The best Homer Simpson quotes of all time

Winning words from Springfield’s resident goof...
Total Film
2022-09-10T11:02:47Z
The best Homer Simpson quotes of all time, Many of us like nothing more than to spend our time batting Simpsons quotes back and forth with family and friends, and none are more amusing than the greats from Homer himself. Here are our favourite winning words from Springfield’s resident goof...
Staying In, The Quote: “What's the point of going out? We're just gonna wind up back here anyway.” Why We Love It: It’s a perfect glimpse into the mind of a binge-watcher.
Defeat, The Quote: “I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.” Why We Love It: Homer always makes time to squeeze in a Flanders insult. Even if he’s got nothing to do with the conversation.
The Future, The Quote: “I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.” Why We Love It: A brilliant example of misappropriating a popular culture phrase - in this case a lyric from Whitney Houston - and using it to bolster an argument. Bravo, Homer J.
Mischief, The Quote: “A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid centre.” Why We Love It: Nonsensical analogies - perfect for rendering folks dumbstruck as they attempt to figure it out.
Film Quotin', The Quote: "Look Marge, you don't know what it's like - I'm the one out there every day putting his a*s on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't HANDLE the truth! 'Cause...
Talking To God, The Quote: "Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever...thy will be done." Why We Love It: A useful nugget of wisdom that can also be applied to the handful of...
The Internet, The Quote: “The information superhighway showed the average person what some nerd thinks about Star Trek.” Why We Love It: A sweet snapshot into the history of the web, it was true when Homer first uttered it, and remains so today.
Break Ups, The Quote: “Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.' Why We Love It: It’s crude, funny and might actually work!
Dealing With Mr. Burns, The Quote: “Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?” Why We Love It: Homer’s rant lets us all know that taking a glib remark too far can often be very, very funny.
Dinosaurs, The Quote: “I’ve gone back in time to when dinosaurs weren’t just confined to zoos.” Why We Love It: Ah, the infiltration of Jurassic Park into social consciousness. Fantastic.
Spaceships, The Quote: “I’m like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?” Why We Love It: Because it’s worth letting this one slip when attending humdrum social occasions in an attempt to shake loose fellow film fans.
In The Theatre, The Quote: "Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right, no, the duty to make a complete a*s of myself." Why We Love It: Kudos to the writers for using Homer’s terrible public behaviour to channel their thoughts on individuals who disrupt cinema...
Idiot Box, he Quote: “Television! Teacher! Mother! Secret Lover.” Why We Love It: If we were stranded in the middle of nowhere, we’d likely shriek the same mantra.
Quick Time, The Quote: “Forty seconds? But I want it now!” Why We Love It: We’ve all faced the microwave timer with the same thought - even if do keep it to ourselves.
Dentistry, The Quote: “Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours.” Why We Love It: Well, it’s only fair, right?
Anger Management, The Quote: "Yes, honey... Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle.” Why We Love It: Once more, it proves that following Homer’s advice is likely to result in an arrest.
School, The Quote: "The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do." Why We Love It: Because it’s quite possibly the...
Maturity, The Quote: “I can’t even say the word ‘t*tmouse’ without giggling like a schoolgirl.” Why We Love It: Because we can’t either.
Smarts, The Quote: “Lord help me, I’m just not that bright.” Why We Love It: He’s so honest about his shortcomings; even if it doesn’