The Reality of Asexuality?

--Voicemails discussing asexuality and discrimination.

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[UrbanFury]

This is true. I'm asexual, and I have been for my entire life. I don't mind holding hands, and hugging a person that I really care about, but anything more is nearly traumatizing. From day to day I will tell people that I am heterosexual, because it saves me from a lot of grief and insults. Now I don't try to fit in nearly as much. I don't partake in sexual interactions, and I am living a much happier life.

[startrekgamer]

I'm a Hetero-Romantic Asexual and I got to say, sometimes I am discriminated against, others are confused and think I am sexually attracted to myself (the confusion between Asex reproduction and Asexuality) but for the most part, people don't realize I am not necessarily straight, gay, pan/bi/queer (a matter of the person's preferred name), ect. until I mention an almost total disinterest in sex.

[TheLeetCasualGamer]

So many people confuse the terms of abstinence and asexual. Abstinence of sex is when you simply refuse or loose interest of sex. Asexuality is just another orientation that's rather rare.
It doesn't mean one won't get aroused or wants to be single. It's simply a lack of sexual attraction.
I've experienced it in my life being an ace myself. In my teenage years, when people around me were actively growing a desire for sex, I wasn't. My body was attracted to neither gender for sexual desire.

[LenjaStar]

I do get a lot of grief and shock when I tell people I'm asexual. Never a positive reaction. "You'll change your mind once you have sex" (I'm not a virgin), "You just have a low sex drive", "you should see a doctor", "Your marriage will be poor". Would you say that to someone who is GLBT? I never understood why the other girls were going boy-crazy and I wasn't. I don't feel lust for either men or women. I wish I could find someone who I could be romantic with, but everyone else focuses on sex.

[gaiusgrdn]

So, for instance, if I wanted to start a band based around aggressive power chords on guitars and fast paced 4/4 drum beats, I'd seek out musicians who identifiy as rockers. If I just went around asking any musician, I'd constantly find myself in a position of asking people who are completely disinterested in me.

Also, there's a history of people using these labels to viciously discriminate against them, so they use the identity as a means of fighting back.

[thepokekid]

I realize the hurtful gravity of saying something isn't real for a group of people, or saying that they don't technically belong, but largely I feel like it's normal behavior, and depends on the person, and is still not something they should be ashamed of or feel singled out for or feel like they need to change. Just not everyone wants to have sex all the time, and scale that out to almost infinite time between intercourse, it's okay, it doesn't make you less Straight, Gay, Lesbian, or Bisexual

[Zexidous]

Asexuality is a disinterest in sex, either for personal reasons or just a simple disinterest. But that doesn't mean said person can't still have a relationship or become aroused. I have a couple of friends who are asexual, have been in relationships, and are still technically interested in either / both sexes, just not the act itself.

I personally am moving closer to it for personal reasons. I'm not asexual (more like "demi-sexual"), but that could change in the future.

[gaiusgrdn]

Because people are informed and compelled to act a certain way that doesn't fit with them, so they find an IDENTITY, not a label (Labels are imposed by others, identities are a personal choice), that helps them find like minded people to be around. Why does it matter what gender someone is attracted to? Because they seek a relationship with that gender, and they want to use the simple act of self-categorization to help them.

We're all human beings at the core, but we're also much more.

[NubianTribesman]

what does the triangle mean?
it means- Try this angle.
which come from the old poem "wangle a new dangle"
that comes from a book called "spangle that wrangle."

[SebastienCade]

Ya know, I already specified "Not saying asexual may be hard as it's not a societal norm". Nothing you said falls under discrimination - Just ignorance. I disagree with asexual claiming they're discriminated against, not that they don't don't deal with ignorant people in society.

[pukefairy]

I was wondering when you guys were going to cover this.

Just wanted to say real quick that the the thing about "men over 60 who need to take viagra" doesn't really apply. They CAN go hand in hand under certain circumstances, but impotence and asexuality are not even close to the same thing. Lumping them together is a dismissive (and in some cases harmful) hyperbole.

[spiderlee]

Er... losing sex drive with age and decrease of hormones=/="turning" asexual. Asexual in this context is referring to sexual attraction not sex drive/libido, so that second caller is just so mixed up... Lots of asexual persons have perfectly average libidos...

[SebastienCade]

I really don't enjoy asexuals comparing discrimination of LGBT members as they don't really have to "come out" and their churches don't belittle them, nor their families. I don't know any Christian/religious people arguing against being celibate or without sex. Not to say being asexual may be hard as it's not a societal norm, just don't speak as if you're on the same level as people who have to deal with homosexuality or trans-gender.

[ShadeOnTheUtube]

Louis, What you refer to is not the same as sexual asexuality. It is asexual reproduction (autonomous fertilization). We have a heterosexual reproduction (male inseminates female). And it's not too farfetched to think there could be life forms capable of homosexual reproduction (for example an all female population still capable of non-asexual reproduction).

[CLN]

An upside down triangle generally symbolizes sexuality, and the colors white grey and black are associated with Asexuality.

[THEOZZYFUL]

i have become asexual since about 6 years
it's the best thing that has happened to me
i do think that having had 3 children and feeling the beginning of menopause does play a big part in this
i would love to have a romantic asexual relationship but where would one find a man who is willing to do that?
i am not going to give up my asexuality for a relationship so i have pretty much accepted that i will remain single
i think this is a great topic and i thought i was the only one feeling like this

[Signer]

I really wish that society could just drop the labels and see people as what they are: human beings. Why does it matter what gender someone is attracted to, or their sexual drive?

[tty]

that's not discrimination, that's rape. What would be discrimination is an asexual, who explicitly identifies as such in the open, is turned down for a promotion because he's not involved the sexual conversations in the office or something.

[thepokekid]

I don't know, the whole thing bugs me. I completely understand and get people only ever having romantic feelings, that can be real asexuality, but to say that just because you no longer want sex, or you only want it once in a blue moon, or you were conditioned to hate it is a category of sexual identity feels insulting to those that are stuck as one thing, and says more to me about why can't society just accept that as normal behavior for those conditions? That individuals may differ?

[tty]

I like that this is a topic, I hate when I told a group of friends that I was attracted to women, but I am asexual. ...I think saying you're asexual is probably worse than coming out as gay, because being A- anything, seems to blow people away and they think something is wrong with you.