What Does Being Aromantic Feel Like & How Did I Know?

What being aromantic feels like for me and how I realized I don't experience romantic attraction.

.....

Your likes, comments, and subscriptions are so very appreciated! 😊

[belindapineda]

How do you tell your parents who want you to have a boyfriend who want you to date and have kids and get married, how do you tell them that you are ace/aro? I am at a young age and im scared to tell them because i will feel dissapointing.

[BlakeLopez-eloc]

I am Bisexual Aromantic but it's seriously confusing for me.I like the idea of romance as long as it's not me, it makes me feel trapped when someone likes me.

[kirbybie]

I totally relating with like "liking the idea and fantasizing about the possibility" but having no actual interest in it- even though it just sounds like someone whos afraid of romantic rejection which makes it hard to explain to ppl.

[tomsagamesisbackagain.]

It isnt always Adam and Eve.
Sometimes it's just Adam.

[anormalfangirl]

Im fine watching romance, looking at couples being cute and sweet. My heart melt when i see them. But whenever i tried to imagine myself in romantic relationship, i cant help but cringe. It felt so awkward. Im not sure why. Is it just a 'phase' or something else? Come to think of it, its been a while since i had a crush

[ermanyk]

damn. you really pulled it all together. i always fantasized about the idea of a relationship but when i am in one, it’s absolute hell. i feel trapped when i’m dating someone but when i’m single i feel free.

[supporter]

My whole life I was like “I wanna be friends with them so bad! I wanna befriend them!”. The idea of a close friend was so intense for me contrary to a romantic partner. I would spend hours fantasizing about platonic dynamics I was so afraid that it’s abnormal. Maybe I just crave for a real friendship, but this was consistent since my peers started talking about dating when I was 12 or something. I’m now 16.

[ScoobyDoobyDnt]

I'm an Aromantic and I absolutely hate it. I really wish I could feel romantic love for another, it makes me so sad tbh

[dark_attribute]

I really admire aromantic people. Like wow. I can't relate, being a kind of hopeless romantic, but damn. I can only imagine how difficult it must be, since our society seems to be obsessed with romance. Kudos to every single one of you. I'm proud of you. 👏👏👏

[rileuh]

literally every boyfriend or girlfriend i’ve ever had i’ve felt like “oh i like you, but don’t really want to be in a relationship??” which was so confusing growing up because i always had to break up with someone after putting so much commitment into the relationship. thank you for explaining this and helping other people to understand who they really are !

[LaurenAmici]

I identify a lot with the things you say in the video. Deep down I know I am aromantic asexual, but I strongly refuse to accept it because I wish I weren't. I feel like my life would be so much easier and I could experience having nice romantic relationships with such nice people if only I felt romantic attraction. It's terrible to live in denial with my own identity :/

[pearlescen]

Edgy 14 year olds: ugh, I wish I could feel... *love*
Me, an aromantic asexual: hmmm

[paull.rogers]

Hi. I am aromantic and asexual. I have never been "in love" with anyone. I don't feel any attraction beyond friendship. I have had two intense friendships with women but it was certainly not love. I never thought of them that way. And I am more than sure that they too have never thought of me being more than just a friend. I felt pressure to be with someone for years. With a serious religious background I heard so many people tell me that "God has a wife for you". Well I am convinced that he or she does not because if they did then I would not be aromantic and asexual.

[CECItheMATOS]

OH MY GOD I AM AROMANTIC
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
WHAT DO I DO

[amesjames]

After watching this video, I'm pretty sure I'm aromantic? I know I'm asexual, but I always clinged to the idea that I felt at least some kind of romantic attraction. I think that I knew deep down though that I'm also aromantic, because for one, I could not figure out for the life of me whether I was straight, gay, bi, whatever because I feel the same way about everyone, and by the same way, I mean I feel nothing thats anything different from platonic attraction. For a long time I've been denying the fact I was aromantic because I love the idea of a romantic relationship, I thought that it must be great to be in such a caring, special relationship, and I thought I wanted that. But now, after watching this, I realise that what I'm feeling is a result of, as you said, amatonormativity in society.

I think I've finally come to terms with my aromanticism, and I want to thank you for that, because it means I can finally accept myself and stop trying to search for something that, in reality, I don't really want. So, yeah, thank you xx

[MrNihil_]

I have no idea of what proper "romantic attraction" is. I've been trying to understand it and sometimes also tried to convince myself that I was feeling it, but I really didn't. I had no idea that a term like "aromantic" even existed. Glad I'm not alone XD Nice video btw

[ticklemeimemo]

I would rather be aromantic rather than what I am which is lithromantic, which is where you like the idea of love and want someone but as soon as they show that kind of affection you get turned off and don't wanna be in a relationship.. its very confusing cause I want a relationship but as soon as I get in one I break it off..

[jay-tjvc]

I was bi until I felt weird anytime someone liked me. I thought something was wrong with me. until I saw a few videos of people being asexual and aromantic. I am aromantic. I felt really weird and awkward when someone would want to date me. I would say yes because I told myself " I should try to date" but I said no at the same time because I wasn't comfortable with it. I kept fighting with myself. But I am really relieved that I know my sexually now. I am so happy I can relate to people. thank you so much <33

[emilyanncahill]

To anyone who needs to hear this, including myself because damn I really need to hear this:
You've still got time to figure it all out, although I understand the feeling of wanting to just decode everything and stop worrying so much about it. I'm 21. My friends are getting married and having kids and dating. I still don't have it all figured out by any means. I avoid going out with people, but occasionally, I'll think I'm weak or caving to my anxiety by avoiding it, and decide to go out. but it doesn't feel right and it feels like I'm using them because we're not looking for the same things, so I avoid it for another few years. I'm an asexual disaster in all senses of the word. So you've got time.
I think i's hard to explain being asexual since people who aren't asexual or aromantic have a hard time wrapping their head around the concept that companionship and relationships can exist without romance or sex. Hell, it's something I have to try and remind myself all the time. Love happens without these things. We love our family and friends. We want to spend the rest of our lives with them in our company. I think it's similar for partners. We don't choose to be with them just because of romance and sex (although for some people that's very important, which I understand) we choose to stay with them because we get emotionally connected, bonded, and intimate with them and the relationship we have with them adds depth to our life.
Regarding parents, I feel like most parents are afraid or in denial about Asexuality because they're afraid their child will be alone forever, which immediately equals being unhappy to society, which isn't true. You can be complete and happy without another person. Or, they think they'll never have grandkids. Regarding that, if you don't want kids and they're upset about that, that's their problem. They need to respect your decisions for your own life and throw away those expectations they had for how your life should go, according to them. It's your life and your happiness, you decide how to live it. And if you do want kids, but you don't want that kind of relationship with someone, there are so many options nowadays, adoption, in-vitro, etc.

I just think people have it wrong. Sex isn't endgame and the only way to show love. Sure, it's a way to connect, but there are also so many other ways to be intimate. You have options.
A big thing causing guilt and doubt and confusion is that this path we're supposed to follow is so ingrained in us to fulfill certain expectations, that we feel like we're failures if we don't follow that normal, set path. This is coming from someone with anxiety who puts a lot of pressure on herself. It's a constant battle. I have a hard time identifying as ace because I have that part of me always telling me that if you identify this way, you're closing doors, and you'll never do a, b, and c, so you'll never be happy. The thing that helps me is seeing people that feel the same way, and feeling like what I'm feeling is valid, not a hormonal imbalance or mental illness, and not a defect or a result of anxiety or sensitivity/trauma. (That's a whole other can of worms)

[sincerlymusic]

I’m definitely aromantic. I really resonate with that intense feeling of closeness without the romantic part of the relationship.