why I 'quit' my dreams of working in animation

this is a different video today! a couple years ago i decided to quit my life-long dream of working in the animation industry... and it was the best decision i ever made.

Dreams are important! They can be a concrete goal to strive upon, full of all your passions and greatest desire. HOWEVER I definitely feel like society does place too much emphasis on the concept of dreams and it can be toxic. This video isn't meant to deter anyone away from trying to work towards their dreams, instead, this is for anyone who feels like they are at a crossroads. That maybe they feel like it's time to stop pursuing that dream, but they don't know how, or feel like they're 'giving up'.

I will be talking about the following:

00:00 - Intro
04:01 - Where it Started (Highschool, Art School and my Dream)
13:34 - Applying For Work + Endless Rejections
21:49 - Controlling my Jealousy
27:56 - Are Dreams Toxic?
30:30 - At a Crossroads/Making the Switch
37:28 - Where I'm at Now!
41:02 - What to Do If You're at a Crossroads too!


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All music is from Epidemic Sound
#illustrationsketch

[AnooshaSyed]

I am blown away by the response on this video, thank you guys so so much! And thank you for leaving all your comments and sharing your story with me. I can’t reply to all of them but just know I read every single one!! ❤️
Also, I would really recommend reading through these comments just to remind yourself that you’re not alone in this :)

[kupotenshi]

I remember in high school the art teachers would discourage kids from drawing anime, and now we have artists making money drawing cute anime style twitch emotes and v-tuber models, and of course the anime con circuit and fandom merch stores are huge. I think finding an art career is more about finding the jobs that fits the art you already naturally do, not trying to transform your art to fit a job

[Lydia.Galleta]

God, i really needed this. I related so hard to the "kid who can draw" part, lol. I always loved to draw as a child and everyone told me that I was really good at it and that I would make a career out of it. So I believed it. And then I went to uni to study arts without really knowing what art school was like and it was a huge disappointment because we had classes like sculpture, oil painting, performance, art and technology and all of this different things that I knew nothing about nor did I enjoy. So I ended up dropping out after three years because it was taking a huge toll on my mental health and I found myself completely lost. I always thought I would end up becoming an artist so I didn't have a plan B. I enroled in a makeup school completely on a whim and luckyly foun out that I really enjoyed doing makeup and that I was also good at it, so it became my new dream. But a few years later I found out thta my country does have quite a small industry for makeup artist and that is very hard to get your foot on the door. Also, after working in small productions I also realized that even if I loved doing makeup, i didnt quite like the uncerten nature of freelancing work on the enterteinment industry. And then 2020 happend. Two years latter, at 28, I found myself not knowing what to do with my life. I've recently reconected with my love for drawing and, thanks to therapy, I've been able to recognize that I'm actually good at it. Since uni I've always strugled with impostors sindrome and, since drawing always had come natural to me, I started believing that if I wasn't improving as fast as I used to it was because I was simply not good enough. I guess I've always struggled with the concept of hard work because I was scared of putting my all into something and it not being enough. I think I'm finally at a point in my journey were I have the strenght to actually try. And I found your video at the best time possible. Thank you so much.

[mewTripled]

omg girl THIS IS THE STORY EVERYONE NEEDS TO HEAR! Thank you so much for sharing this 🥺 and i'm so happy to hear you're on a path that resonates with you more. I find it interesting how you mentioned Tangled was also one of the animated movies that got you into animation and it was about changing your dreams, and here you are living your best life in your changed dream!

[CharlyLane]

“Dreams can be quiet, and that’s just as important.” Wow, that hit hard! Amazing video that I really needed to hear right now, thank you!

[RobynO_O]

Funnily enough, my dream was to be a children's book illustrator, and I've ended up as an animator. I wrote and self published a book, and I've done some illustrations for other books freelance while I work full time as an animator, but never been able to really get illustration off the ground as a viable career. I do love animation as a craft, but my current job is taking me down a particular path I'm not sure I want to go professionally, so I'm at a bit of a crossroads myself. This was a great video to watch with regards to the concept of "giving up" on your dreams and the fact that people can just change, it doesn't have to be seen as giving up on your dreams. You can just change what you want in life.

[jamquijano]

I turned 25 last November, and last year had been the most difficult year of my life. I was diagnosed with a shitload of chronic illnesses (I'm basically a person with disability now) that impaired my ability to create and think - hence, I had to quit my music career, right when it was starting to gain some traction. I had to cut ties with the record label that was good to me and I had to give up working with my mentor and musical idol. It was one of the most difficult decisions of my life.

I feel like I died already - when you attach your identity so much on your dreams and what you do, the moment you lose sight of it, you lose your purpose as well. And it's all my fault really, I'm stubborn to a fault. I had those horse blinders for years and sacrificed my mental, physical and emotional health because I thought it would really pay off in the end (not bragging; people told me I was really good and had a future with it if I just put my head down). What happened instead is I forgot about my health, relationships, and got seriously ill in the process.

Someday, I hope I can be where you are right now. Thank you for sharing your story, it gives me hope.

[jackpotcomics]

Thank you for sharing this!
I went to Gobelins and after working for 12 years in animation, I've decided to quit it for a lot of the reasons you stated here. I think the biggest mistake people can do about animation is thinking they could "create meaningful art". Animation is an industry and the vast majority of people working for it only sell their skills, not their art, style or ideas. I've recently heard someone state a famous movie director saying, "making a movie is like painting a canvas while you're fifty feet away from it and you can only tell 60 persons how to paint on it by talkie-walkie". It's easy to think you'd be the director, but it's plain to see that it's only for a handful of over-talented or well-connected people and all the rest are just holding the brushes (and nothing says that the director will enjoy the process or even be happy with the result). And I've come to a point in my life when I can't stand holding the brush for anyone's else creation anymore. I've always felt way more creative fullfilment by making my own comics aside from my animation jobs (except that I couldn't make any living out of it lol). I'm currently facing a life-crossroad too and I couldn't agree more with all you said in this video!

[vanessagamez]

Didn’t know how much I needed this. I recently let go of my dream of becoming a film maker. I used to think film making was the only way I could be apart a community that helped tell meaningful stories. A few months after letting go of my filmmaking dreams I took a job as an art teacher/librarian and slowly started integrating my love for graphic design and filmmaking into my classes and started to realize how much more fulfilling and important it was to me to help my students tell their own stories.

[jehanarakhonat]

"Dreams can be quiet" - yaaasss girl. Thank you for sharing.

[KeishaSalmonArtist]

"Dreams can change", yes! Growing up I wanted to be an animator, but when I saw all the work that goes into it I was like, " New Dream.... Illustrator it is!". I like the satisfaction of a quick finished drawing over working years on one project. ☺😁 The mental struggle of artists is real. 😌 Self doubt, anxiety, depression, mixed with joy, excitement... Lol. Yup that sounds about right. But after a while, and your skills improve, you sort of come to terms with your abilities and you learn to be gentle with yourself and your art. Looking back you see how much you've grown and you begin to realize that you have blossomed into a beautiful artist. 😎😘

[JazzyCast]

I'm kindA at the part of life where everyone got dream jobs except me, have been applying everywhere for a job for the first time for a librarian role while all my friends got a dream job, the feeling of envy and jealousy is so so baaad. I'm glad you talked about this bc I was feeling so shitty ;-;
The other part of my life is good tho i got to make a cover for a book with a big company without even asking for it! I thought that because i have never gone to art school and am from a 3rd world country i would'nt get this opportunity but somehow God paved the way :')

[Enginejen]

Yep. Ever since I was little, I wrote songs and sang. I got fairly close to a record deal, but nothing planned out. I have notebooks full of songs that very well could be hits, that probably will never even be recorded. It’s something I devoted the first 30 years of my life to before I had kids. There just doesn’t seem to be a path for music in my life anymore and it’s devastatingly heartbreaking. I truly believe(d) that was what I was born to do. I’m not bitter anymore, but I do get sad. Now I just sing to my 5 kiddos and that’s enough for now. Sometimes I get angry and it all seems like such a waste. Why would I be given all of these songs to write and this voice if no one will ever hear them?

All that said, I also always have filled my life with art. And at a very young age picture books fascinated me and sucked me into fantastic worlds and situations. As an adult I have an embarrassingly huge library of picture books that I’ve collected. I can blame my addiction on providing good reading material to my babies. 😉 a few years ago, before turning forty I started focusing my time and energy on actually producing picture books. I now have a notebook full of book ideas and storyboards and sketches. Working on finishing illustrations for my first book with at least five more in the early stages. In my art, I’ve found a blissful realization of a different dream. With music it was cutthroat competitive and backstabbing. With art, I get to just create what I love, and it’s exciting to me that I could publish a book that could inspire a kiddo like so many books inspired me when I was a child. 💗

[heidibunnyart]

I'm so glad I clicked on this. The rejection stage of your story is my life right now. Applying nonstop for jobs for over two years with nothing to show for it, despite having a BFA in Animation. Seeing my LinkedIn feed makes me feel sick at this point. I turn 25 in a month and I dread it more than anything. I'm not ready to "quit" just yet, since I'm lower class, I can't return to school to try again. I hope I can learn to get over this pain and find something that works for me. And not have to worry about money for the rest of my life. Thank you for sharing your story!

[MarleneVega]

Didn’t know how much I needed this talk! 💖 I can relate to so much, especially the part about holding onto things because if you let it go it’s like you were giving up. For me it was teaching physics, I went to school and studied physics, I thought I wanted to be a professor and when I did it for a year I realized I didn’t love it. It gave me so much stress and anxiety. But I held onto it because I did not want to admit that I actually wanted to do art this whole time. I was scared of what people would say/think. So just in case people asked me what I was doing, I held onto that job just so I had something to show for all my years of school. I finally took a break from it last year and it was the best decision I ever made. Every now and then I do feel guilty or slightly jealous of peers who are working in the field/ or at a fancy lab or engineering company. But I know deep down that I am meant to be an artist. And I know if I keep working on it, I can make this art thing happen for me 🙏

[NightlyMakesArt]

I'm (almost) 26. I've been doing cosplay since I was 12, and when I was 16, Avengers came out and changed my life. I wasn't into Marvel or superheroes at all, but I loved the movie so much. My friends told me that we had to wait to through the credits to see the after credit scene, and that's when I saw costume designer as a job. And, like you, I had this sudden realization that my love for cosplay and costumes could get turn into an actual job. So I went to college, but the only one that I could afford only had a fashion major. I thought, well, as long as I can make clothes, I'll get a job. So even though I was miserable, I forced myself to finish college. But, when I applied to jobs, everyone was shocked that I had never worked in a theater before and didn't see how fashion connected to costume design. (Even though I had a costume portfolio and fought my professors every step of the way to make it so.)
Then I moved to Atlanta where all the Marvel movies are filmed and after a year, I had failed to make connections and was still rejected from every job. I even went to part time and hardly had enough money to eat because I needed to 'get better at sewing'. I realized that... I'm satisfied with how I sew. It works for me, and I don't have to make costumes for anyone but myself. I realized that the networking and cattiness of the theater/film world wasn't for me. Now I'm trying to figure out what to do next. I am now living in Germany and learning German (Which, learning a second language has always been a dream of mine in itself), and university is free here, so I have every avenue to explore. I'm considering art history and/or museum work. I think once I start down the path, I'll find the niche that's right for me...

[NeroMai]

You hit every note, key, and chorus of how I've felt for a while! Even working freelance feels shameful at times because it's not the status quo 9-5 that my family expects, and the jealousy that comes with it is real.

[PatrickSmithAnimation]

Thanks for sharing your story.. for us artists, it's truly a struggle to find our path, and it's inspiring to hear yours. subbed.

[laneydayze]

I also love how you talked about tangled at the beginning because one of the great arcs in that movie is also a 'quit' dream. At the beginning of the movie eugene wants to be rich and popular, and after the events of the movie his priorities change and his love becomes his new dream. Sometimes change is for the better.

[Anna-mg]

Its interesting that tangled, a movie all about dreams, is what sparked yours! And then another disney movie helped you untangle (hehe) your complicated feelings about your dreams. I feel like im in a similar position and hearing this was so helpful!! Thank you as always!