Dementia caregiving: 'What about repetitive questions?!'

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I am so glad/relieved to say that this is the way I have been dealing with it! You are right - it is a great way to keep it interesting for yourself! ha!

erinwinsor
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I keep getting the comment about how I never come to visit her. Yes, it is a repetitive question, but it is more like an attack followed with a lot of anger with comments of you hate me, you have always hated me, etc. It makes me terrible sad - I think her timeline has gone back to when we fought terribly when I was a teenager. It's breaking my heart because we had such a great relationship later in life.... she tells my brothers the same thing - how do we embrace this?

I try to visit once a week and spend a couple of hours with her. In her room she can be very abusive and hostile about how I never come to see her, I never do anything for her, etc. I avoid defending myself and keep trying to answer we were here last week or a few days ago, etc. she insists we have never come to see her, nor has she ever been to my house. She gets snarky by saying I hear you have a lovely house, but "I have never seen it". I don't fight with her, but I let her make all her accusations and then we get her out for a walk.

Once she leaves her room she is relatively pleasant - UNTIL we go to leave and then she gets mad again, saying I have not been there long, I just come for a few minutes then she can get very upset so we have gotten into the habit of visiting just before lunch or dinner.... saying we have to leave for a Doctor's appointment (blame the Doctor!!! Always works!). Any ideas on how to embrace her reality of me never visiting? I am trying hard to visit, but the stress prior to visiting is really hard on me and my hubby. :(

lorripeltz-lewis