6 Effective Communication Tips With Avoidant Partners

//6 Effective Communication Tips With Avoidant Partners// If you are wondering how to inspire avoidant partners to adopt more effective communication skills, this video is for you.

For partners that have anxious attachment, secure attachment, or fearful-avoidant attachment, their dismissive avoidant partners can often leave them feeling frustrated, by responding to bids for emotional intimacy with stonewalling and frequent communication fails.

This is often because these sensitive souls struggle to remain present with difficult conversations, which is characteristic of dismissive avoidant attachment.

But not to worry, there is hope!

By improving your communication in relationships, you can also inspire your partner to adopt effective communication skills as well, by modeling your new and improved communication skills at work.

Focusing on verbal communication, in this video, I share 6 effective communication tips that will help you get better results fast, without having to convince or strong-arm your emotionally unavailable partner into caring.

If you stick with me until the end, you will feel empowered, motivated, and relieved to know that there are strategies you can use to improve your communication with your avoidant partner.

I also invite you to take the communication quiz in the caption of this video, which will help you maximize your results, if you decide you’re ready to put these steps in to action!

Do you find these tips helpful? What are your experiences related to this topic?

Leave me a comment and let me know!

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction
02:49 Communication Difficulties
05:25 Tip #1: Be Present
06:48 Tip #2: Active Listening
07:58 Tip #3: Empathy vs Sympathy
09:39 Tip #4: Be Understanding
10:48 Tip #5: Boundaries
13:24 Tip #6: Radical Acceptance
16:38 Final Thoughts
20:47 Live Q&A
21:08 Why do we have to make the effort when avoidant partners don't?
24:58 How to calm the feelings of panic with emotional conversations?
28:22 No contact with my dismissive partner for 20 days.
29:04 Where have all the healthy partners gone?

#dismissiveavoidantattachment, #avoidantpartners, #communicationinrelationships #brianamacwilliam

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OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT…

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[brianamacwilliam.attachment]

Have you tried these tips before, and how did it go? Or if you are avoidant, how would you respond to this approach? Let me know in the comments below!

[dbdz]

Not to be "holier than thou" but the painful thing is that we the anxious are willing to make an effort and even hear harsh things said to us but the avoidants could care less because by default the anxious open heart is the villain because we are being looked at with the lens of heir past experiences. We do our best such as seeking out information such as that found in this video, not even knowing whether the avoidant will see it or appreciate it and most likely we will never know, cos of the type of people that avoidants are.

[healthiswealth]

I believe that I’ve learned and become a secure attachment style person over the years and have been on & off for 20 years with my avoidant attachment styled person. I’m just now realizing why this is due to these videos in the past 24 hours and getting angrier as the minutes go by listening to people consistently suggest to lean more into them and their needs. Well, who the f^ck is then going to acknowledge and tend to our needs? Why stoop this low? To abandon the love you need to fulfill another person who has no intentions of fulfilling yours? Who doesn’t want you to get your needs else where Then demoting myself to keep this low effort person in my life? What benefit is there? A warm body that makes all your responses a personal attack?

I can do better by myself.

[lisadaluz]

Severe dismissive avoidant people don’t know how to communicate. They don’t even want to really talk about the elephant in the room ever ever ever. That’s the problem. It’s overly exhausting to even try and when you’ve tried for nine years, it’s called compassion, fatigue. It gets old.

[mountainman]

"How to chase someone who doesn't want to commit to you more effectively"... Just walk away, it's not worth the hassle and she'll leave the moment you slip up anyway.

[Greenwitch_Garden]

This was enlightening. Omg I make so many assumptions and run circles in my own head. Communication is key.

[Neihlos]

The issue is that ultimately the avoidant can always fallback to their trump card of shutting down and ghosting. They usually do

[sairaphilip]

Can't see any of the tips working in the long term unless the avoidant partner can clearly see their avoidance is a barrier in creating connection and are committed to healing their attachment style.
You have zero room for error with your choice of words with these folks. Zero room to have a human moment where you yourself may be dealing with multiple stressors like work, family, health issues etc. Your struggles are interpreted as weakness and are judged or dismissed secretly if not openly.

[HannehYA]

I do have some avoidant traits and the thing about empathy vs. sympathy is just spot on! I actually has said this to people countless of times: please don't respond to my feelings and struggles with sympathy, I don't want that - please respond to it with empathy.

[thelookanchannel]

I feel I've been a defensive avoidant person for a while and I want to fix these issues within me for my relationship and its struggles currently. I don't want to cause bad energy anymore within this.

[chantalvtb]

Its a trauma THEY need to solve. Its undo able when they dont even see their own behaviour.

[blueaqua]

I've tried all of these tips, even before coming to discover attachment style work. They did not work for me. The tip for setting aside time to discuss things was particularly painful as he avoided having the 5 minute conversation during the time he decided on, and this was even after I did what he said would be helpful in creating a comfortable environment for him to discuss the issue in. As far as consequences, not sure how that's even possible. Removing your presence, time, energy, etc is what they want.

[LuisaQuinn-ulbv]

Point #6: It's often the most difficult hurdle, when they're so avoidant, that they always find or invent some excuse to perpetuate their staying in that apparently safety-bubble.

[DellaDykeborn]

Interesting. I prefer compassion to empathy. I prefer a person not assume they know how I feel. I'm dx ASD/ADHD/PTSD and have an open heart attachment style.

When people share their empathy, it seems like they make my pain anout them. I prefer to hear, "wow, I can only imagine what that's like for you. It sounds awful. I'm here for you."

Thanks for insight into what the rolling stone and spice of life people in my life need.

[vanessacarlos]

I have the impression that to make such a relationship function, the partner of the avoidant has to do all the work.

[amandamartinez]

For tip #5- what do consequences for not following thru on their agreement to have an emotional discussion look like? ❤❤❤ Thank you 🙏🙏🙏

[gardeniabee]

I think your video is great. I am a changed, improved dismissive avoidant, and I have, or had, a good friend with whom I have experienced increased avoidance the "closer" we have grown. Unfortunately, I have been so wounded and lost trust over broken commitments, that I have decided to discontinue the friendship. I have compromised my boundaries, and feel I have lost myself. So, I parted kindly. Thanks for sharing your knowledge.

[garagepros]

Wow Wow Wow, ... you have called us out to the T. I'm completely blown away. We've both tried tot get away, but it doesn't seem to work. Thank you.

[newwoman]

So basically treat him like a toddler? I’ll pass. Too much calculation. It’s not going to work.

[beccaaustin]

Excellent video thank you so much. One thing I really struggle with is expressing my needs with my avoidant partner. It always seems to comes across as me complaining about him even when I am really trying to delicately select my words. I would love a video on this topic !