The Simple Secret to Attract Good Men (and how to avoid the bad ones)

It doesn't have to be HARD to attract great guys! Watch this video for a simple shift that will help you draw in the men you're worthy of and filter out the sketchy ones!

How do I attract good men? Why do I always attract manipulators? Why is meeting men so hard?
I get asked questions like these ALL THE TIME by clients, students and women in my life... so I created a video that goes deep into why some traditional dating strategies actually set you up to fail and a great new mindset that will help you be irresistible to the men you want :)

If you want more support in creating the life and love of your dreams, this is how I can help you ❤️ 👇

Let's Stay Connected!

[Singinbluebird]

This advice is if his energy is coming "towards" you alot. If the guy is cold, nonchalant, breadcrumbing, and ghosting you, please do not follow this rule ladies!! Have strong boundaries, and leave is he is not initiating, moving things forward or leaving you hanging. Yes initiate and connect once in a while but only with men that have shown immense level of interest, been consistent, and pursuing. If not, leave. I wish Matt emphasized this more. As Helena says it is space and warmth that draws men in, not leaning forward. Addrienne emphasises feeling statement and fem energy IS leaning back. Many men want to be pursued but those are more beta softer males. If hes masculine and a bit more alpha, he will prefer being the pursued, giver, and initiator. Regardless, leaning back and observing is very feminine. I do not think leaning forward is good, but leaning during the connection is good. ❤❤❤

[TTN]

Oh my GOSH! Haven't finished the video yet but the 1st point about "leaning back" is TRUE! I've always been shy, and preferred "confident" men that approach first -- but all I got were manipulators, narcissists and abusers that ABSOLUTELY did not respect me or my boundaries! :'( that's why i am here

[a.h.]

A couple of weeks ago I took a chance a messaged a guy first and we're already planning our third date this weekend. I'd probably still be frustrated or ready to quit online dating if I had not tried to initiate a conversation with at least one guy.

[KGala-ywlk]

Thanks for covering this “lean back” topic from another perspective! “Leaning back” has been something I struggle with much.

[abbymay]

Every time I have "leaned forward" in a high value way, they mention a wife or a significant other.

[tk_erickson]

Mat you are so right! I was leaning back and only being approached and pursued by aggressive men. I’m taking your advice and it’s working :-) thanks

[winxclubstellamusa]

I audibly gasped when you said that “leaning back” is actually a masculine state of having our heart space closed off and having our walls up. That makes so much sense! Thank you 🙏

[vanessamartinsdesouza]

I DO agree with you. Not always is a good way leaning back, considering men can be scared of rejection and insecure, especially when they have feelings for a woman.And good men can usually feel like that.Bad guys usually not feel insecure, that s the point!What a tragedy.lol

[aijakala]

I am a too shy woman and I have serious hardships texting or even texting back, but I have to admit that whenever I have done that, it has triggered such a wonderful fireworks in the man I love, such a wonderful reward for me by him whenever I lean forward that I agree with Matt in this and all the rest of his videos a million per cent :D- I discovered you, Matt, just a few months ago and I get this energizing, loving validation which is exactly my perception of highest value men - if a woman he loves leans forward first, he will react with wonders due to the confidence he got from that. Even if I texted him the well-known and often condemned as the neediest message that I miss him - he responded: you can't imagine how good it feels to know I am not alone in it! And our love that began the way Matt describes has lasted for years - this is the gold proof for me. I have met those "high-value" leaning forward and climbing barricades men - they evoke nothing else in me but the feeling of having a predator nearby. While the man who gently cherishes my leaning forward and opening up just in my pace and greeting every single nuance of it, I just can't help melting down to the deepest parts of my heart....and soul... and... :) Yep... body. The highest value men don't have the need to pursue women, they are like real knights - the very first in their own manly battles, but when their lady is nearby, they open the door (all the doors) and let her go first. They conquer all the walls in the world EXCEPT the one around their beloved woman - they let her do it if she considers them worth it. This is just my personal perceived difference between the common high-value men who, in the end, usually turn out to value themselves only (this is why all relationship-coaches have to talk so much about those poor beings and women keep dating and dating...) and the highest value men, real men, Matt Schaefer is telling you about.

[SClark]

Wow, I've been leaning back all this time. I have a great sense of humor and I am going to try the lean in technique this coming week and see how it works. I'm gonna ask for help, instructions, etc. I'm really excited to try. Thanks for the video, so informative, looking forward to viewing all of your past videos.

[Musicismylove]

Gosh I think people need to just let go and let things happen instead of over thinking everything and using too many heady strategies. I live by Let Go and Let God and the rest will take care of itself. Maybe that's why I never had a problem meeting men because I've never leaned back ever. I love being grounded in my worth and my values because men can tell I'm someone to be respected. Thank you for another amazing video.

[astrotricia]

45 Single and abstinent for 7 years. I needed to hear this. I was terrified to make the first move looking him up on social media and saying a simple, Hi! That color looked great on you today. But you left early and i could not tell you! I give my clients great advice yet froze on this myself 😂 Waiting on a response, send a little prayer my way.

[hijabimuslimah]

I’m “leaning back “ never send him text or calling him. Pretty much I’m mirroring him.
He calls me every morning before he gets out of his bed (LDR: with 8 hours of time difference, and he’s 20 years younger)and ask me why I never send him a single message (what should I say to answer?)
I just said I don’t want to disturb him in case he is busy or change the topic 🤭

[serenaroseauthentics]

Yes I’ve attracted a player recently by leaning back too much. The sweet guys were intimidated by too much space & backed off.

[GuessJess]

First off, if he “forgets” to contact you, ladies, he’s not that into you. Checking for him makes you look desperate. Leave him alone.
Secondly, relationships are about polarity as far as I can tell. Positive + Negative. Masculine + Feminine. I get that men are nervous about being rejected, they still have to be allowed to make the first move. He will appreciate you more because he made the effort to pursue you and you didn’t follow him too easily. Women have to learn how to flirt and be encouraging and receptive to the men that they like but not take over his role as the initiator. So ladies, if you are looking for a strong, confident, masculine man, go ahead and lean back. If you like weak men that don’t know how to overcome their shyness and project confidence, by all means go ahead and approach him. That’s just my humble opinion. These other dating experts advise women to lean back because of polarity. Two positive magnets will never attract each other. It’s a silly analogy but it makes perfect sense. And I found that out the hard way, so I’m hoping to teach you women not to make the same mistakes I’ve made in dating.

[crystaldance]

You’re so right mat I was out the other day with my son and payed a compliment to a Sainsbury’s delivery man it was playful it made him smile and as we walked home he was driving along and beeped his horn made my day that brief moment thanks mat ❤️😊

[maggiewanjiru]

Hi Matt,
Thank you as always and remember,
You are a great guy besides quality coaching!

[mette]

Now I don´t have much experience with men but I started online dating 3 months ago and more than half the times I´ve been the one who has initiated contact first and I have only gotten positive feedback from it so I love this message Mat<3

[tanhue]

Agreed !!! it attracts the men you want to AVOID! great video

[caryleugene]

Hello Mat
Canadian subscriber here
You are the smartest guy on YouTube 👌
This is a great video