Sister-in-Law wants ME to PAY for her Wedding but DOESN’T Want me Involved - Finance Reddit Podcast

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Story 1: If you are not involved and not respected they can pay for their own wedding and not take you for granted. Not a Jerk!

enchantedz
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The cams in the bedroom. I would have call the cops. It's that simple

joshuadavis
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In the second story, there are actually privacy laws regarding cameras in private residences. That mother in law likely broke the law by doing so without the consent of the op and the husband, and the excuse of “I was just worried” won’t hold up in court.

alchemistrin
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Story 4 fills me with rage. They blamed her! They blamed her!!!

JohnAlcott
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I don't understand why people want to hold weddings that is way out of their means. It's bad enough that some people take loans to have their dream weddings. But to be completely funded by a family member while that family member has no say in how the money is spent? That's jerk move right there.

Rich people remain rich because they use their money well. They know the best value for their money and do not waste things on stuff they can't afford to acquire. If it was me, I would say, "Nuh-uh. You want me to pay for everything, then I decide everything. You don't want me to decide, then I will only pay a quarter, you fork the rest of the money on your own."

aziris
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Story 1: OP is not a jerk, and she should stand her ground. People with a lot of money are often the ones who are taken advantage of.
Story 2: Not a jerk. OP, your mother-in-law is a nutjob who literally broke the law. Forget about banning her, call the cops on her.
Story 3: Not a jerk. It's a huge red flag when a guy needs things like mustaches or guns to feel masculine. I can imagine OPs sister puts her through a lot of similar crap.
Story 4: Not a jerk. It's on dad for walking out and refusing to have contact with his family instead of trying to maintain a healthy relationship with them.

alpha-sama
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For people still lingering, Story 4 has an update:
OP stopped feeling that they possibly should feel guilty due to the original post. Their dad repeatedly showed up from April to about August talking to her and her sister in a "baby talk voice", first visiting for her sister's bday and winning her and their mom over with gifts and words.
OP called him out on his blatant flakiness and being a coward who ran instead of fix things cause that takes actual effort...and he takes her sister and mom out for dinner in July. On her birthday. Without her. Saying she doesn't understand "Daddy loves her"
Mom and sis are still blaming OP now that he's silent again but now OP is confident they're in the right

anyaarcadia
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story 2 : BRUH i'm so angry, both at the mother AND the husband. dude value his mom intrusiveness more than his and his wife's privacy.
story 3 : "you disrespected someone older than you, you're wrong" respect is earned not owed. also if you need a moustache to prove your manhood, there is something wrong.

galahad
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12:20
So his immediate response to having his manhood insulted is to run to the bathroom and break down crying 😂

EmpressAaliyah
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Story #2 sounds like an over-bearing mother who has coddled her son his entire life, and the son has become such a beta momma's boy that he lacks the balls to defend his own wife.
If I were the wife, I would ditch the useless husband and the clueless mother-in-law.

MrMooCow
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Story 1... As much as I love my siblings, if I was treated like that I would pull my money out and tell the bride's family if they want to look perfect for their own family and friends, they should pay for it, if op's brother doesn't understand that and gets mad, he's as bad as them...

Story 3... I find hilarious when people try to humiliate others, it backfires and then they sulk. It gets worse when people are aware of the entire story and then turn against the person attacked first...

nilianstroy
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Story 1: just tell them, "If you don't want me to involve, then I won't pay for anything (any, but not all of it)." That's it. To her, they were the jerk first. Her money belongs to her only, and she had all the right to demand what she wants when they want to use her money for whatever they wanted to do.

binhanh
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If your mustache is a sign of your masculinity and a crack about it causes a breakdown. You are not actually masculine enough to rock a mustache.
I've been wearing a mustache for a long time you gotta deal with some flack from time to time

kiprandom
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Last story: the mother and sister need therapy, you dont cry for someone who abandoned you and you dont blame the people he abandoned for crying over him

grey
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The emotions and the way you read is what make me keep coming back keep it up

CasualIV
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1st story: If she's paying for EVERYTHING at the wedding she should be involved in the wedding as more than just the one who finances it.
2nd story: You do not have the right to spy on people in their own home.
3rd story: People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. If you can't stand people making fun of your body hair then don't make fun of their body hair.
4th story: If you don't remember someone you don't remember them. It's not an insult. That's just how it is.

MartinT
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I had a similar situation with my aunt about hair. In our last family meeting, my aunt, a woman who is known for having a volatile attitude, literally pointed at me and laught, saying how i was beggining to go bald. (i´m 40 and my father was bald, i´m really surprised my hair lasted that long) so i said "Well, that was not a nice thing to say. I mean, we all can see your mustache but nobody is saying anything about it, are we?"
Aaaand she exploted, as she always does and suddenly i´m supposed to apologise to her.

varto
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Second story is a no-brainer. Load injured husband into car, take him to his mom's house and drop him off. MIL can be caretaker, and OP can talk to a lawyer about what to do next.

k.s.k.
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Apologizing for the late reply in the premiere, I have notifications sent to all and so far watched 110 videos on the playlist so far.

decapitatorofficial
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First story: The Sister is not a jerk. Although there's a common rule, for me at least, is to simply do a good thing and don't expect anything of it. However in this situation, the sister is the victim and the sister-in-law as well as her family are the ones doing the wrong doing and they had her brother involve with it.

Story 2: That Mother-in-law has broken a law so great, i don't think she'll ever get to see her son again. Sure he's a concerned mother, But you don't have to go to such extreme lengths to put a camera in OP and her Husband's bedroom, without the forethought of breaching in privacy.

Third story: Oh my god, does this guy have a screw loose and his wife blaming the OP, her sister, to apologize to an older man, even though the older man should have a better mental stability. And why do he have to comment, when hair can grow on his legs as well. That doesn't make a lick of sense at all. Also, maybe everyone is a bit of a jerk, mostly the sister and the OP.

Last story: Not a Jerk. Rather it's the Father's fault for leaving the family and the family acting so irrationally. Remember, not many people can remember their memories the earlier you go down the line.

estaticethan