The TRUTH about living with your (immigrant) parents.

Unfazed with TazzyPhe podcast here:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
snapchat: @tazzyphe
twitter: @tazzyphe
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
my gear:

camera body 1: Canon 80D
canon lenses: Tokina 11-16mm, Canon 50mm 1.4
camera body 2: Panasonic Lumix G7
panasonic lenses: Panasonic Lumix G 25mm f/1.7, Panasonic Lumix G Vario 45-150mm f/4-5.6

If you're in need of some new hijabs, head over to:
and use promo code "TAZZYPHE" or “TAZZYPHE15” to get some $ off of your order.

[rubykeys]

I can relate to this video as a first gen. I do love my parents, but I need to move out to grow and to strengthen my bond with my parents. After moving out, I felt my relationship with my parents become stronger because they see me that I am capable on managing money and taking care of myself. If I were to stay home, then they didn’t see me as being able to take care of myself.

[miseendriste]

I'm an Indian Muslim woman who lived with unreasonably strict parents, so as soon as I got my first big boy job I moved out and lived on my own. I can only summarise my experience as follows.

When you live with your parents, you don't have the freedom to do what you want to do. When you live independently, you don't have the time to do what you want to do.

[jemimajanvier]

I’m a 22 year old college senior who still lives with my Haitian parents. I plan on living at home after I graduate as I am taking a gap year before applying to PA school as I continue to build my portfolio. My 29 year old brother is a software engineer and although he makes significantly more than my parents, he is also still at home. My family and I were separated before we immigrated and I truly feel like this is a blessing that Jesus has give us by allowing us to have more time together ❤

[Balgees]

As 35 single Somali woman, I lived alone for couple years alone. I come from large family ( 7 in total) and always wanted to experience that. Now I moved back with my mom and sis. Me and mother are very close the only problems I have is my mom does not know what boundaries are. I'm someone who likes my space and time.

[stavroulathebest]

In greece its also very usual to live with you parents in your 20s and i definetely pay a mental tax .The extremely few times i have the house without my parents it feels so nice not feeling like i am constantly judged silently.I can do anything my mother would have to do easier just because i dont have her look at me and feel like she will tell me to do it something else because its better.I definitely have repressed anger i cannot resolve.

[behroozshahdaftar]

Can I say as an Iranian-American I can so relate? This is particularly difficult for us immigrants who are only children, and whose parents do not have too many other connections in America. We live with the constant guilt of what our immigrant parents gave up for us, and that guilt makes it very hard to move forward and become more independent. I worry and think about my parents and their needs all the time.

[id_emotion]

I grew up in a very dysfunctional Pakistani household, whilst also facing childhood trauma including bullying, abuse and neglect. My dad passed away in 2012 when I was 16, my brother has cognitive disabilities, and my sister is married and moved to another city, and so at the age of 27 I still have to help manage the household and provide support for my family (physical and emotional), whilst also working, maintaining hobbies, selfcare and friendships. I'd say my mum has religious OCD, but is not willing to seek help. This has manifested in constant criticism of my 'sins', as well as her own self-deprecation. I feel like a child trapped in an adult's body. The pressure is insurmountable. I feel immense pressure to marry, but I am not ready for that yet, and not sure when I will be, due to the abuse and trauma I faced as a child. I want to live my own life independantly, but who will look after my family if I leave?

[snailart]

I'm mixed up but mostly Hispanic. I guess I'm 3rd gen but we've always lived in intergenerational households. Still live with my grandma!! This is pretty normal, don't ever let anyone make you feel bad. You all collectively save money, and help each other with food and chores. It's good for everyone. And you're never alone.

[YasmeenCheM]

I also moved back with my parents after 7 years being away from home for school and work. At first, I stressed myself out trying to find a new job quick, so that I could move out and not be a burden to my parents until they told me that they liked having me at home (because all of my other siblings have moved out for school and work too). It didn't occur to me that they felt lonely and missed their children, so I decided to stay for now. The time I have now is for my parents, and that's okay <3

[piqueny]

The moment all us siblings start making money we had to pay our way for living with our parents.
Yet we were told it’s there House there rules we can’t leave until we marry either
Hardly gave us any social freedom makin us have no social skills introverts and push over in society
We paid with our mental health financial help now half my siblings are suffering with depression not realising how to think outside the parents household

[vikingsruleU]

Just turned 28 recently, and I am in this exact situation. I left my corporate job to pursue my own business, and my dad needs to understand that it takes some time to get the ball rolling. It doesn't help that I am the only one in my family to pursue the creative field. Of course, I could be doing more, but it's hard to be motivated when my family tells me to pursue another career. Also, it is hard for my dad to understand how hard it is to survive in this economy. Our generation and the ones after being put in this hole from the start and expected to climb out of it with ease. I know I will get to where I want to be, but my accomplishments would feel greater if my family supported my career choice. Thank you for posting this video. I needed this so bad.

[ngonigriffith]

I am a 52 year old who still lives with my Panamanian parents. My dad passed away in January 2023. I never had a problem with freedom. My mom is strict, but I know she is that way because she loves me.❤. I will always live at home. I am never married, no children, and I help my 86 year old mother with chores and bills. My parents never kicked us kids out of the house when we turned 18. It was our choice to stay or leave. I am grateful to them, also debt-free.

[justchica]

Im latina and it’s culturally very normal for us to live with our family. I live away from home during the semester but when I came back I was immediately shocked by how poorly I felt l felt at home. And then I remembered why I wanted to go to school out of state to begin with. I agree that living away is very helpful

[agees]

This really resonates with me. I have conservative evangelical homeschool parents and I feel like the only people who can relate are women with immigrant parents. I know exactly what you are describing and it’s so helpful. None of my friends know what it’s like but they have the same mentality as what you experienced.

[SM-gzlr]

I have 5 siblings and am the 2nd oldest. I moved out for work in 2019, but moved back in 2021 to telecommute full time to be closer to family. It’s been a tough transition, being one of the older siblings still at home and feeling the weight of caring for my parents and the household, as well as trying to be there for my 2 younger siblings still at home. It doesn’t help that I’m feeling the pressure to get married (I’m 26), but I don’t want to lose this precious time I have with my parents. Part of me feels like I’ll just never leave, and I constantly miss my little life I cultivated when I moved out.

[GenaLector]

Ukrainian kid here!
I literally told most of my friends that I can't live with my mom and most said - oh, no way, your mom wasn't so bad! - so it's first time I meet people who see things same way I do.

[ChildfreeCatLadyJade]

Omg I came across this video randomly - and YES - as a child of immigrant parents I cannot agree more 😂

I moved out/back in a few times as I kept trying to get away from them. Lol - I now live in a different city to my parents and I actually have a much better relationship with them. The mental tax sounds so so spot on. 👏🏻 I was pressured into academia so much and didn’t naturally posses talent with it - so that was really tough. I’m the black sheep who broke the mould, did all the jobs which were deemed “failure” and moved away from family (unheard of) and now remain child free (even more unheard of!) This video hit different - thank you for sharing.

[silverstarlight]

My boyfriend is 28 and living with his parents. He is white and both his parents are white. He loves living with them. When he visits me, he cooks for me so he's definitely more self-sufficient than I am, since the range of dishes I cook is pretty limited lol.

[tropicalermine]

I’ve lived alone since I was 18 because my mom moved out of the house and I had to keep the bills up. It was bittersweet. I was enduring my moms abuse for years and I was happy she left. Now that time has passed, distance really did make the heart grow fonder. I don’t really love spending large stretches of time with her because she is combative, but I appreciate her soft moments more and I see them more often, too. I guess what I’m trying to say is that not everybody (like me) has parents who treat them super well. Some parents were abusive during childhood and now that their children have left, they finally have time to reflect on their actions and heal themselves. I give my mom a lot of respect for slowly changing over the years, but I know it wouldn’t have happened if we kept clashing for years. I think if I lived in a different dimension with a two-parent household and a sober mother, I would totally want to live with her or my parents. But that was just never my reality. I guess I didn’t really move out, she did, and I just took over the rent, but it was surprisingly one of the best, most unprompted eras of personal growth I’ve ever had.

[Ksahdia]

Same here, my parents didn't allow me to move out before marriage either. When I left that person they chose as my husband, I still wasn't allowed to live alone. My living alone with my little children, was somehow endangering their khandaan ki izzat they yelled, which I still don't understand. It's a strange way of thinking. The social circle of my parents made a huge problem out of my living alone with my children. It caused quite a stir, they treated me like I had committed some horrible crime like murder (by both leaving him and starting to live alone with my children).

In recent years, white Dutch friends of my children were critical of them still living at home with me. My children are in their 20s now and we've been living separately for more than a year. When they were still living with me, they were made to feel like committing a crime too, meanwhile the costs of living alone are expensive and it's very difficult to find a home as a starter in the Netherlands as well. Even when you're not a starter, there are often long waiting lists for a home. I waited 17 years for my current home and I'm not a starter. It's unfair how much pressure is put on the generation of my children to do this and to do that.

I wish people would leave each other alone, they don't know everything about the life and struggles of someone else, yet are quick to criticize and taunt.