How to CoParent with Someone You Hate #MarriedToATherapist

How to CoParent with Someone You Hate #MarriedToATherapist //

Are you wondering how to coparent with someone you hate? Child custody and co-parenting can be tricky. Watch this video for our number one tip to co-parenting success.

#MendedLight
#MarriedToATherapist
#HoeToCoParentWithSomeoneYouHate

[shamstam]

Just want to say that the volume could be balanced even better:) the intro music was super loud and startled me hahaha

[sigthom]

This is GOLD! Can I request a video about cutting off a parent? Specifically a mother. I’m so tired of ppl saying “it’s your mom just ignore her”. She’s not going to change. She takes pleasure in being divisive and an antagonizer

[shanwild]

My mum is such a superhero and her power was giving me the choice to see my father, no matter what he did to me. She never took that choice away from me, and allowing me to make that choice to walk away made me much stronger. Great video, and I think it's indicative of great parents.

[AndaraBledin]

This is a great vid on owning and defending your own agency.

It's important for people to recognize that how they *feel* is not something they can control, even if it is something they can train. But how they respond to their feelings is a choice they make.

[Otamon]

the volume of the intro is too high in comparison to the rest of the video

[pigpjs]

Some strategies my cousin did when dealing with her ex who was an addict.

- The only time she got child support was when he would be in jail/prison and do work. Though the checks were between $0.25 - 2.75, she would show her daughter and deposit it into a college savings account. She told her daughter, look your Dad is supporting your future.

- She searched for a family lawyer that had experience with criminal law. She was clear, she never wanted their daughter to be without her dad but she had to know her daughter was safe.

- She got their daughter a cheap cell phone even though she was young. It was so she could text if she didn't feel safe and needed to be picked up. This way she could help her daughter and get written proof of what was happening.

[plop]

Thank you for the video, I needed to hear this. Ever since I left my abusive ex, he tries to paint me as the villain indirectly on social media. It doesn't bother me anymore as I don't need his validation for my feelings. I do hate him for the pain I went through and now even more for not choosing to see his kids under supervision. I tell my kids early on that he has the choice to go see them, I want them to see their dad but he hasn't made any effort to see them. I cannot trust him with our kids now that the court order is almost over. I plan to take legal action because I know he would do anything to not take responsibility for his actions and deflect it towards me.

[KxNOxUTA]

That's some really good advice and how to explain it well to kids!

The superpower of choice is one that apparently really not many adults have mastered. Or even developed. And part of why life presents itself as tough and unkind is exactly this. And power being given away or demanded or abused.

It takes a lot to navigate a world like this. And we're here, trying.

[Kiiyoutsu]

My partner is in a difficult situation where both sides see drastically different things that are best for the 4yr old daughter. So, as one of her examples to talk to the child have them explain is hard to do. It doesn't make it much easier that the mother's side is refusing the budge with any form of communication and if confronted with a concern they immediately become defensive and hostile. We are very concerned and don't know what to do when the other side is being extremely difficult, even though they claim it is what's best for the child. If there is any guidance or suggestion, I would greatly appreciated it. 🙏🏽

[MMHay]

IME, when a parent does what's best for their children, the children recognize this as well (Especially if the other parent doesn't). One example of several - I have a friend who's a parent going through a divorce. They have always made an effort to do the best for their child (now ~10 years old), and the child noticed that and prefers to spend time with my friend rather than their ex-partner. I'm not going to comment on the ex-partner myself, because the only lens I have about her is through my friend, and I recognize that's probably biased to all heck, but I think the fact that the child strongly prefers to spend time with my friend speaks for itself. Investing time and love into the child's needs can really strengthen that bond.

[lucerobarrera]

My parents separated for a year and it was horrible. We were all adults but they would not talk to each other at all. We own a business and it was hard to communicate with either of them about what was needed.

[hwizell]

To my eternal gratitude, no matter how my father was or wasn’t a participant in my life growing up
She didn’t bash him in front of me
After all, good or bad- this person is half my identity
And I was free to make up my own opinions on his character and actions

[PandaMonium]

Sadly there are too many parents out there who cant take your advice because of the #1 rule....they are too enthralled fighting with each other to notice "hey maybe the kids seeing this all the time isnt a good idea."
My own parents custody battle was one of those. They had to be threatened with jail time before they finally cut the crap.

[megapiglatin]

What about co-parenting when the other parent SAYS the child is their priority, but simultaneously does not SHOW that their child is the priority despite being given multiple opportunities to be supportive?? To the point where there child misses their parent but also does not feel comfortable with being vulnerable with said parent?
This is what is happening with my partner's daughter--he has been the primary parent in an ever-increasing way for her entire life and now her mother has moved away--yet again--and has slowed contact with her for seemingly no reason. The resulting emotional fallout has resulted in their daughter falling into a deep hole of despair and we are seeking professional help for her because it's more than we can handle at this point.

It's difficult when you have to co-parent but the other parent does not appear recognize (or potentially value) the child's needs....

[alpharius]

I want to thank you for this Video, because it was... it is really helpful and supportive to me. (Sorry, english isn't my first language.)

[ActiveAdvocate]

To be honest, my parents should NOT still be married. I'm the youngest of three, but I'm 31, and only still living at home because COVID makes it functionally impossible to get a full-time job. They HATE each other. Every single evening, weekend, and holiday is one giant fight. You know it's a bad time when my favourite time of week is Monday morning at 6:30AM. But I can't exactly tell them to get a divorce, and as to couple's therapy, the one and only time I suggested it, mom literally said to me, "Who's going to clean the house and make the food and do the jobs and take care of things when mommy's at therapy, huh?" I know WHAT their problems are--namely that she treats him like a child and he treats her like a b*tch, and that does not a good dynamic make--but how to fix them is beyond my scope. Little help?

[The]

Batman "It is not who I am inside that defines me, but what I do."

[SC-mdqo]

Having no control over my childs well being and her environment at her moms is pretty tough for me. I could spend all the money and time on her hair and head lice will forever be a problem.

[Hellion]

How to respond to "it wasn't that big of deal or you would have been angrier."

[christiaanmusic]

Horrible to you (even if you treated him/her well), still a great have such a hard time with this concept. How does that even work?