When Should I Tell Them? - Dating With a Chronic Illness

When’s the right time to tell someone you’re dating that you have a chronic illness?

A while ago I asked a bunch of amazing people about their experiences with dating while living with a chronic condition.

This video was supposed to come out a while ago, but my heads been frazzled do it got delayed…a lot lol. Thank you for your patience as usual.

This video will be the first of a few where we ask the questions we’re sometimes too afraid to ask.

Follow all these amazing people

In order of appearance:

@itsbeida

@elissasarah_

@kaitemckenna

@taylormulrich

@kweenphotos

@uninvisiblepod

@romabeez

@georgielharris

FOLLOW YOU LOOK OKAY TO ME

You Look Okay To Me is the online space for chronic illness

[jackiesicilian]

I've definitely held back consistently on dating sites because of my illness. Idk if it'll get better or worse, how can I explain? It's so hard to live my daily life I can't imagine dragging a partner down to my level, it's sad but I feel so alone too.
God bless you 🙏

[mes]

Wow I love this. It made me think about how avoidant I am when it comes to dating with a chronic illness. I’ve realized that I don’t get too close to ppl because of it. And for so many reasons. Thanks for this. This prompted me to create a video regarding this topic.

[BrittanyJheanelle]

The gasp I let out when I saw the title 😭 I don't know why but I thought I was the only person concerned about this kinda thing 🥴

[luluthedoberman]

I straight up tell them on dating apps, from the get go! I let the vulnerability out and sure there are assholes and people who think they know better than you and even feel the need to tell you - But the silver lining is: You will quickly weed out the ones not for you. They will step out sooner than later and that's actually a blessing because it saves you time and energy, effective because you cut to the chase quick. Sometimes radical self acceptance and vulnerability can feel scary but I think it's confidence and vulnerability that is attractive. Remember too, you are not your diagnosis.

[BrittanyJheanelle]

Okay so this made me feel waaay less crazy and weird... can't wait for the next one bub 🥺♥️♥️♥️

[littlebear]

Im very very lucky my boyfriend owns a house or I would be homeless. I cant work. Ive had to burden my family and now him because of my chronic pain. If I didnt have somebody I would be homeless.

[emilyexplosion]

I struggle because I am terminal and approaching the point where my health is likely to diminish dramatically, and I'm not close to anyone. I will have a death doula, but I don't want to go to that appointment alone :(

[KweenPhotos]

it's so interesting how similar our answers are

[LaurenJewel]

thank u soooo much for your video omg i needed this.

[lyfesaquarium]

This was cool just a background music was distracting

[MrDinodb]

So... Don't hate me for this but I met a girl whom is truly sweet... But she has shared me details of her medical troubles regarding her hips and suffering of long covid... Which will probably affect her in the long term... Both have a wish to have children in the future but... with the risk of mortality involved I am so afraid to simply take the leap and be with her and well lose her or ... Watch her suffer in the future and its something I can do nothing about. I am conflicted in my choice here and am worried that I may look bad when I judge someone based on their medical deficiencies... Especially when it comes to children in the future.

[olliviermae]

Earlier rather than later is ideal. If you found someone you want something serious with, I believe it’s important to be upfront and honest otherwise I feel as if you’re being deceitful. You have to ‘hide’ what you’re going through. Depending on how they respond, is what step to take next. If they choose not to stay, then despite the heartache you know early on that they’re not right for you. I have chronic illness and cancer, and so far I haven’t found anyone to volunteer to stick around, however I am not hopeless nor am I fearful of telling anyone. He’s out there. He just hasn’t shown-up yet. 😎🤓

[catsareawesome]

My first boyfriend complained about me not always being able to go out, or having to sit down during events (this was 4 years ago). An example is when we went to a day long plane show (not my thing rather his passion as he's an aircraft engineer), and I needed to sit on the grass after 1 hour of standing, to which he didn't even take notice of, and after a few hours I went into a catering room as it was 38 degrees celsius and I started feeling worse. I stayed there most of the day in pain and awful fatigue, while he watched the planes with his friend, and the next day complained about me 'ruining his day' and that I embarrased him in front of his friend 😔

[mandy]

I met a guy online and didn't tell him about my chronic illness until the first time we met and he called me a liar and said I was hiding things from him and he could never trust me. He got very angrg with me.

[starrdiva]

Thank u...🥲newly single after over a decade...RA, chronic pain, ect plus I’m 48. Had just given up on dating and “burdening” someone with my issues...

[Emily]

such perfect timing for this series considering the article that came out recently <3 thank you!

[jismy]

My girlfriend has been really understanding about my multiple surgeries when I was younger and recently am going through some investigations and also got got diagnosed with CKD but just being honest about how you feel and when everything is too much to someone who will listen can really help.

[heatherhartman]

Hello sweet lady! Thank you for your videos. Sending blessings and love to you! 🙏 🤗

[marielieful]

Love it shared on my social media support groups

[eddddddddie]

loving learning from each other, great idea!