10 LIfe Lessons You Can Learn From A Narcissist: No, Really

Sometimes life lessons can be learned by going through the back door. That is, when wrong things happen, right responses can be determined. Psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter discusses how narcissists present many opportunities to learn these backward lessons. By discerning their unhealthy patterns, you can determine to live into the better alternatives.

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who lives in Dallas, Tx. In the past 39 years he has conducted over 60,000 counseling sessions and many seminars and workshops.

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[RockawayCCW]

Narcissists taught me how to defend myself in a world full of bullies. It took a long time, tho, and my soul absorbed a lot of poison in the meantime.

[bonnieforman]

The only 2 people who put "thumbs down" on this video are narcs who are pissed you're wrecking their game. Thanks again, Les. Great videos.

[thebluevelvetriver]

1. Engaging in expressing strong opinions - it reveals a type of weakness. Life lesson - be modest in your manner of speech. Be openminded, narcs aren't.
2. Subjugating your own needs unnecessarily and you lose yourself. Life lesson - I'll think and act on behalf of my true self.
3. Motivation by Guilt. Life lesson - act upon common sense of your free will.
4. Joy is overshadowed by anger. Life lesson - it is not your job to make the other person happy (by appeasement or argument).
5. Love loyalty & commitment pronto - they demand it quickly. Life lesson - love, loyalty & commitment require time. Let patience lead the way.
6. Harsh and constant criticism. Life lesson - look for chances to be an encourager. If not with narc find others to encourage and don't get stuck in critical mindset.
7. Entitlement reveals an empty soul. Life lesson - you find your specialness by helping others feel special.
8. In arguments, reason is not present. Life lesson - disagreement is an opportunity to know each other in a better way. You can have anger and sanity at the same time.
9. A poor understanding of intimacy - they want closeness sort of. Life lesson - building bridges to another's heart requires time and it requires authenticity. Intimacy is not manipulative postering. Yours will be more of a heart issue.
10. Operating on a pecking order. Narcs want to be at the top of the pecking order. Throw out pecking order. Life lesson - treat each other with value and equality.
It's easy to let the narc establish your patterns. Turn your observations into life lessons that result in healthy life skills.

[gammalight]

You know that movie, The 6th Sense, where the little boy sees dead people? I kinda feel like that, only with narcissist now

[victoriapierscinski]

You are teaching empaths how to develop an adult self! I thank you❤️

[wolfesound]

They taught me how to love myself in a healthy way so as to never tolerate them again.

[thinktank]

Narcs lost attempt on false restraining order. They cursed me out in court, judge threw both out. And advised I get restraining order ASAP. I'll be doing this tomorrow. No contact is apparently the only way feasible. Thanks for giving one courage and support. First time in 52 years I've stood my ground. Combat Veteran, but can't fight these Narcissists. Cheers, and thank you.

[methodicalmysticbutterflyi]

I thank GOD every day that I've found you, Dr. Carter. 😇🙌🙌🙌

[louwa]

What a mixed bag of emotions. One moment I'm angry and want to expose them. The next I feel sorry for them and want to wake them up. Either way, it wont work. They'll just keep treating me as if there is something off about me. But thanks Dr C. Now there is a anchor to hold on to. Lifesaver.

[jcreole]

It is indeed true that I learnt from the narcissists how not to be a miserable person! That only a miserable person can make others miserable.
One important lesson I learnt from them is also to not judge a person or an event based on what someone else is saying, but by interacting with that person or analyzing the situation myself.

[missmonasuzette]

Dr.Les's infinite wisdom never ceases to amaze me. He's the Narcissist Whisperer. The best on youtube, and probably the world. Too bad I have to keep coming back here.

[gracegarce]

This is very on point! Thank you for reinforcing my thoughts on how turning "lemons into lemonades" out of a narcissistic person.

[Sunny-iqhm]

I know I've learned a lot in the last few months. What is the most valuable thing I've learned? Introspection! Take a good look at myself, and discover areas in me that I need to improve on, how to let others know that they are deserving of respect, dignity, and civility. As for the suspected narcissist in my life, I have let go of that. I can't fix that person, they don't want to be fixed!!

[omega]

I learned all about Narcissism from my (latest) EX-NARC. Not only did my education help me deal with her, but NOW, I began to understand what happened with my previous relationship failures. I learn about the Narcissist Dance (Love Bombing, Devalue, Discard, Repeat) and for the first time, I learned that I was a co-enabler. Looking back, it's pretty easy now, to see what caused the same failures, repeatedly, and how I was, unknown to me, a Narcissist Magnet.

>>> Now I have high hopes for the actual success of my next relationship, If I'm lucky enough to have another before I croak (I'm nearing 70)

[hotdog]

For the Don't do by Guilt point, I have learned "Do Right Regardless." No matter what the others says, wants, or how they boss - do what is right even if they don't like it, or even if they have insisted on it. Tell self, "I will and am doing what is right regardless."

[loisbrowne]

Thank you Les. This video wraps it up for me. You're amazing. This describes my journey, brings it home. I'm praying a lot too, for guidance on my path.💖🙏

[Herekittykitty]

Mine was very good at faking intimacy. Too much touch, too much affection at moments that it was unwarranted. Cause fights then act like it never happened and trying to force closeness after. Horrible people. Very unnatural behavior

[melissamullins]

It is really hard when it is your flesh and blood that is a Narcissist! Then you go through guilt of feeling like you do toward them. I try to put distance as much as possible.

[jikrukowski]

Yes….. I have figured out especially if it is a parent ...…..take it as a blessing and say to yourself Thank-you.... You are the best teacher for me because... you teach me how not to be!!!! It teaches you to go within and listen to your own intuition and guide you through life and avoid the selfish, manipulating, lying souls who need to feed off your energy. Grey Rock them. It works every time. Meaning DONT ENGAGE! It drives them NUTS!

[augustdawn]

This video is exactly why I watch all of your videos . . . quite few really hit home for me and this particular video was an eye opener, allowing me to learn something about myself. Thank you . . . I will continue watching.