Why You Must Push Your Ex Away If You Want Them Back

When you've been dumped, your first instinct is to try to get your ex back. As with most things in dating, that instinct is the complete opposite of what you need to do.

In this video dating/relationship expert Lucia explains why the best way to get your ex back is to push them away.

Lucia is an internationally known dating/relationship expert, author of "Lucia's Lessons of Love", former host of "The Art of Love" TV and radio shows, a syndicated columnist and keynote speaker.

She has over 100 major national and international TV and radio credits including Dr. Phil, The Tyra Banks Show, E! Entertainment, 60 Minutes Australia, The CBS Early Show, ABC 7 News, Good Day L.A and the KTLA News.

Lucia has been interviewed by numerous publications including Details, Business Week, Allure, Elle and media from Italy, France, Germany, Canada, Japan, the UK, Australia, Azerbaijan, Chile and Denmark.

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[roser]

100% true!! My ex dumped me back in 2021 and now he won’t stop texting and showing up in public place where I am. Now I don’t even want him back lol 😂 let him enjoy the loss for life.

[joesottilare]

Go out on dates..meet someone new and fresh ..who has super high interest level for you...you will quickly realize how little your ex actually was giving and doing for you..then no contact is so easy to keep...get next to someone else who treats you well.
Your ex ..can live with there decision.
And be someone else's problem..

[ReadbyWisteria]

If you think your ex will never come back. Listen to this. Mines came back after over a YEAR of no contact. Not even a like, follow, text, call NOTHING. And he came back. But, he breadcrumbed me for almost a year because I didn’t listen to Lucia. I listened to Coach Lee and Craig Kenneth! It didn’t work out for me.

My ex still calls and texts, but I ignore it. And now he calls and texts more often. Still ignoring until he says something significant. I know he will.

I also like how Lucia uses affirmations and meditations. The Law of Assumption is REAL.

[katepopovic]

I am way over my ex. But what I have used to keep myself busy while in NC is regular therapy, working out as usual, I put my teeth braces, I was looking for a better job, I found a better job, I started a side job (well it's still not going well, but I am not giving up 😊), I have a job where I am constantly in some workshops and new skills trainings. I have cut off all toxic relationships, I have defined my boundaries better with all people and family. So, it is like tiding up a house. You start and then you are making sure you have covered the entire area, and you go about and check corners and underneath the bed and closets etc 😅 Then after 2 years you realize you have a lot of people wanting to be with you, your self-worth and confidence have encreased organically and your ex seems like a part of some distant past life. No hate, no bad feelings for them. You just feel peace leaving them where they put themselves in - your past. Wish everyone peace and happiness. ❤

[danieljacobs]

397 days of no contact, at this point I’ve lost all feelings n won’t even take her back if she begged with 6 million dollars.

[teresahunt]

I told my ex no more sex until we have a commitment. He lasted 3 weeks without speaking before he showed up and said he can live without sex but not without me.

[lyphan]

My ex’s behavior before he dumped me was disgusting, I made it clear that he was toxic and that I’m fine without him lol. I don’t care if he comes back or not. I don’t need anyone that doesn’t need me. He has a lot of growing up to do and needs to learn how to communicate without giving the silent treatment. I’m not chasing him, he wasn’t the prize, I was. His loss

[crystalclimenhage]

Im keeping myself busy by listening to your videos, being anxious, etc

[BruceJC]

Everyone is playing a game and everyone is losing.

[romantico]

Almost 8 month now. It's hurts so bad. I can't handle it. I want to break no contract but i will not

[missdumpeehall-lrbc]

hi Lucia, Just curious, which one would give your ex more anxiety? You don't read their messages, so they know you haven't seen it at all or you made them aware that you read their messages but you just chose to ignore it.

[__Little__Sarah]

I’m day 15 of NC. Two days ago he started interacting with my social media “liking” posts. Particularly one about having an extra ticket to an upcoming event. Some days are really hard staying NC. He’s an avoidant so I worry that his breadcrumbing is the best I’m going to get as far as him opening the line of communication.

[shonakhali]

Wow, I’m happy I saw this because I was just about to text the ex back after he called, didn’t leave a message, after which he texted a breadcrumb message “I was thinking of you and hope all is well” on day 38. It’s now day 47 and I have not responded and now, I won’t respond! Since the break up, I’ve been journaling my feelings, writing a book, working, hanging out with my best friends, and enjoying uninterrupted “me time” since I’m out of the dating matrix. Thanks Lucia for that timely catch🙏.

[rcfoley]

First and foremost, for me, I'm healthy again. Almost two years ago I fell and a minor, nothing little scratch turned into a life event. But I made it. I have never been happier. I helped build a local military museum here in town. I build a lot of displays. I'm at the point of getting back to the gym. I was an athlete when I was younger. Parachutist, Master SCUBA diver. Thinking about actually learning Algebra at the Community College after the New Year. I'm the best that I have been in years.

[chitthae]

Hi Lucia
I’m nc of days 50
But around days 40
I’m wrongly sent him thumbs up
Can u suggest me that
Do i need to count again ?
But my ex dumper is now on stage 7
Curiosity
Can u tell me what going on
Plus he sent me a cake on my bd 29 th march
And gift card
But tell me nth
So i keep staying nc till now
And he still posting our memories moments on fb
But I don’t post nth about us

[iamscott-op]

hello lucia, does it always about interest level? How about situations where you have to break up your bf or gf bec he or she is married?

Is NC still effective in this case?

[themorningstar]

You're the standard coach Lucia😘😘😘

[shanekehoe]

I have a question that may be stupid but I’ve been dating my partner (maybe ex?) for a little over a year. We have an apartment together and have had a beautiful relationship and she really brings out the best of me both individually and as a partner. We were doing great and talking about our future and have an apartment together and things were very happy just two weeks ago. Then we got bad news from the woman who raised her’s hospice nurse that she only has a couple weeks to live. She’s pulled back from me since and I can tell she’s got a lot going on in her head so I decided I wouldn’t take it personally and keep supporting her and picking up the slack at home while also giving her space to work through her grief.

5 days ago I took her to lunch after her girlfriends bailed on their lunch date and we were having a nice time given the circumstances but in the way home she snapped at me. Still not trying to take it personal I went out to our balcony when we got back
Home to let us cool down as the last thing I want to do is cause her extra stress on this tough time. She came out on the balcony and says that she can’t give me what I deserve/need right now and she needs to be alone and not have me living there. I told her I’d respect her space but acknowledged that I’d be here for her still and also thought that she was reacting quickly due to her current sad situation.

I grabbed some of my stuff and left and we haven’t spoken since. She still shares her location with me and stuff but I’m not sure where we stand?

Should I keep applying the no contact rule even though she’s going through this tough time? I don’t want her to feel abandoned or alone in this tough time even though she did push me away.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated thank you!

[janalleman]

Hi, i broke up with my ex but regretted it, i tried to get her back but she said she needed time to think about it for a day or two, she then ignored me for a week so i said to her we should have no contact for a while, we are now in no contact for like a month but i still want her back. What should i do?

[karlwesneski]

Lucia — the Silenzio app should have an option to input when your ex breaks no contact with you, no?
My ex broke no contact but with insignificant texts so I never responded. So the days are still counting since before then..