whatever is far more difficult, as you'll find people of many different kinds, most of them will share no interest or passion with you. You have to restrict the circle and go to places where you already know you have at least one thing in common.
Just go where your people are.

[muchelleb]

A thought I didn't mention: Just because you don't have a big friend group - doesn't mean that there's anything wrong or invalid about your friendships! One on one friends are amazing and a small handful of friends is just as valid as a group of 20 people and having only 5 or so people within that 20 that you're really close with. Also - quality matters far more than quantity (as in - according to studies, it's much more impactful of your wellbeing to have a handful of quality friends than a bunch of so so / conflict filled / etc friends). I appreciate you xoxo

[gemmajackson]

this is seriously just what i needed right now, two of my best friends are moving away

[AllThingsAlexa]

I have always struggled to make friends. A few years ago I found I was the one always trying and going to these “friends” events and no one came to mine. So I let those few go. When I moved almost 2 years ago I decided I was going to put effort in to get out and meet people. But didn’t really work. Now I’m just at peace with myself and my family.

[MrLyfe]

I feel I struggle to make friends because I'm quite shy and introverted. Also quite selective with the people I choose to be friends with.. big/loud personality types tend to put me right off

[pamcas]

I need this :( i used to have many friends but now at my small college i do NOT fit in and i have no friends, only some acquaintances that i dont even like that much. Just the existence of this video in itself makes me happy and helps me feel less weird

[adriannapierzycka]

Also, don't be afraid to reconnect with old friends! If you think it's too late and they don't care about you, chances are, they are thinking that too and it's the only thing stopping you both from reaching out. One text is all it takes for you to see if you can rekindle your old friendship.

[KellieSuePeters]

I’ve always made friends easily, and I’m in agreement that I treat everyone like a friend until they give me good reasons not to. I love my friends and they’re the most important parts of my life. It is more difficult during pregnancies and babies and all the chaos that comes with mommies. But if you stick it out, you get to be an honorary auntie and godmother. And it is fun seeing your besties’ babies turn into mini versions of my BFFs.

[zenyrosalina]

I have to say that I haven’t had much difficulties making friends as an adult. I think I’m actually better at it now than I was as a teenager.

What really helped me was traveling alone (starting when I was 22) and staying in hostels where you’re almost forced to meet new people. The first time I was incredibly shy and thought you couldn’t just go up to people and start a conversation without coming of as a weirdo. But I quickly discovered that you actually can do that and form “temporary” friendships.

Because of these experiences that I kept pushing myself in I can now say that I’m quite confident approaching new people and most times (not always of course) it’s received in a positive way by the other person.

The past few years I’ve lived in a few different places because of circumstances and I always ended up making new friends that I got to hang out with.

If I hadn’t pushed myself, I would have still been the shy girl that doesn’t approach anyone. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still an introvert most of the time and I LOVE spending time just by myself, but it’s nice to also be able to be social when I want to.

[stephaniesmith]

I’m autistic and I’m pretty sure this plays a part in my discomfort with small talk which is inevitable if you want to meet new people.
I’m pretty decent at keeping friends but it’s just the damn small talk that I can’t get over. I’m good at it, but I think people can tell I’m not interested which puts them off, which is fair.

[vikyfisher]

Some really good tips -- even for those of us who are no longer in our 20s. I can attest that after you've raised your kids and they've left home, you can be in the same situation when starting your new empty nester life.

[charlotteborland]

Michelle, this is exactly the video I needed today. I moved to Sydney 18 months ago, by myself, and my mental health has been awful since. I have never felt this alone or depressed, and making friends here has been a huge struggle. I definitely worry about bothering people who already have established friendships and lives here by being 'needy'. This is my very measured kick in the butt to put myself out there more and stop making silly excuses ('my job is so social!') for not making the effort to make friends. Thank you!

[TrulyMyth]

I need this. All of my friends are gone now, whether it be from me leaving situations that hurt me, them misunderstanding my situation, etc. All of my friend group now consists of my boyfriend and that’s it. I’m thankful for this video.

[BohoBookworm]

I just met the man of my dreams. I feel so lucky. Everything I could have ever asked for and more. Never thought he existed but he did. Just took traveling the world and a global pandemic to bring us together! Ha! As for friends, it is SO tough as you get older especially when you travel and move around as much as I have. Thank you for this. Really needed it!