things i wish i knew in my 20s (and 30s!!) – some radical life lessons

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In a couple of days, it will be my birthday again. And one thing I absolutely love about birthdays is that it sort of makes you ponder the whole concept of getting older, but also at the same time look back at just what you were thinking and who you were as a person one, five, or ten years ago. So I’ve been thinking about it, being in my thirties and my experience of this part of my life so far, and comparing it to how my twenties felt. Because you know, it’s almost universal, to feel like you're lost when you’re in your twenties and that you’re flailing trying to figure out who you are and what you want from life and just how to make those dreams for the future come true for you.

I talk about:
- failures
- mistakes
- going to university in sweden
- taking a gap year
- leaving your hometown
- finding yourself
- quarter life crisis
- nomadic life
- feeling left behind

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[JennyMustard]

It's finally available :)

Pre-order the paperback version of OKAY DAYS:

[Es_Tay]

I've recently come to the conclusion that I don't actually need to have a life goal, a career, or to reach miles stones. Society says I do, but where's the law that says that? I wasn't made for the hustle. I was made to dilly dally. I can get a sense of achievement just by doing. Making a little painting, going to see a band, waking up early to do yoga and drink green tea.
Everyone has always asked me what I want to do, what do I want to be. But I just don't know. I didn't know when I was first asked at 6 years old, I didn't know when I was picking my first elective classes at 13, when I was having meetings with the careers advisor at 15 or when I was graduating at 17. I didn't know at 20 or 25, and I still don't know at 31. I'm actually dead tired of the question.
I've decided that it's actually okay for me to do what I've always done, stumble my way through life making it up as I go along with no real direction or clear goals. Because it's actually so stressful to me to be constantly hastled about who I am and what I'm doing.
I'd rather just daydream my way through, read a book, walk along the beach, lay in the sun with my cat in the winter.
I'll never be rich or famous or important, and I don't need to be.
My idea of a "successful" life is to just live it.

[jillbeans]

I absolutely loved the 'first pancake' analogy.
😂👍❤

[ose]

This video came at a perfect time. Thank you! I'm 25 & feeling so lost. I love what you said about "being behind is better than being ahead on the wrong path". I've always felt behind in some way and even after leaving my "hometown" and high school/ university friends, seeing their lives on social media gives the same feeling you described. People are getting married, having businesses etc... I do feel reassured that things would workout somehow. Happy Birthday!!!

[differentbeat]

A tiny note for all Europeans here: check out the European Solidarity Corps - I spent a whole year working, partying, camping and being lost in Finland and I would almost be so bold to call it the best life decision I made so far!

[titimarquesortega]

I completely agree with leaving home in your 20’s. I moved from Spain to the Netherlands from 21 to 25 and were the most formative years of my life. No doubt!

[Gre_tel]

a 23 year old here! for me, I had the feeling that everyone else my age (friends or former school "colleagues") where going abroad
as soon as there got the chance or the money for it. So I had this pressure feeling to must leave my lovely home town because "that's what you do that age"
At 18 I worked at a little circus and travelled my home country for two months, but now I am in the work life back home for several years, and I really enjoy it! I would really love to visit another country for study when my apprentice time comes, but It is also ok to stay in your town, if you love it!

[isabelamartins]

Jenny has the power to always say what I need to hear! I’m 25 and last year I decided to change my career path completely, after two whole years of rethinking everything I've ever wanted to do in life. Now I'm studying at home, trying to go back to university again, so I can become a doctor. Here in Brazil, to do that I need to pass a super hard test. I've never felt so behind in my entire life! All my friends are growing in their careers, wining awards, marrying and buying apartments 😅 But this video was a good reminder that I don't need to be where they are. And I really don't want to! Thanks, Jenny! 💜

[gloriamqu]

I could not agree more with the content of this video. Here I am, having quit a high-paying job for a barista role, in London, as I focus on building my new life out. This gives me hope 🥲 Happy birthday Jenny! 🤍

[seltzermint]

I always get such a good feeling from people in Europe etc as it sounds so much like my path, I didn't get cozy in my career until late 30s and my second marriage at 36 has been amazing. In my part of the US everyone's quite settled mid 20s especially back then (early 00s), kids and owning homes. I was doing creative things and flailing in my 20s and do not regret that one bit!

[brontec]

I love this flailing 20s concept. LOVE IT. Being lost and bohemian is wonderful and I recommend every young person to do it! FAILURE is the best kind of remedy for everything because everything gets better after you fail. The most successful people failed over and over again.

I've just entered my 40s and I thought I had made it and was in a stable place in my life....then I realized that I wasn't and I was playing a role that isn't for me and everything can fall apart very quickly. Now I'm in the midst of change and it is scary as hell but I know that on the other side of this flailing and failing and changing direction, goodness will come and the universe will open up to to give me new opportunities, chances for connection and show a different path. Life isn't a fixed journey and acceptance is one of the greatest qualities we can have. Of course we also need to make those decisions to drive any change. Happy Birthday!

[kaltespopcorn]

Reading this comment section has been so wholesome and inspiring! Thanks Jenny and you guys for sharing ❤

[Makiita]

Thank u ! Your video make me feel so much better i just turn 30 and i feel so like a failure! But now u give me a new perspective and a relief for my heart ❤️ thank uuu

[indrazneste]

I’ve read your book last month and I loved it, I gave it 5 stars on GoodReads. You have a way with words and reading the book was very pleasant. Also helped that I am fascinated with London, even if I dont live there but always like to visit. Greetings from Dublin 🙃

[shilpa]

Mandatory gap year I love that ❤ if I could go back in time I would really do it ☺️

[nayacerola]

Happy birthday 🎉 and thanks for this video, I’m almost 35 and I have been feeling lost 😢this video made me feel better

[TheMennomilist]

Now that I am 40, I would have a few things to tell my 20-year-old self, but for the most part, I think I did pretty well! I made some good choices in my life. I enjoyed what you wish you knew. Hopefully it will help people who are younger make good choices for their lives. I hope you have a very good birthday!

[gracens]

Enjoyed this video! Hope you had a wonderful birthday 🎂 🌟✨

[caporalemamandine]

I would have love to take a gap year after high school sadly I think if your family is not supportive you can’t do it. I say that because I know my parents wouldn’t have let me do that, they also tried to make me change my degree in fashion to something more “safe” but for this one I held tight and I’m glad to say I’m an embroiderer and love it every day. I’m in my early thirties and sometimes I do feel behind but when I think about those friends who seems to have it all I won’t ever change my life for their. I have I stable job, I can provide for myself and go on holiday freely with friends or alone, I’m happy and great full for that 😊
Love your dress by the way 😍😍🤍

[roniarasheed]

I love all your videos Jenny! You're the only person who I still follow on YouTube and look forward to your posts. I'm on round no.2 of reading Okay Days... Happiest Birthday! 🎂