Narcissistic relationships and social anxiety

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[freestang]

When you're so conditioned to the scrutiny of narcissists, you start to think everyone is judging you in that way.

[NarcSurvivor]

Narcissists will cause you to feel very anxious in public. You will be constantly doubting yourself and thinking there is something wrong with you.

[bluaurora]

I’ve always had social anxiety and I now realize it was because I came from a very dysfunctional family where shaming, invalidation, contempt, chaos, fighting, and criticism were the norm.

[dharmadharma]

This is no joke. Life ruiner. An 11 out of 10 reaction where you visibly feel like you're dying in a simple conversation.

[betsysue]

I was shy before my narcissist. He told me people didn't like me because i was too quiet so i tried to talk more. Then i was "derpy". Now i ruminate after every social interaction thinking about how annoying i was and worried that they'll never want to be around me again.

[michellerae]

Raised by a narcissist and a cocktail party with small talk required is my worst nightmare.

[amysenchuk]

I am so grateful for Dr Ramani covering this topic. Because of narcissistic abuse and consistent gaslighting, I have severe anxiety being around people.

[Sama-rprb]

Being already an introvert who don't like small talks + having a narcissistic parent is really disastrous
it takes from you all your social skills that you need to build new relationships
I felt extremely caged and lonely not having any single friend for years and still I'm painfully suffering

[zumbanatalieb]

Social anxiety is where I’m at. 2 months out of my narcissistic relationship and I’m torn between feeling devastatingly alone and terrified to meet with others. It’s really hard.

[suzannehenderson]

Social anxiety is not to be underestimated as its tentacles can reach into every area of one’s life and be totally destructive. Relationships, friendships, career, identity can all be ruined by the fear of ‘being seen and judged’, especially if you have grown up in a family system with regular criticism and contempt. It can lead to self loathing and loss of self credibility. Reclaiming one’s life is necessary but, with help, it can be done.

[hybanthopsis]

I was in an abusive relationship for the last 11 years and these videos about narcisistic personality disorder explain E V E R Y single aspect of my life & patterns of abuse during this dark period, and silly insecurities/self doubts I have now. They gave me the strenght I needed to leave and I can´t thank Dr Ramani enough <3

[rayray]

Oooh my gosh, when my narc was unemployed he would always talk crap about people who worked 9-5s. Saying we're weak and giving up our time for companies who don't care about us. And the sad thing is, it would make most people including myself, feel shitty about our jobs, even if we loved what we did.

[pavelderus]

It’s good we know all of this now so we can be better parents to our children than the parents we had

[dgsyczb]

My childhood has just been explained to me. WOW!

[jackychuplis]

My ex made me anxious in social settings because every time I was even polite to someone like I normally am, he berated me for it and said I was "leading them on" so I became afraid to even look people in the eye for fear of being accused of "checking them out". If someone even said "hey" to me he would start yelling at me after they left and say "WHY IS HE TALKING TO YOU???" He convinced me I was the one who was wrong because he said "If you love me you won't be leading other people on and you wouldn't care if they thought you were nice" and he told me I have histrionic personality disorder. He even tried to get me to quit my job as a cocktail waitress because he always said I liked the attention from drunk guys.

[wishingonthemoon]

“I had it together socially and then I got into this relationship, and now I’m a shell of myself.” You said it perfectly. Hit the nail on the head. They destroy your sense of identity until you don’t know who you are anymore. And then when you leave or they leave, you’re still a shell because they took the best parts of yourself with them.

[Jane-gtef]

I attended a music school for 10 years - playing piano. When at home, my palms were fine and dry, but once I had to perform in front of my teacher, the palms became so sweaty they glided on the keys. My teacher scolded me for not washing my hands, which I did before every lecture repeatedly, and even often went with me to wash them again. It felt embarrassing but, in some sense, also assuring. There were concerts once per year for parents and anybody interested. I was always mortified. My parents did not bother to come, not even once. Sometimes I wondered what the teacher thought. I was her favorite student, she wanted me to continue, but I play only for my pleasure when in mood. It took a lot of effort to play in front of my children and husband, too, but it improved with age.

[kimsalter]

Mine seemed to manifest mostly as a child when my report cards would say "Kim does not participate in class". Well, I was a shy, quiet introverted child that existed within an abusive family. Why the hell should I open my mouth for any reason? And subject myself to being judged for it? All I wanted to do in school was to blend in with the wall and just get through it. Now as an adult, I've gotten over that for the most part but I'm never going to be that person who speaks first in a crowd of people. I'm too busy measuring the room and taking the emotional temperature of everyone there to make sure that it will be safe for me to do so. Even now though, I don't place myself in no-win situations when it comes to having to stand out somehow.

[beatitcreep.]

Before my narcissistic relationship I was an introvert, now I am socially anxious. I almost didn't go to my best friend's 40th birthday party because I didn't know anyone except for my friend and his girlfriend. I begged my ex to come with me and he did... I didn't know he was the reason why I was feeling so insecure in the first place.

[shinysideup]

Social anxiety is just one of the many ways that I no longer recognize myself after realizing how I’ve been in the clutch of narcissists my entire life. I always thought of myself as outgoing and fun spirited and other people seemed to agree. I had many friends and always had people wanting to be around me. Then after a series of very bad narcs which knocked me into the reality of their existence and I’m so wrapped up in my head now trying to protect myself that I’m terribly socially anxious. I literally don’t recognize myself anymore and worse yet, other people have commented on how different I am. I blame it on getting older but truth is, I live in my head because it’s the safest place to be.