How to attract the right people by working on yourself

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This channel is for informational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing on this channel is intended to substitute therapy.

The thoughts expressed in videos are my own personal opinion and do not reflect the opinion of any institution I am involved with.

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Time Stamps:
0:00 We attract similar people
2:48 When you’re not where you’d hoped to be in life
4:36 How this looks in the context of dating
6:25 How this looks with friends
9:15 Concrete steps to level up

[sbxtn]

1. List all the traits you desire in the people around you
2. Highlight all the traits you haven't achieved yet
3. Identify the steps you need to take to bridge those gaps (use SMART goals)
4. Put it into action

[zmudav]

“Once you level yourself up and you become the person that you seek around you, That’s when those types of people actually will start to orbit in your life” be the person you want to meet

[Handlebrake]

I'm surprised she puts out all this quality information and analysis for free!

[mmmmdani]

I think it’s also important to keep our goals and the idea of our “higher” or “future” self malleable as well. I spent the better part of last year studying for my LSAT and applying to law school and was waitlisted at almost every school I wanted to get into. But instead of pouting about it, I’m focusing on a plan of moving to a new state and finding a new job with higher pay in my current field that I already have senior-level experience in. I’m proud of myself for being adaptable and putting in the work last year in the first place :-)

[Pomagranite]

Big facts. When you hold yourself at a high value, even if you are aware you are flawed, and you expect better behavior of yourself, you don't accept shitty behavior from others, you prefer to be around others who value themselves, are aware their own flaws as well and when u seek to lift others up without being a doormat, you can recognize others who seek to do the same. Being surrounded by those ppl at 24 is such a gift

[FirehorseG]

When I was in a very good place mentally, emotionally, career & family my life was amazing and everyone around me was high quality. Fast forward 20 years and the opposite is true. Misfortune begets misfortune. I have people around me I'm not happy with at my core. I hate feeling I'm judging them but I know they're all low vibration in lots of different ways. I feel now I'm bankrupt and have CPTSD having been through so much varied l trauma, I only attract wounded people. It's like a mirror of low quality.

[Jeremy_]

Agree completely. My wife watches 90 Day Fiancé and the show is filled with schlubs who beg people to love them, but never take the slightest initiative to be more attractive or intellectually appealing to a potential mate. It's laughable (and sad)

[ramirolucchesi]

red flags are not always something to run away. Its a way to see what makes us feel uncomfortable, and it can be a chance of growth, or to stay the same. Neither is better thatn the other, it just is what it is, but sometimes we see red flags as an opportunity to not change at all

[RxMTB]

This is exactly the process I have been working on for myself the past couple years. You seem like a great person who is very articulate and probably a ton of fun to have deep, quality conversations with! Glad I found you on YT and thanks for your educated input.

[HassanAhmed-mubu]

Making the first move? Double calling? this is either a very common problem, or it is a damn close coincedence because that was my problem until a couple of days. Also a small tip, anyone who have the same problem, do not fantasize about the other person with intent of having love or attention from him/her because it will make you love them in ways that will probably get out of control and have you make that mistake alot..

[ray.deathray]

Oops, this is not the best video to watch while struggling with mental health issues. I worry about my recovery taking so long and possibly becoming a drain on people as time goes on. I try to remind myself that I have value, but then I’m reminded of the ways that value could be pretty low right now. I’ve heard that my worth isn’t defined by my accomplishments and status, but I find it hard to fully adopt that belief, because it totally is. I might be the wrong person to attract right now. I don’t know. I’m going to continue working on myself. I just don’t want to drag anyone down with me while doing so.

This video is better for people who are starting off relatively stable. Networking isn’t a good goal for me on days where I’m trying to just be able to take a shower.

[cindyli]

Knowing who we are is so important. We teach people how to treat us.

[myrtila]

This was a very interesting and useful topic! Everything you said was super insightful and I agree with all. I just want to highlight a little more the part about being compassionate to ourselves. I’ve been in a place of “levelling up” the past 2 years but what I hadn’t realised was that I was super harsh to myself and I never thought of myself as enough. I always had a greater goal, a level up to reach. And this is not a healthy mindset to have. You have value even when you’re not the perfect person you imagined. As ana said in the video, no one is perfect and you’ll never be either. It’s great to want to elevate yourself but also remember to not be to strict about it but rather have fun and show respect to the beautiful being you are.

[sorchx]

This is really helpful because I'm in limbo land now. I left my old friends behind as it was a very unhealthy relationship but haven't managed to make new friends yet as I'm afraid of being hurt again or repeating the same patterns with people.

[lorenzocardenas]

Reality is literal mirror… also make sure you’re specific with what you want because the universe gives you everything you want… if you’re not specific it will give you just that.

Will not further explain.

[violetcamille]

This video came at the most prime time. Ana thank you so much for your emotional intelligence and intellect, love your videos so much.

[admirbarucija]

This is the way to go! It was lonely at times (and still is) while working on myself, but I have the right people around me and love the people in my life

[musicenthusiast]

hi. i think i suffered (have been suffering quite abit) because my friendships were shallow and they always end up shittily for me. sometimes i get shocked seeing people with great friends bc its actually hard for me. after a while i started feeling like im the problem. for me trust is really important, but backbiting is common in my nursing profession and so it is something i have to get used to if i still want to befriend some of these people. however, sometimes it is exhausting. it is rare to find people who can fight/advocate for you when you're not there because the nature of the work that i was in is competitive and bitchy (and also this could also be my warped perception) i hope to improve myself so i can find better people. thank you for this video.

[Pomagranite]

Big facts. When you hold yourself at a high value, even if you are aware you are flawed, and you expect better behavior of yourself, you don't accept shitty behavior from others, you prefer to be around others who value themselves, are aware their own flaws as well and when u seek to lift others up without being a doormat, you can recognize others who seek to do the same for you. These ppl are kind but dont take bullshit. And they often help us grow to be even better versions of ourselves because they will hold us accountable in times we actually need it and in times when we are the arbiters of our own problems. Being surrounded by these ppl in my early 20s is such a gift.

[ericsplittgerber]

Your content is so refreshingly blunt while still being compassionate. I really appreciate what you're doing.