My Daughter Stopped Talking To Me: My Response

A couple of viewers alerted me to a video they said triggered them. It was made by a mother whose daughter cut off from her. It's about the ways in which she tried to reach back out, and the feelings she experienced. That might sound ok. Yet the three of us were left feeling disturbed after watching it. I think you'll quickly see why...

The views given in this video are entirely my own and are not intended to diagnose or to treat anyone.
I have done extensive research on narcissism and the effects of narcissistic abuse. I work as a coach specifically with people who have experienced an abusive relationship. Let me know in the comments section below what video you would like me to make about an aspect of abuse that interests you and please subscribe to my channel!

[rainbowgirl]

The way she went right into a smear campaign makes it perfectly clear why she was cut off.

[thatsaniceboulder]

Well, she proved her daughter correct. The daughter tried to speak, was completely ignored, and the idiot then makes a manipulative gaslighting video about how badly she’s being treated by this horrible adult child.

[HaidukeNT]

The mother found a way to keep being toxic to her daughter after she cut ties, well done

[CorgiFrizz]

My mother was wildly abusive- physically, mentally, verbally, emotionally. The only thing that stopped when I became an adult was the physical abuse. Neither of my siblings nor I speak with her but if you ask her, she doesn't know why. She says things like "Maybe I was abusive, but if you had a child like you, you'd be too." She also says things like "I did the best I could. It was a long time ago, get over it." I'm nearly 60 at this point & have nothing to do with her. I have no guilt or regret about that either.

[RedGirl]

The woman even uses a child-like voice to represent her daughter even though it's obvious the daughter is a full grown up. This was very telling.

[gtaylor]

The mother didn't post the letter because she didn't want viewers to hear the details about all the ways she has hurt her daughter. That would be some seriously negative PR - the thing narcissists fear most.

[maemae]

I'm a parent and it seems very strange to me for a parent to say that an angry outburst is out of character. Parents see their child angry at all phases of their life, and more than anyone else they really know their child's full emotional capacity. So saying anger is out of character says very clearly that anger was not an acceptable emotion in this persons house, that screams bad parenting.

[NadiraJamal]

I have only ever heard “I’m not perfect” as a preamble for “here’s why I’m not going to take accountability for the terrible way I treated you or change my behavior.”

I noticed that pattern first in reality TV, but now I can’t unsee it.

[christelle]

A red flag to me is people only showing / holding on to pictures of their children when they were toddlers or very young. As they grow older, they tend to have their own identity / boundaries and that's when the fights begin.

[filmchick]

As the daughter of a mother who never listened, judged, belittled, shamed and guilt tripped, I wish healing for her daughter and a healthy life going forward. I didn’t have the strength to break free - only my mothers death freed me.

[sizzlekitten]

When my mother said I needed to apologize for what I’ve put her through, I truly understood the delusion her entire life had been.

[mikeok]

As somebody who went through narcissistic abuse this SCREAMS narcissistic abuse.
THIS WOMAN IS LITERALLY DOING A SMEAR CAMPAIGN AGAINST HER DAUGHTER.

[darcymoon]

The baby pictures do it for ma haha! It’s like saying “it was so great when you couldn’t walk or speak!”

[gatheringmoss]

I truly hope the daughter sees your video. It's over 36 minutes of solid validation.

[GothicKitty]

"I'm not perfect" and "nobody is perfect" are sentences I have heard from both my abusive family and my abusive partners. So gross!

[ghihbgyu]

Something that really pushes my buttons is the continual smug she carries on her face. No trace of sadness whatsoever.

[beckwhite]

Us daughters of narcissistic abusive mothers can see right through this. The emotional manipulation, guilt tripping and plain fake is so clear to see. 14yrs of cutting contact with my mother. Best decision I ever made.

[ketaleigh]

Gosh, I pray her daughter see's this! Thanks for this.
Edit to add: If a parent had done this public reply to such a courageous letter, I would change my name. This woman deserves no less. This is public abuse. The Mum will never get it. She will bash herself against that grey rock till she dies. Daughter, if you ever see this - With admiration and love I say to you - Be brave and strong and save yourself.

[MBarberfanlife]

Does that mom think that we're all idiots or something? The fact that she even made the video is psychopathic.

[foucault]

Wow, this daughter did at 29 what I finally did at 39. Good for the daughter. On her side.