How to Deal with a Defensive Person Who Won’t Listen, Relationships Made Easy Podcast

How to Deal with a Defensive Person Who Won’t Listen, Relationships Made Easy Podcast with Dr. Abby Medcalf, Episode 178 / Do you have someone in your life who gets defensive and just won’t listen no matter how carefully you approach them? Have you tried all the tools and nothing seems to work? Then you’re in the right place because today I’m going to teach you the research-backed secret to approaching people so they’ll stop being defensive and finally listen to all the wonderful things you’ve got to say!

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#Defensivenes #AbbyMedcalf

[LoneStarStinger]

What I don’t understand is how someone can get so defensive towards someone who they have no emotional connection to. Like a roommate. Does that not suggest they maybe care what the other person thinks at some level? Of so then why would they take things so personally? I agree that the defensiveness comes from basically voicing what they already are aware is some kind of lapse in responsibility. My roommate has this ego defensiveness to the point where we can’t have a single conversation.

[victoriagrow]

Love love love this one!!!! I’d love to see more videos about negative cycles in relationships, cheating, and blame shifting! You’re doing amazing things for everyone! Thanks so much for your enthusiasm and caring heart

[TheRebelCoach]

I’m in a relationship where my partner is always defensive. I can’t ask her diff questions, if I make a statement without facts or an opinion that is take no bearing on my responsibility. When I get angry I need to be mindful and I need to hold back and not speak up. It’s always a focus on why I say what I say or do what I do.

[massages_for_world_peace]

What's your opinion on having "no defensiveness" as a boundary? I have someone who reacts (not responds, but reacts) with defensiveness, attacks, victimhood, gaslighting, etc and the thing that bothers me most is the defensiveness. I was considering telling her that I have a boundary where I won't continue the conversation if I express a feeling or need (using I statements, talking respectfully, etc) and it's met with defensiveness instead of listening. I was wondering what your thoughts are about having that as a boundary and if so, if I should state it out loud or just kinda enforce it quietly? I am digging the advice about being accountable for my delivery, and in my other, healthy relationships I feel we both already talk with mutual interest and love for each other. This person, however, I think I'm at a point where I would be resentful if I continue to put 150% effort in my delivery and my responses which I feel are loving and respectful, but not seeing effort back from them treating me kindly or hearing me out.

[aquastone]

You ramble alot without making your point

[EllaCinder-lhro]

I’m a bit confused.. several times I heard you use sneaky and unconscious as adjectives that seemed to be synonymous or similar; and I’m not sure that is your intention .. these were around types of behavior that confuses the attempts to communicate, often rendering your exchange more harmful than productive. Given the difficulty of accepting someone may be intentionally shutting down all communication, I would appreciate you speaking more clearly to distinguish the circumstances in which being defensive arises between people of good will and :( when it is not — this responses being used with the intention not to communicate.. thank you

[Jess-wkjo]

I have question for you over affairs what affair would mybe .
Is this What my type of affair would be texting and meeting up and holding hands and kissing and hugging and watching films without no no no sex? what type of affair would it be?

1 emotional affair

2 physical affair without no no sex

3 romantic friendship.

4 emotional and physical affair without having no sex.

[MichaelSchaefer]

After over 2 1/2 minutes of not getting to the point I just went to another video.

[makbulpatel]

Bob is fine but you have to try and say it how Mr Bean (Rowan Atkinson) says it.

[abdulshahid]

Just a lot of talk with bo points made

[aquastone]

Tell me HOW to Deal with a defensive person HOW HOW HOW

[peggymcgeary]

Stop bragging and get to your content. We dont have time for you to go on and on. Btw...there is no way to stop narcicisstic defensiveness.