Existentialism and Dating

At first glance, nothing immediately seems to connect the business of dating with the European philosophical movement of Existentialism. However, on closer inspection, the thoughts of Existential philosophers contain a number of insights that serve to illuminate aspects of the dating world.

FURTHER READING

“Dating brings us close to a particular strand of philosophy that, the rest of the time, might not seem particularly relevant to our lives: existentialism. One of the movement’s major proponents – Jean-Paul Sartre – developed a set of ideas that help explain, and give dignity to, the anxiety, excitement and at points vertigo we may experience as we go through the dating ritual.
A key concept of Existentialism is expressed in Sartre’s somewhat obscure but useful phrase: “Being precedes essence”. What Sartre meant by ‘being’ are the bits of our life that we are free to choose for ourselves: how we live, what job we do, how we conceive of what happens to us. And by ‘essence’, he refers to things that lie outside our command: our biological nature, the flow of history, the position of the stars…”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Andrew Lees

#TheSchoolOfLife #Existentialism #JeanPaulSartre

[theschooloflifetv]

Our new app, available on Android, IoS and desktop top too, is now ready for you to try here (do click on this link):

[MosesEmmet]

I like how you’re suggesting that people can change whenever they want... I agree. Sadly, I feel most people are “locked in” to the persona they have spent years creating...

[BlueSkyBS]

Existentialism and Dating sounds like it should be the name of a webcomic.

[irishsapalicio]

Am I the only single person who watches these kind of videos just so I could prep myself for possible future relationship?

[BetoAlvesRocha]

This reminds me the famous Kafka's phrase: *"I'm free and that's why I'm lost".*

With so many paths to go and decisions to make, commonly we'll just feel the agony about the paths we couldn't choose, the false idea of if we had choose the 'Door number 2' instead the 'Door Number 1' our lives would be completely different.

Fernando Sabino, an brazilian writer, says in one of his books: '

*"The great devil of life is between 100 possible ways we must choose one and feel the nostalgy of the others 99."*

Thus, contents like this help us to know that living is about choices and unfortunately we'll just deal with the decisions we made feeling day by day the nausea of our existences.

Congratulations for School of life for such a beautifull video! Alain, I'm your fan! o/ \o

[ChessMasteryOfficial]

*A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.*

[rasmuserlandsson]

I think School of Life just got Tinder:


Girl: heyyy x
School of Life: *Dating brings us close to a particular strand of philosophy that, the rest of the time, might not seem particularly relevant to our lives: existentialism. One of the movement’s major proponents – Jean-Paul Sartre – developed a set of ideas that help explain, and give dignity to, the anxiety, excitement and at points vertigo we may experience as we go through the dating ritual. A key concept of Existentialism is expressed in Sartre’s somewhat obscure but useful phrase: “Being precedes essence”. What Sartre meant by ‘being’ are the bits of our life that we are free to choose for ourselves: how we live, what job we do, how we conceive of what happens to us. And by ‘essence’, he refers to things that lie outside our command: our biological nature, the flow of history, the position of the stars*

[maii.]

Listening to this, I've become more interested in existentialism than dating 😂

[bobgomez]

Dating provides a window for us to see ourselves from the perspective of others and to access some insight in our interpersonal strenghts or weaknesses.

It allows and triggers motivation for growth and developpment of personnality and interest.

As with all things, the easiest way to learn is by trial and error. In a way, dating is like the fast lane of the school of life.

[VARUNX]

Sartre dating theme: hell is other people 😂

[rea]

That is what we often forget when dating, that we, basically, our whole future life depends on it. And when we settle just for the sake of not being alone on Valentine's day by pretending we are something we are not or by picking the first person who shows interest in us, well, we are possibly condemning ourselves to an average life.
We can see this theory as very frightening (our future depends on it) or as a chance to design the best life we can think of :)

[hamzasaleem]

if your date on Thursday goes right, you'll live in the east of Detroit, develop an interest in Mafia history and meth chemistry , and have a child named Marcus who will work as a stopboy

[ellielindsey]

I would honestly love to go to a wine bar that has existentialism on the menu. Sounds like a fun evening to me ;)

[ratatataraxia]

“Forced to make decisions we would rather leave to the gods” brilliant!

[MassimoCecchini-mc]

A date on Wednesday and another on Friday? While i'm studying for an exam? Where should I sign for this? Do you accept souls as payment?

[aaron-kurz]

I hate that they speak of 'the dating years'. It's sounds like they mean mid 20s or something, but I think people can date when they are older too... I think this might make some people anxious and hopeless...

[jonashjerpe]

The essential philosophical question is why we choice the way we do. We certainly experience free will and choice, but this freedom is ultimately an illusion. It's a mirage. There are always underlying conditions that effects our choice in one direction or another, which we are generally not aware of. The only freedom there is is the final surrender to reality as it is. You are then free from the illusory burden of directing the course of life. Then you are also free to experience the flow and adventure of life, which will always surprise us once we let go of all control.

[SonOfScavenger]

be your own actor and director of life. Create your life and dating life

[raikou]

To be honest I just have choices for dating yet I don’t have any attraction towards anyone

[debbiemoore]

Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom. Kierkegaard sure got that right 🤓😶