Psychosis at 14?! | My First Hallucinations

Back when I was in middle school, I started hearing voices. This is how my first hallucination went down and what happened next.

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Disclaimer: I am not a qualified mental health professional. This channel exists for educational purposes, and I do my best to provide accurate and up-to-date information. In order to create content, I combine scientific resources (peer reviewed studies and easy-to-understand articles) and my own personal experiences/advice. I seek to make complicated topics easy to understand, but I am no substitute for a doctor, therapist, or other qualified mental health professional.

#schizoaffectivedisorder #hallucination #hearingvoices

[Dylan-ppfg]

Your story about your mental experience was absolutley fascinating.

[jamiestiles]

Thank you for sharing. Glad yours are friendly. I wish my son had friendly auditory hallucinations. His are always angry and condescending.

[thischannelhasbeendiagnose]

I have a hallucination similar to how you explained your first one. Their name is Artemis, and they have helped me through breakdowns. I really appreciate having them around. :)
I started having hallucinations and delusions back in 2021. With all the voices in my head I genuinely believed I was splitting into more people. These voices have their own personalities and everything. (All except one, he's just a nasty voice)
Loved how you explained internal vs external hallucinations. Sometimes I doubt I hear voices and that they're just thoughts and its nice to have a refresher. ♡

[shushrii]

Thank you for talking about internal hallucinations, nobody ever talks about it! I’ve tried looking for more information on them but all I usually find is external. I used to think I had a type of schizo-disorder, but turns out it was just DID. I still experience psychosis, I’m not sure what the root of it is, whether it’s from some type of schizo-disorder or just PTSD. Honestly I’m too scared to find out and seek diagnosis for it, the world is shit, especially to the mentally ill and I don’t wanna be diagnosed with any more issues. If I am then I’ll have to confront them. Which I’m afraid will lead to even more patronization and disbelief from “professionals” who are too out of their depth, scared, or ignorant to help me.

Sorry this ended in rant, I got worked up as I wrote this, but I genuinely enjoyed your video! Thank you for talking about these things

[kayleighgroenendal]

Your videos are amazing!! My little weird obsession is I find it fascinating how there's even a relation between religion and psychosis. Sometimes I wonder how many historical religiously based events were actually a product of someones mania, and it got recorded. But a lot of good things have been contributed by people who wouldnt be considered neurotypical so its a gift to have those things and to be able to see and enjoy them

[makeu]

I found your channel recently and I would really like to thank you for everything you do. You help me so much! I have bipolar disorder type 1 with psychotic features. I had my first manic hallucination when I was 15. Suddenly I saw the door to my room open and a very bright and damn warm light was shining behind it. It was something amazing.

[gckinsey]

I really enjoyed this one! The way you explained internal vs. external auditory hallucinations was super clear & helpful. And your description of hearing voices in your head also helped clarify the difference between hallucinations vs. an internal monologue (which I could see being a point of confusion for a lot of people).

It was fascinating to learn about your first experience with an internal auditory hallucination. Twilight sounds like he was an awesome friend, and after hearing your story about him, I understand why you were sad to lose him, even though you later came to realize and accept that he was just the result of a chemical imbalance in your brain. If I'd had someone like him around in my head, I would miss him too!

It was also super interesting that your mom thought of him as an angel. Having grown up & lived my life in the Bible belt, I know what you mean about the line between religion and psychosis being blurred (and have seen multiple friends & family members blur that line in various ways). So I can see how that would pose a challenge to you getting the help you needed.

Thank you so much for sharing this very interesting (and very personal) story! <3

[puakia]

As a late diagnosis at 60 just happened, there is so much that is explained and so much that has been lost. I’m coming to grips with the loss and the fear. Your channel helps a lot, so thank you.

[danzashadow]

My first was one I would later call the woodsman. He helped me deal with so much in my life. I miss him. I talked bickering and argued with people in my head for years. In fact i, I didn't think I have anything for years in fact it was this video I have to admit that I hear voices. What you've described is my everyday. But I'm not sure I want them all to go away😢

[xesnhew]

I too was fourteen when my hallucinations started. It was so scary because I would hear insults said in foul language inside my head and I couldn’t make them stop.Being a Christian I prayed and asked God to set me free but it lasted a whole summer long. Then it suddenly stopped and only came back the summer after. Had I known medication could help I would have talked about it to a doctor but I had no idea what was happening to me.Thank you for being so open about your experience. I have learned so much about schizoaffective disorder since I started watching your videos!

[rbf_blonde]

Now after learning about hallucinations that happen inside the brain….. the way you described it… a thought talking back… I worry… because I’ve experienced this for yrs after I lost my grandpa…. And I thought maybe clairaudient. But now I worry more that it’s not. I also just tested it, and I can hear a very faint voice but I always think that’s me. Just quiet thoughts. Thank you for making these vids. Just stumbled across bc I am interested to learn about people’s different experiences with their own mental health issues. Glad I found your page. You keep it real and interesting✨✨

[IAmJustFlux]

I appreciate your openness on this. It's relatable.
You also the type of person I'd like to meet - (friend type - not creepy) Your positivity about the schizo is helpful and you seem to be fun.

[larsgrigsby]

Hi, thank you so much for talking so positively about your childhood symptoms. They have made me see some similarities to my childhood and I think that I may need to talk to my psychiatrist about this or at least my GP. I also had “angels” as a child, and was considered special by my grandmother's church because I could see them. After my brain surgery, a voice named Kyle joined the group and he talked me through a lot of what I needed to relearn. Thank you so much for guiding me to a positive revelation. 😸

[shnaslam]

Obsessed with the detailed and at once clinical and personalized insight. Such depth. Thank you for this resource.

[Jabafish]

I also had psychosis from the age of 14. I got full blown psychosis and went to a psych ward for 8 months. It's very rare, and I almost never hear people talk about it. Make it a conversation!

[TodellaKuiva]

Thank you for this video! I don’t really experience voices as such but mainly delusions and disorganised thinking. Things can get pretty crazy when I’m having an episode and afterwards I hardly remember a thing I have said or done. My doctor is still trying to find out whether I have “just” a bipolar mood disorder or schizoaffective disorder. Nevertheless I get a lot of information from your videos so thank you so much ❤️

[MomoNdLala]

mine is a girly voice but its actually very kind though still annoying. she keeps on saying sorry when I watch the hallucination simulation.

[psychicrenegade]

It's very strange how much our western "schizophrenia" has in common with the eastern "shamanism." I also learned about how schizophrenia and autism are closely related, and how both of those groups are much more likely to experience psychic abilities and telepathy than "regular, " neurotypical people. It's really fascinating. 🤔

[osvaldofernandez]

Thank you for this ::: You are a true warrior ❤ Remember you are not alone! Stay strong 💪

[dtr_cpg]

Thank you for the description. I hear my thoughts sounding in different voices, mostly male ones, but I am a girl. Sometimes these thoughts tell what I, personally, don't agree with, but other times they tell just random staff and sound like they are drunk. I thought it was common experience though. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, but I couldn't understand, why. I hear external hallucinations rarely and don't think that in my case they are due to the disease, because they are usually after sleep deprivation or in the hypnagogic period, which is normal. They are less annoying and much more beautiful (psychedelic) though. These external ones are sounding like nothing in consensus reality. very crisp, and with a reverb thing.