How to be included in any group conversation (Without saying something smart)

In this video, I talk about how you can be a more active and appreciated part of a group conversation. And more importantly, how you can stay engaged without having to say something smart or funny. No quick thinking required!

[Treasurenature]

I usually talk a lot one on one, but in a group, i just keep quiet. This is indeed very good tip. I will try this.

[o.b.]

I always get ignored in group conversations lol... I'll try this! Being in the moment is crucial, I tend to overthink social situations.

[Rohit-gupc]

Someone in group conversation :- _speaks about something I have never heard about_
Me ( _with a puzzled reaction_ ) :- Hmm. Yes, that's great.

[minimmenon]

I thought there weren't many like me...l am usually okay one to one, but absolutely can't get in a word in group conversations. Glad to know l am not alone...😅

[bengarner]

That’s really good advice because one on one is easy but multiple people is hard. Thanks for the advice

[GoddessLaurel]

Thank you Dave, this is a nuance that I've been trying to figure out for years, one on one, I've almost always found effortless, but in groups, I often find people ignore me or bulldoze over me when I'm saying something. I'm going to try your tips! :)

[sanjayjayan]

Good point..
Im a good extrovert in individual conversation..
But when it comes to group..im like a mute person..i cant even talk or crack a joke like the others do.. when you are too silent.. you are not at all considered or important..
Its a hard way but need to work on myself

[MooseCracker]

i throw in just one more step: engage other people - acknowledge the speaker etc and maybe even make a comment but then check in with someone who seems to be checking out.

[AnnaKwonda]

Great tip that completely has worked for me in the past--that is, when I'm not in my head and self-conscious!

[nascarcricketer]

To this one time yeah I was playing cards with a new group of people, and they all super tight knit except for me cuz I’m new to the place, and suddenly two of them started scrumming about and then everyone joined in. Cuz I was new I just sat there, and that’s when I knew I needed this

[barbarahodges]

I totally agree with you. We must pay attention to what others are saying, listening and reacting.

[greaterparrot]

I was the kid who didn’t do any work in the group and I still am. It’s not that I’m an asshole or that I want to give my classmates the rest of the work it’s just that I’m an anti social person who’s terrible with working and talking with people. I prefer doing things at my own pace.

[tony-lxdg]

This was the most helpful video I’ve ever came across. I always used to stay out of groups cuz I didn’t have anything interesting to say to them but now I have the trick. Just go in there and react positively to the people talking. The would think you’re interested and they’ll share more with you. This is a lot helpful compared to just thinking of something to say an completely zoning out and ultimately being kicked out.

[kpoptime]

First video that actually helped me, thank you very much :)
I often find myself in a group conversation not talking at all, I'll try this .

[jeffs_r_us]

Just from experience, I often consciously make an effort react to people and what they’re saying, but now (thanks to COVID) in school we have to stay in our form rooms, and most of my friends are in other forms, so instead I usually talk with these two other peeps. The one is really nice and we get along well, but the other just literally never makes eye contact with me when she’s speaking, she only looks at the other girl. I react and say things, but she still doesn’t look at me, and then sometimes, and this ticks me off as well, when I’m saying something, she’ll just randomly interrupt me and talk about something else. It’s so demotivating to speak to someone like that, I don’t even know why she’s like that, maybe she doesn’t like me, honestly I don’t know. I’m not really such a shy person, but I’ve started avoiding talking with them because that girl just spoils the mood for me. Maybe she’s cool, I dunno, if she decides to engage with me then maybe one day I will know lmao

[ShadowSis]

Your video's are so valuable, David! They break down something big and scary (for the socially introverted) into parts that make sense.

[samislam]

What you've said now is really smart

[epiphoney]

I feel like I have some degree of "poverty of speech". I need to work on my verbal expansiveness. Your tip sounds good. I'll try it. I have 2 very chatty friends.

[jordanjeffers]

That’s not entirely true. Some people just don’t wanna talk to you no matter that. If they don’t know you, or barely know you, they will automatically shut their interest off 100 percent . It’s bs but it does happen . I’ve made a lot of friends by randomly walking up to people . But I’ve had to bust my ass sometimes in groups because either a rude woman or a weird look from some people as if I’m gonna like ask them “ hey guys wanna here what video games I like to play “ ahah . I’m not that dude. I’m actually a good looking dude. But i realized people judge so much it don’t matter how good looking you are or how well you talk . If people don’t know you or don’t know you well enough, be prepared for them to either walk away or stay dormant when it comes to conversations. At that point, don’t cuss them out or get mad cause it’ll make you look even worse . Or the classic thing that has happened to me the people in the group will just say “ mhm “ “ oh “ or “ yup” looking away in fear like they don’t know how to speak to a another human . Fuck those people straight up . I’ve taken woman from men in the group because they found it attractive that I had the balls to come up and talk to them . But other times it’s failed horribly and in the end I was blaming myself . It ruined my confidence but trust me it’s just not everyone is a good individual. Some are jackasses and super judgmental and it’s best you don’t know them anyway . It can be tough, but if they completely ignore you, it’s best to say . “ hey well I just wanted to introduce myself, I’m always down to get to know new people “. Then walk away with pride .

[andyblendermann]

Ohh this is sweet. More reward for less effort and I'm already very expressive, I'll try this more!