Love-bombing, devaluation, discard cycle | Narcissist pattern

[markelliott]

Joe, it is as you described. Warped dimensions, confusing narratives and ultimately pain. The worst pain you will ever endure. But, you can grow from this. It takes time.

[cajuncrackerranch]

Beautiful, Joe! Well crafted, articulated, and as sharp as the blade of truth. 🗡 🙏❤️‍🩹

[shirleydaniels]

I always told him losing my mom at nine made me stronger than I can believe I can live without anyone

[GaryRSpicer]

They contradict themselves. They don't even understand their own actions and somehow they believe their words as to be full of truth. But their behaviors show exactly who they are. They often end up intimidated by us....I clearly see through it and do my best to be happy on my end. But that hoover where they express little bit of love lures me back in just a little and then I'm back to having to remind myself that it's just a game and I have to choose to not play with whatever rules they have hidden from me.

[jacksaintjack]

I was in an online relationship and this is EXACTLY how it all went. Fortunately for me, I had done my research while I was being devalued (most stressful thing I have ever been through. Damaged my mind. Damaged my heart. Damaged my finances. ) So I beat her to the punch. Sent her a letter listing the 3 phases and that I knew she was going to discard me, but I told her she wouldn't be able to because I discarded her at the end of the letter. I escaped with my sanity and the knowledge that I deprived her of the thrill of discarding me.

[redsquirrel]

The narcissist knows at the outset that it is not going to last. In effect, they hire you in order to ultimately fire you.

[DebbieLatimer-xhrq]

Blowing my mind reading this... describes what my relationship is with a man I have come to love who seems to both crave and disrespect me simultaneously. He can't handle kissing (too intimate?) but wants me to "go down" (?!!) as if that's a normal starting point; I'm guessing it's a " kissing once-removed" all the intimacy he can handle. Talks about his sexual needs, bizarrely ignoring any I might have... oh, says he'd like to have other women there too ( in bed) who would pleasure each other (!!!???) Talk about totally trashing an otherwise spiritually perfect interaction between two people. So sad, I can sense he is broken and my heart is there for him. It is a platonic relationship and will stay that way. I thought my compassion and empathy might reach him and save him, but I meanwhile am subjected to very disparaging comments which I initially found both funny but interesting, but are now starting to seep through my psyche, and I am starting to experience self-doubt. I recognize gaslighting, fortunately, so I self-talk myself back to reality later on. I feel a bit like I'm playing with fire, though, cause I am very strong but I'm also very sexually attracted to him, and his intermittant kindness and desire for me are very disarming!! I think after listening to you, and thank you from the bottom of my heart, that I will lessen my interactions with him with BS but believable excuses of being busy. I will care about him from a distance, but I will not allow him to "trash" me.
I will pray for his healing, though, and I will always care about him.
P.s. I'm left wondering if he isn't a high functioning autistic... our communication is very rarely direct, seems pained and fleeting somehow.

[lindagodwin]

All true! What I didn't understand back then, I do understand now!

[socalfriend]

Mine liked to create a trauma bond followed by ghosting and breadcrumbing. After gaslighting and future faking, he discarded me. After a hoover the cycle started again until i blocked him. Now i just grey rock if i see him. Living my best life now! Thank you for your help! 🌴🙏😊

[chrisw]

Superb summary of how it all goes down. Sad but true.

[sheilamurry]

They all have the same intentions to destroy

[shirleydaniels]

He tried it never worked I am the beauty he was a beast yet I intimidated him

[markh]

After the discard and recovery from major surgery I turned to what I know. I love to turn wood on my lathe and produce artistic pieces. The narc chick in my life used to at least give me a like. She was going through major surgery herself. During the series of 4 surgeries she managed to cause an internal injury for being dumb and reckless. I told her to calm down and let herself heal, she got angry at me for that and cut me off on social media. Don't tell me what to do even if you are trying to save my life, seems to be her attitude. I cut her off and have gone no contact but she has two flying monkeys who come to our recovery meetings, I don't care because I give them very little information other than my wood work.

[susanmcmahon]

EXACTLY WHAT HE DID. after 28yrs of marriage.