Can a person with a personality disorder become a counselor?

This video answers the question: Can a person with a personality disorder become a counselor? There are 10 personality disorders listed in the diagnostic and statistical manual: paranoid, schizoid, schizotypal, antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, histrionic, avoidant, dependent, and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. There is some controversy in the mental health treatment community about whether individuals with one or more of these disorders are well-suited to be mental health counselors.

[Adara]

The idea of "personality perfectionism" is certainly an issue these days. Thanks for a balanced analysis of this topic.

[arozeisarozie]

My current therapist (I’ve tried three-four before finding her) has BPD traits, OCD, a past of alcoholism and eating disorders (and probably more that I don’t know about) and she uses her experiences to be a better therapist. I suffer from a lot of what she went through, so she gets it. I’m not afraid of being abandoned by her. She is kind, yet calls me out on my bullshit. She is understanding because she’s both been through and been the catalyst for harm. I’m incredibly blessed.

I think there is a “right” therapist(s) for everyone out there and that personality variation is vital - just like in finding a romantic partner. My previous therapists were very stereotypical and by-the-book and probably are amazing for their current clients. Unfortunately, it was too easy for me to manipulate them (something I don’t always know I’m doing) and I was never convinced that I could trust them enough to let my walls down. You just have to keep hunting until you find your puzzle piece! It’s been three years with my current therapist: my skin-picking/E.D. are better than they’ve ever been and I finally had the courage to end a 7-year, toxic relationship, woohoo!

I’m so grateful for you guys, Dr. Grande; thanks for sticking it out for your clients.

Also, neither here nor there, but I was curious about the psychology behind “tanning addictions”? I saw a story on it today and I wondered if you had any insight. Perhaps it could be a future video!

Many thanks!

[tamaramagdalene]

One time I had a counselor who clearly had marital issues because she shared with me she often had fantasies on ways she would kill her husband and when I stopped seeing her she called and went on a rage about how rude it was to leave her practice. And this one didn't have a personality disorder until I diagnosed her in my mind as CRAZY.

[cynthiaallen]

What about the counselors who talk about themselves excessively? My mother had one like that. They aren't that uncommon, either.

[jmcochran]

I love what you said at the end of the video about personality diversity. It takes all kinds!! I am not a counselor, but I work in the mental health field and have a bachelors in social work, and due to stigma within the field, I don’t want to put my diagnoses out there on a YouTube comment, but I do have my own mental health journey as well as recovery from substance. It is lifelong and something that I am very committed to managing. I’ve found that therapy is key along with recovery program, as well as utilizing supervision and colleague support and feedback, and there have been times when I’ve stepped away from work for a few months to get myself back on track. If a “neurotypical” clinician loses a family member for example or some other stressful life event, they might need to step away and/or seek out extra support to maintain competency within their job, so those of us with mental illness just need to make sure we are constantly doing that, not just when stressful life events happen. Making sure our own “stuff” isn’t negatively impacting our clients is top priority. I appreciate this objective look, Dr. Grande. I was nervous when I clicked on the video, but I think you covered this very well. Also, I will add that although there are challenges and pitfalls to having mental disorders and working in mental health, there are also some really beautiful positives, too.

[Mijn]

I personally have met physiatrists who exhibited low empathy

[epicmercury]

You'd be surprised how much I look forward to your intellectually stimulating videos, Dr. Grande. Love your lucidity and candor.

[jaymhill]

Thank you for the video! I always appreciate your insight. I am currently pursuing a degree in Clinical Social Work and I was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder in 2015. I was already pursuing a career in social work before I was diagnosed with AvPD. This is something that I even ask myself sometimes, however I have been utilizing therapy over the years and overall have been doing fairly well in my recovery. I consider myself to be self-aware and always seek feedback during supervision. It's interesting because in my case, being with people in this capacity (helping others, providing emotional support) has been beneficial in my recovery. I used to be extremely isolated, but I found my purpose when I realized what joy it brought to my life to be of service to others in need.

[LuciaInman]

Watching this video was so much fun! I loved when you were explaining the different personality disorder traits in this scenario. I agree with you, I'm in favor of personality diversity (and diversity in general), as long as it doesn't put at risk anyone's life or safety.

[serendipitous_synchronicity]

Thanks Dr Grande, for making it easy to understand for us non counsellor/psychologists.

[rightnow]

👍🏻 wonderfully said Dr. Grande. I think it says something good about you, that you struggled some in making this video. 😊 I also know a few people in the mental health field who have diagnosis’s themselves, and doing well as long as they take care of themselves. Enjoyed this one as every one you post. Thanks 🙏 💗

[leedunn]

Love your comments on personality perfectionism and diversity. There is often a sense of intolerance of personality difference in our society, especially in the media and in education.

[pocoeagle]

I can imagine it's not easy to do a video about this topic. I'm glad you decided a third time to upload one. It's worth listening and thinking about it. Well done 👍 I always like to read the comments too. Thank you Dr. Grande, have a good week 😃

[ClandestineGirlX]

Back in blue 😉 great video Dr. Grande. You always explain your topics perfectly.

[Beckiner]

This video gives a great ‘one stop’ summary of personality types.Very interesting. Thank you again Dr Grande.

[EnchantingWings]

I'm working towards becoming a counselling psychologist (therapist). I've mostly recovered from BPD with occasional relapses that only last no longer than a day. But, I know how to cope with those relapses, use my DBT skills and distract myself with things I love to do - read psychology journal articles, dance, sort beads, make art and jewellery and other things. I do acknowledge that I've had boundary issues... Mostly because I didn't know what boundaries were. I never learned that I, or others, could have them as my mum would invade my privacy whenever she wanted. Even as an adult living in her home, she'd go into my room every morning (or if she got up in the middle of the night for some reason) to watch me sleep. After I moved out, I really began to flourish in terms of my boundary setting and being able to uphold other people's boundaries. I do sometimes still struggle, but it's getting better over time.

The only symptoms I have are intense emotions (but I can regulate them and usually use those strong emotions for creating pieces of art or creative writing, they really influence my creativity) and binge eating, which is usually a response to stress or strong anxiety.

I recognise that I've issues that I need to work on in terms of trauma and recognise that there's a lot of work on improving myself to become the best therapist I can be for my future clients. I'm committed to help myself so that I can help others. The main reason for wanting to become a psychologist is wanting to inspire client's wellbeing while avoiding mistakes my therapists have made over the years (glaring mistakes at that). I want to help others by being compassionate, empathetic, empowering and firm all at the same time and help them grow as individuals. Research is also important to me, so I would also like to be involved in research of new psychological interventions and changing the mental health system, even if it is by a little. If even a small change that leads to more people that can be helped or can be helped in a new or innovative way is something I strive to achieve.

[PluviophileTraveller]

Loved this video and I have thoughts. Even though I was once very tempted to tell a certain person, upon telling me he was going to pursue counseling, "You know you're going to have to talk about someone other than yourself, right?" (which I still consider a somewhat missed opportunity but that's a story for another day)....I think it's important to consider that the way someone is in their day to day life isn't necessarily how they're going to be in the counseling room. 

Having just been through two years of training, I've gotten to witness firsthand, in myself and others, that honing your counseling skills automatically involves: work on yourself (my program requires us to be in therapy), work in supervision, experiential groups and case management groups, all in the name of formulating that counselor role which inherently involves boundaries. Boundaries don't only apply to the therapist-and-client; they apply to us and the different parts of ourselves. Across the board, no matter what the counselor is dealing with or diagnosed as, it is important that regular self check-ins occur so the we are able to keep those boundaries, hence continuing to make our treatment toward the client our primary focus. 

So I don't know if the issue is the diagnosis so much as how well we manage the diagnosis and how secure our personal boundaries are. Counseling involves a skill set; one where, if practiced responsibly, does not allow any room for the counselor to come first. By all means, they could come first before and after the session but the very nature of counseling should entail that these issues are not brought into the room. If they can't manage that, then no they aren't ready now, but maybe will be later. 

I can even speak to my own experience here. I struggle with depression but it is well-managed (straying from the personality thing but just to put it out there). Last term, I was having a difficult time which triggered my depression, but I was at a place where I felt strong enough to completely put it aside while seeing clients and go straight back to seeking support afterward. And on a spectrum, even though I don't have a personality disorder, I certainly have personality traits that could be therapy-interfering if I didn't check myself! So....bit of a ramble of an answer there, but very interesting topic, and thanks for creating a space in which people can voice their opinions!!

[Ad_Astra_]

I believe it's a double edged sword. On one hand, if you treat those with similar disorders to your own, you have first hand knowledge & are able to genuinely assist somebody else with deeper insight & empathy. On the other, you'd run the risk of projecting your personal experiences & perhaps conclusions onto another. Where's the line? Thank you for the video!

[لمىالشريف-غك]

Thank you Dr. Grande
I highly respect your insight
You put it in such a way, easy to swallow
Once my father refused, that I volunteer because he thought I was too emotional.
I got furious but the way you put it, is much more acceptable.
I kind of know now what the obstacles and challenges are.
I lived through them.
I love how you pointed out to diversity.
Great insight!
Helping others adds so much meaning to ones suffering.
It makes sense of all we went through.
Maybe social work is a better place to be in.
The people that offered me help were people with personality disorders.
I could relate more to them.
They understood the struggle.
But a professional counselor adds more emotional stability.
You feel, they are more accountable because they don't get carried away easily.

[GODWIN]

The best Counselor's are ones who have been there and done that.
Empathy is a hard trait to aquire genuinely.