Creativity and Self-Sabotage

INFJ personality types and INFP personality types both tend to struggle with self-sabotage in the creative process. Self-sabotage is an energy that is always driven by fear. For INFJ personality types and INFP personality types, the fear is often that if we experience a creative success, we will then be held to that higher standard for ever after. When we inevitably fail to meet that standard again in the future, we fear that others will be disappointed in us, withdraw their love, and then abandon us.

INFJ personality types and INFP personality types also frequently have a fear of exposure. We fear that if we write our memoir and expose family secrets, or we write a fictional novel and the characters resemble people or situations in our real lives, then we will expose things that we shouldn’t and we will then experience a great amount of backlash from family and friends. Along with this comes a fear of judgement. Many INFJ personality types and INFP personality types are very afraid that someone will misinterpret our words or take offense at something we’ve written or said, and we will then be unfairly judged for that.

Lastly, INFJ personality types and INFP personality types have a fear of revealing our authentic self to the world. Many of us use the strategy of being a chameleon as a type of social crutch in our relationships. We become whatever the other person wants us to be, in order to accommodate their needs and preferences. We usually do this automatically, as a holdover survival strategy from a dysfunctional childhood.

All of these fears that lead to self-sabotage are linked to inner wounds, which is why self-sabotage is something to be healed, not conquered.

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[CC-fimc]

Fear of exposure. Coupled with thin boundaries, I'm afraid people will take my work and tear it apart, re-purposing it for their needs and I won't know how to protect it and keep it as "mine."

[nonlycricket]

INFP here. My husband is an INFJ. My son is an INFP. This could not be further from the truth for all of us. I so needed to hear this!!! Thank you! 🙏🏾

[Queen_Sylvia]

Yes! The success feels like it was a fluke and the pressure is on to try to make it happen again. Soooo much safer to play small, but also deeply dissatisfying. Great video, as always.

[aquariusstar]

I dont know if it is just fear of exposure or success. Maybe. Listening to this reminded me of the envy amd jealousy i dealt with from a classmate and my own mother bc of my talents. I think for me it goes back to the unfj tendency to care about how my success makes others feel, and the negative reactions and insecurities that come as a result--competitiveness, sabotage, etc. In other words--success doesn't feel SAFE. Every time i get "exposed" for some type of success (which is inconsistent and intermittent and often hard won) i can feel the vibes of the "haters." Ive even had folks i hired or collaborators to sabotage my efforts bc i believe they knew it was going to be successful. Even though we were sharing the spotlight, i giess bc i was doing most of the work, they pulled the plug or stole it from me.

[B_e_a_uuutiful]

You spoke straight to my heart and provided so much clarity to why I never commit to exploring my passions. I could never put my finger on it until this video. Thank you so so much! 🙏

[YAMISOOLD]

You really read me well Lauren! This question of why I self-sabotage is very much answered by what you have said in this video! It comes down to fear that love will be withdrawn and it will be replaced by rejection. I have to discover what my wounded child needs in order to heal and move forward!

[Diane_McDon]

I can remember at about age 12 thinking that Everyone ‘Chameleoned’ all the time like i did

[KatAdVictoriam]

Lauren - I found your Medium articles doing research into writing in a new genre. I get your newsletter and was thrilled you have this YT channel.
This video resonates. I had published a book and when I found formatting issues, I pulled the whole thing (which is the right thing to do) and when my laptop died before I could fix it, I gave up. I'm loathe to ever return to it now. Worse, I did tell people about my book and keep getting asked when it'll be back up on Amazon.
I get the fear of feeling of exposure/judgment.
I am an INTP. Do you do work with us types? I've read that INTPs make very poor fiction writers and should focus on Non-Fiction instead. I'd love to hear your thoughts, or opinions on INTP.
When I have the extra money, I look forward to joining one of your classes in the future! I appreciate the work you're doing.

[jansimpson]

Worst gathering - baby shower - with people I worked with and my therapist… 😮

[MBAinternetmktg]

Please provide a link to the new class.