How to Deal With a Toxic Boss Without Quitting | Do These 3 Things | Advice from Engineering Manager

Many engineers and engineering managers are stuck inside toxic work environments and working for bad managers. It’s a growing trend that’s creating many downstream problems because if you work for a bad boss in a toxic work environment for too long, it stunts your professional growth and destroys your confidence, mental health - and perhaps your career!

For most people quitting or finding a new job isn’t always a realistic or timely option, but if you can’t avoid the problem it will only get worse.

This video shows you 3 ways to take control over the situation - so that you can set clear boundaries with your bad manager, and use your bad boss to your advantage!

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Are you an engineering manager to technical leader who’s ready to increase your impact and take your leadership skills to the next level?

Links Mentioned:

🔥How to Set Boundaries with Difficult People

🫣 How to Influence Without Authority at Work [Persuasion - Part 1 of 3]

👋 The Most Important Skill You Need for Persuading and Influencing People [Persuasion - Part 2 of 3]

🫣 Influence Anybody to Do Anything in 5 Steps! [Persuasion - Part 3 of 3]

👋 How to Convince Your Boss to Let You Work From Home in 5 Steps | Tips from an Engineering Manager

🫣 E29 - How to Deal with Difficult Employee as a New Manager | Advice for Engineering Leaders

More Ways to Connect:
🔥🔥FREE MINI MASTERCLASS🔥🔥: "MASTERING CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK", remove the guesswork and stress by learning this proven framework for providing constructive feedback that drives real growth and empowers your engineering team!

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About Me:

I’m Doug Howard PE and I help engineering managers and leaders increase their impact by showing them how to influence, motivate, and inspire all types of people in any situation - professionally and personally!

Leadership requires a whole different skill set that many engineers are never taught - because in most cases, you don’t have any positive role models to learn from.

Meanwhile, traditional leadership training courses and books tell you WHAT to do in specific situations, and assume you’re naturally outgoing and people-oriented - but this doesn’t work for engineers…

As an engineer, you need to understand HOW and WHY something works before you can absorb, adapt, and apply it in ways that work for you!

This is why I developed my own leadership training framework around understanding human behavior and psychology - so that you can:

✅ Influence without having authority

✅ Understand and deal with all types of people

✅ Motivate people’s behavior and decision-making

✅ Adapt your communication style to match your audience

✅ Deliver constructive feedback that inspires positive changes

✅ Handle difficult people and emotional conversations

✅ Gain buy-in and win people to your way of thinking

Today, I use this framework to teach engineers how to develop an effortless leadership style that is directly aligned with your core values, natural personality, and unique strengths - as well as utilize these skills to your advantage in every area of your life!

I post new episodes every week - SUBSCRIBE to my channel if you don’t want to miss out on any of these insights!

Episode Chapters:
00:00:00 Intro
00:00:40 Why You Need to Take Action
00:02:41 Use Them as Motivation
00:07:00 Don't Take it Personally
00:08:44 Kill Them With Kindness
00:09:38 Why These Techniques Work!

[adamwest]

How to deal with a toxic manager:

1. Get a new job
2. Draft resignation letter
3. Deploy the middle finger

😂😂😂😂😂 works a treat

[andersjohnson]

Most of the time, the smart play is to find another job if at all possible. No matter how well you do the job and no matter how nice you are to your boss, there is a high likelihood that he will give you a poor evaluation, and then your career at that company will be over anyway. Even if your particular situation turns out OK, you will still be working at a company that promotes bad people.

[Kevinzone-mg]

Look pal once your already made the office target, good luck fighting against that. Nothing makes these people happier than to go toe to toe knowing you can't win and it will likely ratchet up more if you stay. Your best option is to worry less about the bills and focus more on your happiness and mental health because these types will continue to chip away at you and in the end the fight really won't matter, recognize a sinking ship and act accordingly.

[gabrielafonseca]

Too late, I quit! I'm living on savings until I get my pension. I'm very lucky I was able to do it. Most people aren't this lucky. I worked there 34 years and got very sick, physical and mental.

[Lona_gomez]

Kindness with toxic people? Funny. It only works in books and movies. 😂

[hershy]

Another thing you could do is document, document, document. That way if they ever do get to be too much you can go to hr, or if it's bad enough, court, and at least have a fighting chance

[sarahferrence]

ugh bad bosses are the worst! this was so helpful. Thanks!

[TiredofTomfoolery]

I am being targeted because I spoke up for myself. My original supervisor left for another job in the agency. Now I have to deal with these jergoffs. This is why I have multiple sources of income because you never know what might happen at your job. Therefore, you always want to be prepared so you don't bottom out when the bubble pops. I'll keep my self respect, but it is making me go harder. I already have a tentative offer for another position

[Rupture]

7:19 dog you had me until here. It is personal

[shahjmir]

the kill em with kindness is HILARIOUS. GONNA TRY THIS.

[GustavoSilva-nyjc]

7:18 And even your performance! When we're stressed or too used to see tragedy we lose our shit with anything and everything looks worse than it is. I have this problem, and was even worse in the past, of seeing myself as the sole cause of things (ie: if i was happy with someone and they were could i would ruminate thinking i messed up etc)

[joannevans]

This is bad advice if the toxicity goal is to get rid of you.

[CobraVeight]

You're spot on, on what happens, fester, so true, mine festered for 17 years, workplace mobbing, and social bullying, with a little harassment thrown in, you would be amazed how many people the Bully can induct as devotees, all the better to sabotage you .

[luishoang]

This video is really helpful for me. I work in the hotel industry and so far I have a manager who is literally the same age as me at 21, who treats me pretty differently than others as he sees me as incompetent and inexperienced compared to others. The way he would deliver feedback about my performance in a condescending manner, asks me to perform more and never acknowledge my contribution makes me really upset. I think that while he has really good skills at the job, he's definitely not good at managing his employees, given how little training he gives me and I was expected to sink or swim.

I don't think I have the ability to fix my manager behaviours, since I'm really low level and not valuable to the company. It is really straining on my mental health, and I feel really weak about myself for not knowing how to deal with this.

[ContentBocce-iowb]

Unfortunately the quality of management in companies is, while variable, also often quite poor.

[wilburDDPpowell]

I wish I would have watched this before I went into that last meeting. But I will keep these things in mind as I move forward.

[vicpso]

I thought the documentation was a good idea.. it is what you do with the information and how you use it.

[istvanpraha]

I left a job with a passive boss. I’d go to him within documentation and examples and he’d be like “ten cases isn’t enough, I need more!”

[aspengolding]

Even though I don't work in engineering, this is brilliant!

[victoriaburgess]

Ahhh. I was waiting for the boundaries thing. That’s important..being “kind” without boundaries is useless and nothing changes