What Is The Best Way To End A Relationship? | Alain De Botton

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[mmcmiddlechild]

I think the worst way to leave someone is to be a total coward and not leave them at all, but be such a pernicious human that they eventually get to the point that they break up with you, because it’s what you wanted them to do. You torture them into compensating for your cowardice.

[knowyourfashionhistory]

“The truth is better than you think” 👏🏾

[KatieScarlett]

My ex broke up with me one day out of the blue after two years and talks about marriage and a future. Out of nowhere he cut it off and didn’t tell me why, didn’t tell anyone of our friends. I’ve been broken up with before/ I’ve broken things off. To me the cruelest thing is no explanation.

[Dr.Don.Cornelius]

I've learned that a lot as I've gotten older. The scenarios you make up in your head are almost always worst case, and the reality that's happening in the background isn't anywhere close to that.

[kudos_and_shine]

Sometimes people do hate us and want to humiliate us and want to be cruel. Some people are terrible people.

[meggcor]

I was left like this, ghosted, no explanation, no nothing. That cancelled everything for me and to this day I am convinced I meant nothing to him. Please, don't be a coward and tell the person you are leaving them. Not doing so can break some people for a very long time.

[itsmichaelponce]

Ghosting is necessary when dealing with a narcissist. They do everything in their power whether it’s deceit or manipulation to get control over you. When you have exhausted every avenue for a better relationship including conversation. The only thing left to do is leave because they’re never going to peacefully want to let go of that control they have over you.

[chrisklaeffling]

How wonderful he speaks and how clear his thoughts are 😊

[thomasfleming]

My wife of 10 years ghosted me about 6 months ago. She blocked me on every platform and moved out of state. It has been the hardest 6 months of my life because I simply do not understand why she did what she did. There was no explanation, she simply acts like i don't exist. Its brutal.

[danielcharland]

I've had this happen when all signs were going great and we'd been talking for six months, just about to drive across a few states and meet in person, then sudden blocks out of nowhere. I never plan on trying any sort of long-distance relationship ever again.

[bulunguswhale]

except that sometimes people do want to be cruel and hurt you on purpose… and to humiliate

[sm-xzkx]

Yes, finally a reliable expert saying that communicating the split is and should be the normal, compassionate thing. People need to know what happened.

Forget the “Do you want closure from the person who hurt you?” “If they wanted to, they would. Move on!” How nonsensical some soundbites are!

Instead, this is the logic we should listen to.

[TruthcanbefounditsJesus]

Narcissists don’t want to know why at all .This is true sadly but average person even in theses troubled deceiptive times deserves some explanation .

[otodidact]

I wrote a careful letter to my ex precisely for this reason. I thought it was best I articulated exactly why her abuse had come to the point that I should walk away.

She didn’t understand and even continued doing the abusive things I mentioned while I was reading the letter to her!

Months later she claims I was breaking her down for reading that letter to her talking about her abuse to me!!

There are some offenses where you don’t need to announce your absence

[Viper]

My last ex cheated on me and I found undeniable proof. It devastated me so much that I secretly called off work and spent the entire day moving all my things out of our place. I said nothing and literally only left a note that said "You know what you did."

[wendythomas]

Having that conversation is hard and needs to be done face to face not by phone or letter.

[llamafromspace]

Hates us boundlessly is such a powerful phrase

[skubaRu]

For me the best way to leave a cheater is the nothing at all route. Because any conversation will just be nonsense that won’t provide me with any comfort anyway. But yea for just “it’s not working out” type situations an honest conversation is best.

[VairesSunchaser]

Got partly ghosted then completely dumped after 8 years. Was convinced and happy I found my other half for the rest of my life. That robbed me of the last opportunity I would have had to have a kid of my own without entering huge risk territory, since it takes me so long to get comfortable with someone new because of my history.

He knew. We had discussed all of it.

[SuperLifestream]

When I was around 20 living with my gf of about 4 years, she just came home from work one day with her mum and moved out. No discussion or anything. I gave up and was single for about 8 years. Now im 33 and just got married. Being single in my 20s was good for me