Take the Dwarf Pill

True chads live beneath the surface of the earth and eke out a living on the precious metals and gemstones beneath, occasionally fighting mighty dragons, nasty goblins, and pouring vast quantities of molten metal into the water supplies of the Elves. (they deserved it)

Thanks to the anon from 4chan's /fit/ for the copypasta

Thumbnail art by Faegirr

Orchestral version of Diggy Diggy Hole by Jordy Zijlmans

Elves theme - Drunk With Dwarven Mirth from Divinity Original Sin

Baruk Khazâd chant by me

ROCK AND STONE
(I still need to get round to actually playing Deep Rock Galactic ;_;)

[DreadAnon]

I wanted to use a clip from the Hobbit for the Baruk Khazâd chant but I couldn't find one with decent audio quality so I just made one myself. I think it turned out pretty good! Feel free to download it and use it in your own Dwarf-related endeavours:

[konignickerchen]

At some point it stopped being a motivational speech and became a promo for a sandbox dwarf RPG.

[Qreamey]

As an ugly manlet, I can confirm that WE FIGHT FOR ROCK AND STONE!

[stonedguyy]

The dwarfpill is telling you to strengthen your body, craft your own fashion, to be confident despite of your flaws, to create a workplace that you enjoy and to practice a hobby that fulfills you. Meanwhile the knife-earpill is telling you that happiness is all genetics. Choose wisely.

[wargriffin]

"Take the Dwarfpill."

Falmer: "Wait a minute, I've heard this one before..."

[beniciounfiltered]

This is unironically making me feel proud to be 5’4, I might just embrace the dwarf pill.

[itsumayo]

I took the dwarfpill and suddenly beat all my personal records in weightlifting and got the urge to yell “ROCK AND STONE”, “MUSHROOM”, and “WE’RE RICH” while drunkenly wielding weapons of mass destruction.

[SpookSkellington]

Step 5: Get arrested for cleaving someone's skull with an axe because he short-changed you 5 years ago
Step 6: Lose your court case because "i was just settling grudges manling" isn't a valid excuse for murder (damn umgak legal system)

[DudeWatIsThis]

Goblincel: someone who works at a giant corporation, gets promoted to middle management, thinks they're worth something but in reality they're just a cog in a huge factory controlled by the most evil minds in the world.

Gnomepilled: works at a small workplace, knows they're small and is content with doing honest work to improve happiness in their small community.

[ForceOfUru]

"...MINERALS, PRECIOUS, or semiprecious, GEMSTONES AND METALS!" was not expecting sudden calmness at that point 😂

[Mr.Sassman]

I know this is a meme but I genuinely think embracing the dwarf aesthetic and lifestyle would do a lot for some mens mental health. Physical exercise from metalworking, having fun gathering a collection of rocks and/or gems, and no need to worry about being overweight since being fat is a most for dwarfs.

[zackanderson]

The Elfcel is what broke me at the end. Amazing reading all throughout.

[captus]

LET THEM COME, FOR THERE'S ONE DWARF LEFT IN MORIA WHO STILL DRAWS BREATH

[oscarlove]

I like how the elf immediately starts talking about women not finding dwarfpill attractive.
you think i'm doing this for women? i'm doing this for me.

[thephoenixfromoz]

Brothers of the mine rejoice!
Swing, swing, swing with me
Raise your pick and raise your voice!
Sing, sing, sing with me
Down and down into the deep
Who knows what we'll find beneath?
Diamonds, rubies, gold and more
Hidden in the mountain store
Born underground, suckled from a teat of stone
Raised in the dark, the safety of our mountain home
Skin made of iron, steel in our bones
To dig and dig makes us free
Come on brothers sing with me!
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole
Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole
Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole
The sunlight will not reach this low
Deep, deep in the mine
Never seen the blue moon glow
Dwarves won't fly so high
Fill a glass and down some mead!
Stuff your bellies at the feast!
Stumble home and fall asleep
Dreaming in our mountain keep
Born underground, grown inside a rocky womb
The Earth is our cradle, the mountain shall become our tomb
Face us on the battlefield, you will meet your doom
We do not fear what lies beneath
We can never dig too deep
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole
Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole
Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole
Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole
Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole
Born underground, suckled from a teat of stone
Raised in the dark, the safety of our mountain home
Skin made of iron, steel in our bones
To dig and dig makes us free
Come on brothers sing with me!
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole
Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole
Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole
Diggy diggy hole, diggy diggy hole
I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole
Diggy diggy hole, digging a hole

[kylesmith]

The “ or semiprecious” absolutely kills me 😂

[daniel-zhnjyny]

There's a band named Wind Rose, they sing dwarf metal. The lead singer really looks like one.

[s-luka]

How to become a dwarf: Drink

Edit: First, I never had so many likes and comments. Second, I find it funny that everyone talks about steps, when I didn't mention it.

[d.n]

Sometimes you can't find precious stones, I appreciate your kindness and understanding and settling with us green beards gathering only semi-precious stones.

[tango]

The Elf is immunized against all dangers: one may call him a scoundrel, parasite, swindler, profiteer, it all runs off him like water off a raincoat. But call him an Elf and you will be astonished at how he recoils, how injured he is, how he suddenly shrinks back: “I’ve been found out.”