Father Who Abandoned Us for His New Family Surprised I Want Nothing To Do w Him After Mom Died. AITA

My dad wasn’t around when I (M17) was a kid. Always “working” and when he was around he didn’t do much with me. All school stuff, games, b-day parties were only my mom while he would just be at home.

Then it came out he was cheating on my mom when I was 7. They split up but I stayed with my mom. He never visited or would say he is and then not come.

I pretty much forgot about him until my mom passed away a year ago and my life has been sh-t ever since. Don’t worry I’m in therapy. I got an awesome therapist and talk to her every week online.

The thing is I was forced to come live with my dad. I wanted to go with my grandparents but he wanted me to be here with his family and grandparents pushed me into going with him. My dad’s trying to act like he hasn’t ignored me all these years.

Story 1:
AITA for telling my dad not to bother with me because I’ll be gone when I’m 18?
Story 2:
AITA for not selling my designer clothes to pitch in for my sister’s medical treatment when she won’t sell her hobby items either?
Story 3:
AITA for not allowing my sister and her kids to move in with me?
Story 4:
AITA for inviting my future father in law over without telling my fiancée or her mother? He’s suffered enough.
Story 5:
AITA for not standing up for my sister poly relationship to my brother

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#AITA #Parenting #Family

[redditoutloudrelationships]

Story 1:
AITA for telling my dad not to bother with me because I’ll be gone when I’m 18?
Story 2: 4:17
AITA for not selling my designer clothes to pitch in for my sister’s medical treatment when she won’t sell her hobby items either?
Story 3: 7:56
AITA for not allowing my sister and her kids to move in with me?
Story 4: 10:31
AITA for inviting my future father in law over without telling my fiancée or her mother? He’s suffered enough.
Story 5: 15:21
AITA for not standing up for my sister poly relationship to my brother

[mavallor]

Stepmom calls op ungrateful. Proper response should have been “Oh I’m sorry I couldn’t hear your sense of moral character over the sound of you sleeping with a married man you worked with and destroying a family that included a young child”

[gamermooo]

I never understand people who cheat then act surprised when their bio children never want contact. What do they expect a fairytale?

[silverfox]

It's hilarious that the adulter says OP is horrible for ignoring the father but it wasn't horrible for the father to ignore the kid for over 10 years?!?!

[Alistair]

Many years ago my sister gave my Burberry raincoat to one of her boyfriends and l never got it back. When l complained my mother and sister said its only clothes. get over it.
When she went to work the next day l took ALL her clothes from the wardrobe, the chest of drawers and all her shoes and took them to the charity shop. When she came home and saw an empty bedroom she started screaming. All l said was its only clothes, get over it. That's when they learnt I was a vindictive person who doesn't turn the other cheek !

[carolcarol]

You can't forgive people on someone else's behalf.

[rimirutempest]

Story 1:
I understand that the father was trying to fix that relationship, but no one can force a second chance out of someone else. The father burned his bridges and now has to live in the ashes, that's just how it works.

The stepmom needs to cool it as well. OP has almost nothing to be grateful to this guy for. If anything, OP can thank the father for the very short time he spent at his father's house, but it's not like he even asked for that!

[kateemma]

The step-mom in the first one would deadset get a ‘sluht says what?!’ to every single thing she says to me.

[bonb]

Third story OP is definitely TA. He has totally failed to see the situation from his fiancé's perspective. To her he is not the nice guy from the tennis club. He is the deadbeat dad, who never married her mom then abandoned her and their children while he got married and rode off into the sunset with the younger woman he was cheating with. OP's fiancé had to struggle financially to support the family her father left while her father's business was successful enough for his wife to steal money from. OP has dismissed her feelings about this man in favor of his own. OP needs to stand down before he loses his fiancé.

[CombativeMedic]

Imagine a homewrecker calling you, the child from the marriage they destroyed, a POS.

[J-tron-kefn]

It's disgusting how a marriage breaker has the guts to say the victims of rheir selfishness how they shoukd behave.

Cheaters always make me sick.

[stephanien]

11:24 — it’s a warning sign when someone is estranged from ALL OF THEIR CHILDREN...

[jaydave]

I remembered my cousins when they were my same age as 7. Their mother left them because she was fed up and tired raising them and because her husbands job is minimum wage, he was a ship dock weilder.

My mom who was the sister of their father helped raise them and they became like my siblings, we grew up together.

They now have their own successful business as a mechanics shop with 3 branches and family of their own.

Two decades later their mother contacted them wanted to see them and her grandchildren. They were stunned but didn't want to do anything with her, she even visited her grandchildren at their school in order to meet her sons, asking that they should be family again.

Because of that they gave her a restraining order not to get close to them or their family.

They found out after she left them she got married but divorced and lived-in with another man whom they have half siblings with. That man was deported back to his country and brought his two daughters with him, leaving her for herself. That man and her children has been NC on her ever since.

She has been jumping from one job to another just to feed herself.

A year ago I heard she got sick and was in an elderly home. Her sons whom I grew up with said they will pay for her living expenses until she expires as long as she does not get in contact with them at all. They even put a restraining order for her not to come to their fathers grave nor to be buried near to him.

[ryzukumagawa]

Story 2 tell anyone who argues to sell their car or take an loan on their house that will get them the memo

[KimPossibleShockwave]

Stepmother: "You're horrible for ignoring your father when he's trying to make things right."
Stepson/OP: "You're horrible for being the cheating that broke up my parents' marriage. Your opinion means nothing to me."
Simple.
OP is probably 18 by now, so I'm pretty sure he's left and gone. I wish there were an update.

[jmarie]

YTA for the person who invited his future fil without asking fiancee. Knowing someone by playing tennis is not the same as being raised by the man.

[SnowyWolborg]

Story #1: NTA. Being physically present is not the same as actually _being there_ and being a parent. And if he has a problem with it, then he should have been more involved when OP was still a kid. It's his own fault the door has been closed on their relationship. He wouldn't have to "make things right" if he didn't screw up from the start.

Story #2: NTA. Pretty selfish for the sister to think that another person has to sacrifice their material items for her debt when she won't do the same. If she really wanted to clear this debt, she'd pony up something for sale. I guess she's not too sick to be greedy.

Story #3: NTA. When someone only contacts you because they want something, just hang up the phone. It sounds like OP's house is already crowded enough without an irritable pregnant woman with 2 kids coming in. This is what happens when you pointlessly burn bridges with people. When you need them, the connection is gone.

Story #4: YTA. OP wasn't the one who was hurt by the FIL, so he doesn't get to decide when or if the rest of the family forgives him. OP can have his relationship with him that can be separate from his fiance's. But it was a stupid move to invite the guy over, knowing the rest of the family doesn't jive with him.

Story #5: NTA. Even ignoring that OP isn't close at all with his sister, this was _not_ OP's situation to even get involved in. She's trying to drag OP into something that has nothing to do with him. OP can't do anything about his brother not being accepting of poly relationships.

[erynwells]

Love how the sister is willing to sell her sisters stuff for her medical bills but she can't sell her stuff. Sell your stuff before I even think about selling my stuff. NTA

[brianbarber]

Fiancé/FIL story: I hope the fiancé dumped him, as he doesn’t care about her feelings.

[theb]

I was in the Navy with a guy who had to go live with his Dad and Step mom at 16. He lived with them for 2 years and never said a single word to them and joined the Navy on his 18th bday.