The Legend of Krod: The Orc Who Intimidated Wood

D&D Greentext Stories

#dnd #pathfinder #dndcomedy #comedy #dndmeme #ttrpg #dndtiktok

[kenzieduckmoo]

Krod choose surprise.
I love how he intimidated the wood into being a crows nest

[Daniel_]

A rogue Orc who only speaks in the third person intimidating wood into becoming a crows nest is peak comedy

[Nachtiu]

"Fancy pants tell Krod to choose weapon. Krod choose surprise!" is one of the best punchlines to a joke like that I've ever seen.

[goofyahhpirate]

The line "only two things see krod: dead things and things that know better than to admit it" goes hard as fuck

[calebfreeman]

Bet the party was like, he can talk normally?!

[knightofavalon]

Okay “Krod Enjoy working with hands in way that doesn’t require he put down tarp first” is an underrated golden goddamn line.

[polipemoplume]

Krod choose surprise, I definitely uses that trick when someone challenge to a duel in a dnd play

[DillonMeyer]

Krod is just a warhammer 40k Ork. He screams and the world changes to fit his desire.

[reddtec]

Okay, I’m not even a DND player but that opening intro about Krod makes me LOVE HIM. The thing about him not being dumb but faking it so nobody suspects him of running a crime ring is genius-level writing.

[rattle_me_bones]

"Krod choose surprise" is an excellent punchline, but as an actual personal anecdote is a stellar way of showcasing Krod's faked idiocy with something that, all humor eliminated, is genuinely pretty darn cunning.

Imagine Krod having all these weapons being presented to him and, in an act of letting the mask slip, lifts one of the swords, inspects it, brandishes it, and then decapitates "Fancy Pants" in one quick movement.

[erickchristensen]

We had a Dragonborn Barbarian in my friend group one time that botched a roll trying to cross a river.
When I had him try the next roll, he got a Nat 20 and described it as "A backstroke, but i'm pushing myself by punching the river because I'm Raging"
So he became known as *"Rognar the River Puncher"* A title he is very proud of to this day haha.

[dragongamer]

I love the idea of krod just yelling at a pile of wood become table and the wood in a panicked state becomes a mahogany dinner table

[Sphendrana]

Krod choosing surprise The best thing I've ever needed from an Orc Rogue. Thank you.

[heemjefee]

Bro I died at "Fancypants told Krod to choose weapon. Krod chose surprise."

[steviemaster]

i just pictured Krod looking at a forest, cracking his knuckles and a few seconds later a nice home big enough to fit his whole party appears.

Krod: "now Krod have big rest. Krod has dibs on master bedroom" then walks through the wall only to glare at it until it repairs itself

[pyrose]

angry carpenter, i want someone to use that skill for a whole campaign, you are in a pickle and need too build a defensive wall, you just look at the the wood and " You better start moving before i turn you into fire wood"

[jayive]

That GM is great. He doesn't take it too seriously, and lets his players' imagination and creativity shine.

[trenton]

Please say there’s a part 2 I need more Krod in my life

[eragonawesome]

"Krod choose surprise" would have me completely flattened with laughter for the next half hour, that would be a "lets regroup in a bit when we can breathe" moment

[turidrowned]

Krod has the Fabricate spell, but doesnt know it. He just knows if he focuses on material hard enough, it does what he wants.