How to Get Someone Out of an MLM | A 3-Step Guide

Have a family member or close friend who’s in an MLM? Here’s 3 Steps you can take to help them break out! I’ve been asked several times what advice I would give someone who has a loved one trapped in an MLM, and this video contains my thoughts and ideas on how you can encourage them to get out. I have developed my 3-Step Guide based on approaches taken by cult psychologists who categorize MLMs as commercial cults.

Please let me know if anyone tries the techniques I mention and let me know how it worked out!

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Steve Hassan & Freedom of Mind Resource Center:

FTC on MLMs:

[MultiCappie]

1. Build trust and rapport.
2. Don't give reasons - ask questions. Let them find the answers.
3. Ask them to keep a record of income/expenses.

[SAVYWRITESBOOKS]

this video is incredible -- from now on i'll link directly here when people say they need some advice on what to say to a family member in an mlm

[WayOverBooked]

My grandmother has brain damage from multiple brain surgeries and surviving a few anuerysms (she's honestly really lucky, and in super grateful I still have her around), and she befriended someone in an MLM. When covid hit her and husband (also her care giver) had some minor loss in income. This new "friend" was convincing her to start being a part of the MLM. And honestly I was shocked. I couldn't believe someone would take advantage of my well meaning, but, incapable of making her own decisions like that, grandmother. I BEGGED her, BEGGED, her to look further into it and then she spoke with her husband and she decided against it. My heart would have been SHATTERED if she had joined. Me and my grandma disagree on plenty of things, but I also understand that she can't necessarily think in the same way that many of us do, she just doesn't have the ability to do so, so I bite my tongue and love her to the end of the earth, and I'd just freaking die inside if she joined an MLM and went broke...

[Genin]

My fiance nearly joined an MLM, but didn't thanks to the fact that she had to buy a starter kit and because she was taught that only pyramid schemes make you pay them to get hired.

[vitalspark]

0:44 "If you haven't been involved with an MLM yourself, it's pretty likely that at some point in your life someone you're close to, someone you love, will become trapped in one of these schemes." Good point! So to save the people I love, I should get involved with an MLM myself. Take one for the team.

[lilsaam]

When GM Skeptic and The Antibot uploads at the same time, who do I watch first??? 😩

[tgirl]

I almost signed to Monat, but I know I don’t have enough connections to sell products, the personally to persuade people to buy, and I also noticed I’d have to pay to work . My dad let me know years ago, if you have to pay before you make any money, it likely is a money grab on their end. It’s unfortunate this person I know is stuck with the company, but she seems happy with what she is doing so I’m unsure how she’s doing . I’d feel rude to ask her about her money and all .

[MarieJesne]

This is a great guide! Just another example if the money isn't a deciding factor for someone -- reminding the person about how much time they're spending with their family since joining the MLM can be a good "foot in the door" to eventually change their mind. I've heard stories from a lot of ex-MLM SAHMs who say that they quit when they realized the MLM wasn't giving them the extra family time it had originally promised and they were working 12+hour days on a regular basis

[maithao]

My husband just joined this "business" called yor health introduced by his friend. He wouldn't believe me when I told him it's a MLM. He said I was negative and should not put him down. He got tired of talking with his team and now he is $1450 poorer with junk he has to sell. He opt out on his own but lost money thinking he was going to make money. Lack of money was the reason why he joined and look where that got him.

[kaylalindsey]

This. This is what the anti mlm community needs to know. ❤️

[BFGalbraith]

This might be the single best thing out there right now about getting people out of MLMs.

[Shasha-joiv]

You are such a wholesome person (in a good way not weird biblical way). Love you! And obviously you get watched before gms lol!

[clt]

Your approach of kindness, love, and understanding is truly the way to go. MLM'ers are at the end of the day people who want to work hard and see the benefits of their work. They deserve emotional support (to a point of course) so it's incredibly valuable to hear what their core desires are and try to find a way to make them feel supported outside of their MLM. Thank you!

[Erin__D]

Great information! It’s hard not to want to blurt our facts about the MLM and inadvertently put the MLMer on the defense. I wish someone would have had this approach the 3 (or 4?) times I got mixed up with different MLM companies. So much time and money wasted. Not to mention having to rebuild certain friendships after I left.

[Grounded_Gravity]

YES, as an ex-cult member myself (though mine was a guru cult, not an MLM), I really agree with these! What got me out was empowering my critical thinking skills again, and the people who helped with that weren't the ones who were always naysaying. That naysayer just gets categorized as someone you can't discuss the cult with. And, as you say, cults are constantly feeding followers excuses and responses for their abuses, so those more obvious arguments are not really gonna have an impact. When people asked open-ended questions about the cult that seemed to come from a genuine place of curiosity rather than an undertone of accusation, those were the sorts of questions that grew into cracks in the foundation. Just give someone the chance to develop enough cracks and chances are sooner or later, their ideology will probably crumble. Thanks so much for putting this out there, I find I'm constantly trying to correct people's impulses to going in with all guns blazing. There is such a need for practical info for loved ones to intervene in a useful way.

[katiegriggs]

My grandmother has been an Avon lady for as long as I've known her, I think they are one of the less predatory MLMs since most Avon sellers I've met don't push the opportunity (I don't think I've ever heard my grandma suggest any of her customers become Avon sellers). I've been sucked into one of the more predatory ones though but realized how manipulative they were when my lead pressured folks to try and attend the convention even when they expressed financial insecurity.
I definitely joined because I missed having a community and I was so impressed with how supportive they were of each other in their meeting I attended. Now I try to advocate against MLMs and I think your point about continuing to show them you care about them and help them understand you care most about them and their wellbeing is the best way to help someone eventually come around to hearing out your concerns if they are involved with something potentially dangerous or harmful.

[corriemcclain]

So I think my personal experience in an MLM is so unusual that it wouldn't be of much value to explain, but when I quit after a year (I'd planned to be in for a year) a month later I'd inadvertently talked my line leader and her whole team out too. In addition to all you great points, I'd add: know about their vision board. At least for me it was easy to care about their goals and hopes and they were never threatened when each month I asked about them. I never challenged them, just asked and then asked caring detailed follow up questions based on their answers. 2. If it's a product that releases new things fairly regularly FOMO (fear of missing out) happens. People who are almost out will stay just one more month in case XYZ. Helping people go through if you quit and then XYZ happens, then what can you do. and if XYZ doesn't happen won't you be sorry you stayed? I hope that makes sense. I'm trying not to write a novel but if it's too vague I'm happy to elaborate.

[joycelinlgbtq]

I have an idea of what might work.

Since MLMs use anecdotes of others who were successful to target new recruits, presenting the opposite side of the coin has the potential to dissuade those recruits. It isn't hard to find many, many stories from previous MLMers who were dissatisfied by the experience - including myself. I have a video on my channel relating to this very subject.
The drawbacks to this approach are if not handled carefully & compassionately, you risk looking like an attacker. Also it's easy for someone on the inside to rationalize away all the red flags with the 'that won't happen to me, they weren't trying hard enough' programming. I'm not totally sure how to get around that, but I believe framing those things as questions as in step 2 would be really useful.
"Do you want to see the other opinions of someone who worked for this company?"

[jaszminejohnston]

My sister and her fiance joined...making me feel isolated, distance, and alone. They would talk about the group as if they know them their whole life, yet we know its not true...ive been dealing with this for 3 years...i cant do it no more, its making me more depressed. People say move out, but I don't think thats gonna help..that just might make it worse. I needed this video desperately..thank you.

[Notintheknow]

My friend who used to be in one sent me this video
I'm happy he left