Are you just an introvert or are you actually Autistic?

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[oboebuddy]

Don’t forget that autism is a spectrum. Not every autistic person has the same set of symptoms.

[DeadlyTiger]

The first bit about being extroverted as a child hit me hard. My parents said "I just stopped talking one day." Well yeah, because I kept getting told what I was saying was wrong. Then we moved to a new city and I was bullied really bad. I always have this feeling of no one liking me and having no idea why.

[DeePeeZee]

It's frustrating to get diagnosed because there's also the argument that now everyone wants to have autism.

[nateboom]

For me, I never fit in as a kid. I always knew I was different and was self conscious. Friend groups were hard because I always had the paranoia that they secretly hate me. For a long time I thought that it was just social anxiety, until I started noticing that I just didn’t talk at all. Not even to my friends or family.

[apatheliac]

Even the label introvert and extrovert are confusing to me. I get energy from being outside and in public, but only if I don't have to interact with them in any way (kind of like a ghost haha). Just seeing other people interact with each other and live their lives. I love being lost in a crowd by myself. But if I have to actually be present and interact with people (especially in group situations) then I am instantly drained.

[insomniacnm]

The one thing that people say that absolutely crushes me is when I meet new people and try to talk a lot and contribute to conversations to then have someone turn to me and ask “why are you so quiet, why don’t you talk?” Like ugh what was I draining myself for in the first place tf

[CodeNameV]

Introverts are not necessarily shy. I have been an introvert my whole life yet I have high self esteem and confidence. My silence and watching/listening is often mistaken as being aloof and arrogant.

[smolson]

When you talked about the way you grew up as an extrovert but had to learn to be an introvert to survive after being reprimanded over and over again for social things you didn't understand. And eventually becoming more introverted because of that. I also definitely understand that and the deep feeling of loneliness that comes with it.

[justrosy]

Sounds like you may have gone through what I did. I was extroverted until kids started bullying me, first at church, then at school, daily, and it never stopped until I dropped out of high school, took my GED, and started community college with actual adults who knew how to behave like civilized human beings. Things started getting a little easier after that, but making friends is always hard for me - I have PTSD from my school years and that just never goes away.

[christynagonzalez]

That's what I was labeled growing up. I failed kindergarten the first time I went because I wouldn't talk (selective mutism) this was back in the 80's. I was then labeled anxious, and with panic attacks or depressed. Never diagnosed. Fast forward to now, I have a 9 year old son who was just diagnosed with Autism and anxiety disorder. Identical to the symptoms I had growing up. Now so much my childhood and current life makes a lot of sense. Reasons I think I was never diagnosed was 1 - parents with autistic traits who saw my behavior as normal 2 - also my parents were immigrants here, we didn’t have a lot of money. Plus 4 kids! 3- general awareness of how autism presents in girls 4 - heavy masking beginning when I was in 3rd grade

[BigmanDogs]

I think one good way to look at it is if said "autistic" behavior appeared in adulthood or was always present. Because that's a very common question that you will be asked and diagnosed, it has to be present in childhood to be autism (undiagnosed or diagnosed). Otherwise it can be things like depression, burnout, anxiety etc.

[bluebutterfly]

I feel so overwhelmed. I remember being a extroverted kid. I feel like I learned to be by myself. I want to be social and put myself out there. I always say: I'm introverted but not shy. Ill say whatever is on my mind but i feel this disconnect with others

[AJansenNL]

The fun really starts when you're a shy, introverted person, wondering whether you're also autistic. 😳 Like me, at 53. And having the added bonus of being a chronically ill, mostly bedbound hermit with no irl social contacts for years. Oh, and cognitive disfunction and memory loss from the disease. The diagnostic process is challenging, to say the least.

[jannettb]

I have friends that are shy or just have social anxiety, and a key difference I've noticed between myself and them is when they're in a crowded area, they're self concious and maybe a little nervous, but they can still function, and they will generally start to relax as they get more comfortable. When I'm in a crowded place, I'll usually start out ok, but all the visual noise and actual noise and people bumping me, each thing is like a shock in my brain disrupting my thoughts. I'll try to concentrate on whatever task we're supposed to be doing, but it chips away at me until my verbal skills break down and pretty soon it's all I can do to just flee. Once I get to the point that I'm just fleeing, my fight or flight triggers an anxiety attack and I feel like I'm literally going to die for the rest of the day, and I'm exhausted for days after that.

[tenprettyflowers]

I started a new job two weeks ago, and I’m constantly fatigued at the end of the day and I feel anxious before I go to work. I absolutely love my job, I work in a lab but I work as part of a team of 8 and because it’s my first time working professionally I’m struggling to figure out how to interact with my team and be more likeable and respected. I’m starting to mask more and more often because everyone is chatty and when I was quiet and settling into my role, a colleague said I should talk more and I ended up joining into the conversations, talking more than I would have liked to and it’s exhausting. I’m forcing myself to be more extroverted just to fit into the team.
I’m naturally introverted but when I’m masking I can become extroverted until I burn out…

[gh-sbdy]

thsi si so true . i found out that at 79 yrs old im a autistic, and nwo finally in life i can learnd how to make new frends and live life. im so happy i watched this while im still young and have time. and now know what i am.

[nxgrxmxncxr]

It’s so wildly accurate how you described autistic social anxiety with the folder analogy. Whenever I try to explain this to people, I like to say that everyone in my life has their own tv show and I have a specific different role that I play in each one. I always know what my motivation is with everyone after I’ve had a couple of interactions with them. I know my friends are that I’m expected to be the comic relief around, or the advice giver, or the wise cracking edgy guy. But on the other hand, I never learned how to play the general/natural roles of who I actually am to people and in society, i.e. son, brother, student, tutor, leader, manager etc. I always am “writing drafts” for people in my head and picking dialogue options that make the most sense based on previous interactions. My life is just one big rpg lol

[goodgaby]

It is so hard to express what’s happening inside when communicating with family. Thank you for the validation.

[martianpudding]

One of the things that lead me to realize I was autistic and not just socially anxious was that even after I had worked on my self esteem a lot and generally saw myself quite positively, I still spend a lot of time ruminating about what people thought of me. I realized that it wasn't (just) that I had reasons to believe people would dislike me, I just genuinely could not tell what feelings they were expressing when interacting with me. I think it's really tough when you're autistic because the only feedback that you'll actually pick up on is on the extremes. People might be giving you subtle feedback that they don't appreciate something you do etc for ages, but you won't notice until they're fed up with you and it feels like that could happen at random.

[SecondChances]

I was the same way when I was a child I always was extroverted I loved talking with all kinds of people and talk to everyone. But the older I got the more I started to become introverted and close myself off more and more because I feel like I was told throughout my life to not be the way I was that there was something wrong with how I interacted with others. Now I suffer from anxiety constantly and I’m always trying to be what other people want me to be. So now I need to retrain myself to just be me.