The Impact of Trauma on Victims of Domestic Violence

For more resources on trauma, visit:
- www.InstituteCCR.org/Roll-Call
- www.ConferenceCAW.org

This video was produced for the Institute for Coordinated Community Response by Sketchology Studios.

[AM-rejy]

Not only do we live with the trauma from the abuse, the police and family court has made us suffer more and more trauma including new abuse from the same person for years 😭

[waltporter]

I grew up in a domestic violence home and I still feel the effects of it from 51 yrs ago. Horrible memories

[MoniqueConnor-jrnp]

I didn’t know this was something other women go through..the triggers, the trauma..the guilt..the depression..thank you for the advice and video

[Wooddweller]

Growing up in a home with DV being normalized and then growing up and becoming the victim of DV with two different abusers ... This is a cycle. I am hoping that so many people are able to get out of this situation. It's hurtful and does so much damage.

[mariahrucker]

It’s been 7 months since I left my ex and some of the emotions still linger 😢. Recently diagnosed with PTSD, Anxiety, and Depression from it. This video helped a lot

[lindaanderson]

Mine was the biggest case in my state, and although I left this man at the first signs of physical violence, it ramped up in a huge way- too much for here, but the system failed my daughter and myself over and over and over. I became disabled from an attack, and the courts made him a victim- my daughter was also hurt badly. He had a history of severe violence that was suppressed again and again- hurt another daughter in a previous marriage that I knew nothing about, as his family kept it silent. The police screwed up, he walked on a technicality- the local sheriffs went to high school with him. The list goes on. And my daughter and I have never had peace, no matter where we went.

[jocelynnowen]

I live in Seattle. The city with more social services than streets. 75% of them are useless. Seattle has one of the best police. There is NO WAY they would sit down with a DV victim like this because they are short handed and they told me the worst calls are DV because the victim will suddenly attack the officer trying to help. DV causes extremely mental illness. I survived because people in my community gave me directions, support, and work. This video makes this look like it’s so civilized. It’s not.

[denisek]

My family doesn’t understand why I stayed with my abusive husband, until I left a year-ago. Abusers “brainwash” their partners. Slowly, you begin to believe the abuse is normal. It doesn’t matter how many friends and family members try convincing you otherwise, a precipice has to occur before the abusee leaves. It took me almost eleven years. What was my precipice? Sadly, watching my puppy being abused by him. Thankfully, we’re both out of the “relationship.”

[cecilialove]

Thank you to the men and women who work in this area.

[XicaD]

This is no joke.. i an working on getting emotionally stronger. I lost eyesight due to domestic violence .
I hope that I can help someone with my experience.

[annrodriguez]

Fearing my husband..still after I left 4 years ago..two black trash bags is all I left with...knowing his potential...my fear is palpable...

[dilciaseecharan]

Thank you for helping me to understand so many things

[blakesbabyx]

Thank you for this video. I really needed this right now

[Stoviecakes]

Our mother was a horrible abuser. She was able to get away with absolute evil due to the lack of accountability society holds women to. It’s truly terrible.

[stephaniesoto]

❤❤ proper training is imperative. Thank you for making this 🙏🏽💜

[aliciasavage]

None of the police officers i encountered ever acted like this, and actually the worst one i encountered was the only woman police officer i encountered. She made me feel so ashamed and stupid.

[RealTalk-mqug]

I am submerged under an ocean of grief.
No air; I cannot, do not: breathe.

I want to die.
I can't bear the pain.


Terror and horror live inside me.
No safe space.
I am raped.

He left me.
And all I see is him and her together;
all over social media.

He raped me.
He raped my soul.

HOW THE FUCK COULD HE DO THIS TO ME? HOW?

HOW DOES HE NOT MISS ME?

HOW COULD HE JUST THROW AWAY OUR CONECCTION?

HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW???

the waves of grief come crushing me. CONSUMING ME!!
leaving me unable to breathe.
drowning in darkness.
one moment I'm okay.
the next I'm in panicked despair.

how could my best friend do this to me?
abandon and betray me, and discard me like garbage?
how? how could he so easily replace me with another?

my heart is shattered; my soul is raped.
rage and grief: torment and torture me, leaving me breathless...

I desperately want to escape
the pain that I'm in:
debilitating paralyzing
all-consuming hyperventilating panic and grief...

His name is Bryan and he raped my soul.
Viciously maliciously brutally violently.
I thought he was my best friend.
He betrayed and abandoned me
and left me alone to die.
Replaced me.
Discarded me.

So...

Now...

I must:

Release all chords, hooks, ties, and attachments
to him specifically, and also generally:
to any person, place, or thing,
on any time continuum,
that is no longer for my highest and best good, and healing...

I release all of these things now, and forevermore,
and I watch them dissolve into the nothingness, from which they came...
Thank you, thank you, thank you
— IT IS DONE! 🙏

And here are 14 gentle and urgent reminders I must always remember:

1. You're ALWAYS exactly where you are supposed to be
2. Self-esteem is measured by you (nobody else gets to decide your worth)
3. Get rid of fear: FOREVER
4. When things are tough, change the way you see things
5. Don't dwell on/in the past (come back to this present moment)
6. It's only temporary (all of it!)
7. You have what it takes
8. You don't need to change
9. Release your need for control
10. Accept. Allow. Breathe. Deep.
11. Remember where you came from
12. Remember that you are not alone (not ever!)
13. Remember who you are
14. What they did/do to you has nothing to do with you

Now I am taking my power back.
Stepping out of the prison.
By remembering:

I am the manifestation of Divine Life.
I call upon my truest highest self
to step forth to (re)claim my power:
as a beautiful manifestation of God!
I affirm peace and comfort and joy and magic and bliss.

AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER:

I am one with the Divine.
I experience, peace, BLISS, love, and joy:
CONSTANTLY AND CONSISTENTLY.
I experience everything as grace AND AS LOVE.
I am at peace. I honor the Divine within me.

[aginggenxer]

Which police station do i call to get police like this? Because in my experience, not one police officer (in the usa) in the last 12 years has been kind to me. I am questioned and reprimanded for having contact (that i didnt initiate) with him. There has been a local warrant for his arrest for 7 months, and another in a different state for 2 years. I get better results calling my local crisis center for help.

[Vixinaful]

LoL "If we are nice to you for ten minutes after you've been battered for 6 years, it'll make all the difference in the world!" Not really how it works and therapy didnt help me. What DID help me break out was a network of friends available through the computer 24/7 and the police officer putting her arm on my hand and telling me after my questioning "You can NEVER see this guy again" That and the receptionist who said "If you continue seeing him, you will sit here beaten black and blue next time" I obeyed them both and never saw him again. He turned out to be a schizophrenic with introverted psychopathy, I'm still afraid of him to this day and he lives across from me.

[johnsexton]

What about women that cause this trauma. For one year I couldn't sleep. I had to start wearing earplugs. My personal stuff was broken and no one could give a crap because I am male.