Great Guy But No Chemistry - Should I See Him Again? The Short Answer

If the chemistry isn't there, it's not there. Move on. But you may be missing an "attraction of inspiration."

Attractions of inspiration, according to psychotherapist Ken Page, are the attractions most likely to lead to lasting love.

In this video, dating & relationship expert Amy Waterman explains how to distinguish between attractions of inspiration and attractions of deprivation...

And why it pays to give that great guy a second chance.

Want to find out how Ken Page answers YOUR viewer questions? Watch him reply to this video here:

#ShortAnswer #YourBrilliance

[efroggys]

The problem is that the “oh get to know them and you could end up super attracted to them” is a very dangerous place to go because all it does is make both of you open up and be vulnerable and waste time only to likely break it off because that spark never ended up igniting due to the lack of physical chemistry/attraction you knew about from the beginning. Its so complicated.

[ameyzeigler]

There is a difference between chemistry and compatibility. I once dated a guy and we had great chemistry, but we were not compatible at all! I am glad I sacrificed a little chemistry for compatibility. Great video!

[a.d.]

this does not work for me. I am either attracted (from the start) or I am not. Second, 3-d dates do not change that. A complete waste of time.

[Belientje]

This is exactly what I’m going through right now. I’m going on a 3th date tomorrow. I thought that giving him a second date would spark something in me, even if it’s just a little bit. He’s a great guy, we have the same interests in many different areas, but I feel nothing, there’s just nothing… I feel totally numb about him and I hate it. I want to tell him this, but I see he really really likes me, and I’m afraid I gave him that impression too. I don’t want to force myself to like him cause that is only gonna make me feel akward. I really don’t know how to tell him all this without him getting annoyed, mad or really disappointed.. 😣

[jordiemiddleton]

As a guy I come across so many women who reject you on the basis of having no instant sparks and chemistry, I thought I was loosing my mind, its good to see advice against it.

[MS-nski]

I had my attraction is unable to grow because he doesn’t realize he has an odor

[nm]

The person who I can say I have truly loved didn't have chemistry at the beggining, over time as I got to know them I realised we were compatible being able to talk fot hours and feel good with each other.

[Lifers]

I wish the woman I just went on a date saw this. We texted and FaceTimed for months. We finally had a chance to meet each other and the date was kind of a flop. She said she didn’t feel a
Connection even she used to call me every single day and talk face to face. I just don’t understand what happened to her. I genuinely liked this girl, almost to the point of loving her already, but she didn’t feel the same.

[santabala]

I went on a date with a very good man, with values ​​and principles, handsome, respectful, the truth is the ideal man, but when he smiled everything changed, he was missing a tooth and the others were in poor condition, the smell from his mouth was terrible, everything The attraction fell suddenly, what to do in this case, I imagine he will have to pay thousands of dollars to get his teeth fixed, I subtly asked him what had happened with the missing tooth and he told me that it was an accident, I gently told him to visit the dentist and take care of his teeth, he seems to be attracted and told me many nice things but I think he realized my disappointment.
What to do, realy is very nice guy and a gentleman.

[joseaugustoencarnacion]

Don't, its a waste of time .
if its not there within 2 weeks leave.

[jillsalkin]

"How good his company actually feels, " does not mean you feel a spark. That is why this is so confusing.

[jimbrausky]

Great advice. Some coaches erroneously say that they should not date no more but I dated someone once who I did not find very attractive in the first two weeks but after 3 weeks or so everything changed, i was very deep in love, and it was the best experience I ever had. So people should give it a few dates before making a decision. Because this other woman recently told me, prematurely I think, after a 20 minutes date that she had no chemistry, that turned me off and never went on a second date.

[praxisdike]

I chose this advice and now I'm not lonely anymore! I had no friends at the time we were getting together so he's my best friend. Downside of course is that he repulses me sexually and I completely shut that part of me off, but otherwise he is loyal, secure, tender, kind and for the first time in my life I'm relaxed.

[Jakilyn]

I had a first date last week with a man. The vibes felt off. No chemistry. He was subtly insulting/picking on me from the jump. When I told him, I'm sorry, I don't think "We're a match" afterward...he proved my instincts right. He immediately got defensive and started bragging about how _wonderful_ he is. Then, asked me if I wanted a NSA arrangement😆😆

[zrivera]

So when a woman says she didn't "feel the chemistry, " that's just another way of saying that she's not attracted to you?

[Chuck_Nrris]

I am a guy and was looking for the exact same advice really. I have been dating this girl for a while and at first I was very attracted to her. Today we were hanging out for a few hours and I just feel really comfortable around her but for some reason the butterflies, attraction if you will wasn't there.

I could have kissed her but I didnt. All I know is that I like this girl as a friend and she is pretty. No idea why I am getting doubts when she obviously is a catch.

[Keyumiz]

It sucks when you really like a girl and can't show it and treat her well because you will be the nice guy. Then when I start acting like I don't care it usually means I don't care if lose her.

[judyb]

I gave him a second date but I still felt numb and no attraction. Couldn't see myself physically intimate with him but he had his life together. It's disappointing but I need to feel something in my heart. He was also newly divorced and I don't think he was ready for a relationship more likely lonely.

[JazzyArtKL]

I had a really fun date with a lady, we laughed a lot, had lots to talk about, were playful etc, but she still said "no spark", "no chemistry", after the first date. I asked her if she enjoyed the date, she said yes, but if felt more like a friend. I really don't know how to solve this as a guy. What can you do as a guy where the lady will 'desire' you and create chemistry. I know there has to be a delicate balance, between confidence (not arrogant), tease and tension, but I get friendzoned always quickly. I am seeking how to fix this. Why does this always happen?

[jgall]

Wow this blew my mind! Thank you soooo much. Invaluable