I’m Tired of Parenting My Schizophrenic Dad!

I’m Tired of Parenting My Schizophrenic Dad!

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[shola]

It's so hard when kids have to parent their parents 😪

[ashleyb]

Schizophrenia is very sad to watch. I’ve worked in an ER for 10 years and I feel it’s one of the worst mental illnesses to observe. Seeing a teenager or young adult come in and they are not able to manage it and having an episode, it’s like they have a body but their mind is somewhere else.

[dm]

My mother refused to take the medications. She ended up being homeless even though she had a family that cared. The Catholic Church was wonderful when my Mom was ready to get off the street due to health problems. The nuns advised the family which services to contact. My Mom had the most wonderful facility to live in and 24 hour social workers that kept her on the meds that was provided by the state. Please contact your parish or faith organization to see how they can advise you.

[xxxx]

This brings me to tears each time I listen. It is an answer to prayer - when Dr. John comes in @ 3:39, more specifically @ 6:59 - I have been responsible for my schizophrenic mother and needed to know where ./ when to draw the line. This is very helpful! Thank you caller and Dr. John.

[orphansparrow]

Involuntary long term commitment at a facility is EXPENSIVE! Most people could never afford such a thing. That’s why there are so many homeless schizophrenics. There are no public facilities that don’t require payment.

Also, schizophrenics need help and if their family isn’t going to step in, chances are no one is. Dr. John is right though in telling her she needs to ask for outside help.

[DorchesterMom]

I have to keep mine at arms length and keep my boundaries up, otherwise it’s all consuming. It’s not as bad as it used to be (she had her break when I was 12 and she was 30.) She’s on some meds, but she has her moments. I have long ago given up trying to change her, I just try to love her as is, but in a way where I can retain my own peace of mind. She’s dying of cancer right now very slowly, it’s tearing me apart because I love her, but I’m also imagining that there will be a time not far from now where I can finally take control of my own life. Yet - I don’t want her to ever go because she is my mom and I love her.

Complicated ant even the word. It’s a tangle of every emotion. And at the center I’m simply exhausted. I”m 43 and am working through CPTSD and I also have adhd.

I’m so, so tired.

[xrzrxzb]

I’ve been taking care of my mom since I was 17yrs old I’m 46 now and as she ages it gets harder! I don’t regret anything but it’s not an easy road

[dm]

God bless you young lady. You are going through a very, very trying time. The struggle is real and very, very few people will understand.

[dianecelento]

John is so compassionate, one of the best.

[riseredeos]

Its costs the patient 7K per week for involuntary commitment. They won’t keep him long. At some point the facility will release him bc a suit doesn’t see him as profitable enough and he will join the ranks of homeless that die in the streets every day.
Most functional people can’t afford minor mental health treatment. She would have to win the lotto to get him long term care. The moment he’s “functional “ they will kick him out.

[rachelgooden]

2:14 John is extremely pissed that they were thrown into this like that. So unfair that the adults around explained nothing, and as soon as the daughters were of age, they dumped the responsibility on them

[shola]

That headphone analogy helped me understand.

[apurvajha]

I am just sooo tired of my dad rn.I literally have to leave my studies just to take care of him and he is not even ready to atleast take medicine . The amount of abuse me and my mom goes through daily feels like I will loose my mind. I don't even remember what it feels like to have a good 5 hour sleep n not waking up to him messing up things

[cassandrarossi]

It is super hard when your parents are disabled. My dad had multiple sclerosis, my mom has other issues. A long term care facility might be a wise choice but do homework on them. Read reviews, ask for refrences, etc. I hope the caller can find peace with this. And be a visotor when you get him somewhere safe. Espically on the holidays and birthdays. Make sure it is a place that allows visotors if your dad is safe and well enough for them.

[jennyspicer]

You are such a beautiful empathic soul the way you explain things 🥺❤

[margaretsmith]

Dr.John listening to you helping this beautiful, caring empathetic daughter trying to help her dad trapped …..she needed to be encouraged and supported by your wisdom…..I was touched by your advise to her but especially encouraged by her genuine pure love of her dad and her pure humanity…Yes, let’s pray that without that raw goodness for our suffering humanity enables us to be helped to do the best we can and leave the rest to God….Amen….

[daniellinville]

My dad used to believe he was John Dillinger. My mom got him out of the mental hospital by making him admit he was not Dillinger. When he came home, he became convinced he did not have a son and I was an imposter. I was five. My mom raised me alone, in constant fear of him. He has a lot of money from no one knows exactly where. He still believes I am an imposter and calls up employers and tells them he is a federal investigator warning them I am somebody else.

[lwscijunkie]

If the entire professional efforts of all those educated and dedicated professionals and lay volunteers and government regulations and law enforcement are demonstrably UNABLE to adequately handle adults as disordered as this poor lady's father, what...WHAT can she and her family do? I don't advocate completely blowing off loved ones with severe mental and/or addiction issues, but she HAS TO KNOW that he is not fixable. She can love him without taking responsibility.

[aliciabrowndocken]

My Mother was a Paranoid Schizophrenic. In order to deal with it my father found Devine Inspiration, Wisdom and Guidance from the 3 Wise Men and my parents got divorced. When I speak of the 3 Wise Men I'm not talking about the Father, Son and the Holy Ghost, I'm talking about Jim Beam, Jack Daniel's and Hiram Walker. What a Ride.
My Mother was always medication non compliant and cycled regularly. We were often given a paper sack and told to put 2 changes of Clothes in it and go sit in the car. We were repeatedly told that we were going to be taken to the Orphanage. We were always told that if we'd just behave better she wouldn't hear the Voices. Imagine what it felt like being 14 years old and knowing that you were the Smartest Person in the room. At 18 my mother discovered that I'd enrolled in our local Community College. She checked with the Voices and they assured her that the Community College was run by the Devil God Satan himself. She promised to see me starve to death in a Cold Dark Alley with an Aching Hungry Belly before I went to No College.
I put 2 changes of Clothes in a paper sack that night and I joined the Military. I haven't been back since. From what I hear everyone has since passed away.

[ga]

I agree with John's advice. I wonder if this young woman could ask her county to get involved, along with a physician to declare her dad a vulnerable adult who requires a social worker to be assigned to him and make recommendations/decisions about his care. Unfortunately, South Dakota doesn't have a good track record when it comes to access to mental health services.