3 Dumb Things People Say to Single Christians

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[Mell_]

I once read that "a spouse isn't a trophy for holiness"

[hotice]

" _When you least expect it, somebody wonderful is going to come into your life_ ..."
😡😡😡
I HATED that one!!!

[RA-pbgl]

The people who got married in their early 20s give the worst advice on singleness… they are more experts on marriage than singleness 😅

[TheLotroNerd]

A huge misconception in the church is that men are the problem and that women should never settle on a guy that is a (project). The issue is we are all a massive project, constantly being worked on. You will always have to settle for a project. What people should look for is are they truly submitting to God and the only way to know if they are is if you are submitting to him yourself. If they are submitting to God then there will be spiritual fruit, and a proclivity towards change and adapting to his calling on their life. If you don't feel that they are submitting read the bible and the holy spirit will show you.

[Djsolaur]

Married people need to be quiet on this issue. They're not single.
They've got someone to come home to
So, It's not for them to say.
It's for God to say.

[tobystamps]

Oh my words don’t get me started about this. I had to wait till I was 45 to get married. Married people, especially Christians, say the worst things to singles. They all were married in their 20s and have no clue what a long term single person goes through. I could list examples but the bottom line is that there really is no compassion for single people. As far as which is more beneficial spiritually I will say this, being married has challenged me in several ways that being single did not. I’m having to mature and face some character issues that my singleness didn’t challenge. Which again, it makes me wonder why God didn’t bring me a wife earlier. I would have been challenged earlier to improve in these areas.

[whitneylivingston]

I’m a single woman, 40 years old, never been in a relationship. When I walk I to church, I do feel judged for it. When you look for a place to serve, the married women in the church are very quick to find a place for you where you won’t be a threat to their relationships (which means the first thing they say is “we need help in the children’s department”). You are left out of many things and it’s hard to get really plugged in. When you struggle with something, they dismiss it for numerous reasons. When you need help, you don’t get any. Widows get help, mothers get help, single women get left out because you’ve always have to had to do it or you Donny have kids you are trying to take care of. It’s not easy being single in the church.

[mollietenpenny]

Usually the ones teaching classes on singles are usually like this:

Mr Jones: "Hello everyone, me and my wife Myrtle are teaching you on blessings of being single. You guys probably know that Myrtle and I have just celebrated our fiftieth wedding anniversary but that shouldn't discourage you. When I was a young man I thought I would never find the woman of my dreams and that I would be single for the rest of my life. And then one day in eighth grade geometry class I saw Myrtle. By the time high school ended we were engaged, by graduation we were married, and by the end of freshman year we were expecting our first child. So I understand what it's like to be single and lonely for a long time."

Random person: "Uh Mr Jones, most of this class ranges from 27 through 35."

[kaileybaca]

I feel like marriage and dating has been SO grossly over spiritualized that we literally have gotten rid of practical dating advice. We use phrases like “I’m waiting on the Lord” or even “I’m just gonna focus on God until my spouse comes” and we miss the fact that we have to participate in the process. We have TO DO SOMETHING!!! We can’t just keep doing the same old thing and expect him or her to magically appear out of thin air. That doesn’t mean we push to get our way, but again we have to participate. And i feel the advice of “it will come so just wait” is what SO many people give when it comes to Christian dating and it’s honestly a lie.

[jaronhopkins]

I got hit with the “We aren’t spiritually compatible” we are both Christians, have followed Jesus our whole lives, known each other for years and both like each other. What does that even mean 😭

[morefiction]

Best thing to say to anyone in any situation, or at least to believe in whatever situation you're in, is that "All things work together for the good of those who love God..."

And don't forget that 'good' doesn't mean pleasant.

[Wimplo]

I am glad my friend recently stood up for me when his wife and other older women in the church were arguing on who to set me up with or to keep me away from and he was like “Dude, just let the man marry who he wants!”

[GregoryJordanStewart]

Good points and I love the approach of saying don't treat marriage as this ultimate fulfiller for your life, but don't feel bad about wanting it either. I'm 25 and I've never been married, had a girlfriend, or kissed a girl and, while I will gladly take someone sent from God, I have zero shame in that. In retrospect, I can see that any opportunities I've had up to this point wouldn't have been good for me. So many people get caught up in trying to do what other people are doing and will let other people get to them. I've had people that will come up to me and ask me if I'm in a relationship and then will think it's their responsibility to give me a bunch of unsolicited advice or talk to me like I'm something broken that needs to be fixed and they are completely oblivious to how condescending they are coming off.

[DuncanSmith]

Young, recently-married Christians consistently give the worst dating advice 😂😂😂

[mariahstokes]

I appreciate this content because there is so much weird and strange dating advice around and this is truly why I believe so many people are single.

[CakesDontLie]

The thing I struggle with most right now is not neccisarily lust, but affection? Like I know the Lord hears me and sees me, but He can’t hold my hand. I know that sounds so silly. Like why feel sad about someone not holding your hand when you’re literally talking to God. But I am missing this.

[silverbullet]

Two out of the three pieces of advice there, when given out of any measure of self reflection, can be useful to a single Christian. The problem is that many married Christians (especially those who got married before their 30's) get the idea that their success in getting married had everything to do with them and not because of God's grace.

[noteself]

My students are the worst about it and they don’t even realize it. They are always asking how I can be older than this other teacher, but he is married with two kids. I also have them ask if I have a boyfriend all the time, and this one time a girl straight up said “she doesn’t have a boyfriend. If she did she would be happier.”

[RachelNichols-writer]

Something I almost never hear others tell Christian singles but comforts me. Only Heaven contains perfect love and happiness. As a Christian you can look forward to that no matter how lonely and disappointing this life below is.
God can use singleness to sanctify too. The end goal is to fit you for Himself. Not a few brief years struggling through this vail of tears with another flawed sinner. Both states can teach valuable lessons and purify.
If you want to marry AND HAVE THE CHANCE go for it. Most of us Christian singles just never had a chance to marry another single Christian. We need to make the best of the life God gave us whether or not we wanted it.

[Rebekah-mf]

Oh my goodness, I was struggling lately and needed this.❤ Like your first point, there is nothing we can do to "deserve".