What Is Triangulation In Toxic Parenting?

Triangulation is a complicated phenomenon but something we should consider while discussing toxic parents and unhealthy parenting behaviors.

In this video, I will be discussing triangulation and explain how it negatively influences the parenting relationship.

Sadly, some parents are completely oblivious to patterns of parental alienation. The perpetrator of parental alienation may have absolutely no clue that they are isolating their child or ultimately harming them. Other parents may know exactly what they are doing but lack the empathy needed to feel guilty.

I welcome your questions and comments here.

[Jiho]

That's really helpful thank you🙏💕

[judith]

I honestly just don’t trust anyone anymore . I haven’t been around a healthy person in so long . I try to just stay to myself . But it gets lonely and depressing .

[Nokss_]

For me it's narcissistic mother, older brother and myself. There's never a conversation with all of us together, they have their relationship and my mother still tells me his secrets and never in a positive way. Then I'm pretty sure she does the same with him because of how he has always talked to me and is distance. The NM is the common denominator in all relationships.

It's such a sad situation to be in and I've had to accept that I don't have a family. Very heartbreaking.

[Godlywoman]

I think my family was full of this. Dad would talk about one sibling to another or child would talk to other child about a parent.

[makaylahollywood]

My entire family is like this...unfortunately, the ones whom I trusted are gone or married to a toxic spouse. The fairy tale is over- but, my life is not. My holidays are alone yet safe. The loneliness is mine, part of me, something I soothe in time by seeking healthy friends, experiences, solitude.

[nicky]

My mother does this. She constantly yells at me for random things and says I’m the biggest problem in her life when I know for a fact I’m a good son. Even my 10 year old cousin asked her if she hates me. Her response was that the kid was trying to manipulate her. I just have to accept that she is mentally unwell and I can’t take her seriously.

[Marie-tsrp]

Thanks Tamara! Now it makes sense what my family does to me.

[hopetreecounselling]

This has really helped me - thank you so much for clarifying this for me 🙏🏼

[shereemoors]

Wow. Totally getting what has happened. I'm not playing into it anymore. Best part is I fed into and was almost convinced it was me.

[friend]

My mother took great joy in coming between myself and my father. We did not speak in the last years before his death. Can triangulation occur between a child and parent? I would tell her things in confidence or so I thought, and she would then run to my father to gossip, trying to put me in a bad light. She seemed to really enjoy fanning the flames, so to speak.

[madangel]

I am so THANKFUL THAT YOU USED A Man For your example. Because I know that there are many women who are abused. But this scenario is EXACTLY 1000 PERCENT our situation at the moment with my soon to be ex wife and our wonderful daughter's who are suffering from all of this.

[irme]

Amazing channel, Tamara!

My mother abused me horribly when I was a child. I still forgave her and am in contact with her. My brother was her golden child. Turns out my bro found a psycho wife and totally ignores my mother now. So, my mother calls me the other day to tell me what an a**hole my brother is. I was sleeping and she woke me up, so I was a bit irrascible. So, I told her that my bro behaves this way cause he's a spoilt brat and she was the one to spoil him. That she was giving him cash for drugs and drinks and he spent all his youth in bars while I was a grade A student and I didn't have a pair of shoes.

It was all it took to wake up the Monster in her who has been hidden for the years she used me for supply cause my brother just don't give a damn. Her gaslighting, mental games, silent treatment began again. Why is it so difficult for narcissists to aknowledge their mistakes?

[nivmittal]

Thanks Tamara, I am new in counseling field and this is a great explation I got today.

[truthutoda]

Thank you! Very helpful to me at this time.

[robertabrown]

I had a situation where my daughter's mother-in-law acted like her dog was having a seizure to get her son that is 14 to react (he screamed like someone was dying), he was acting like my 7 year old grandson left chocolate on the floor which caused the dog's seizure (chocolate causes diarrhea, not seizure in dogs). The mother-in-law was crying and Very dramatic saying her son has PTSD which is why he is reacting so extremely to her also extreme behavior. I calmly said "but that isn't a reason to traumatize my grandson " and I tried to remove my grandson to another room to get him away from the drama. The mother-in-law went even more dramatic, crying to my daughter that I said her son is traumatizing my grandson. I never said anything else but that one statement to her. To make a long story shorter, my daughter consoled the mother-in-law and told me to get out of her house. They apologized to my grandson and my daughter for traumatizing them and yelling, but no one has apologized to me. I don't know how you would break down this triangular situation, but it's exhausting and hurtful! I try to walk on eggshells so my grandchildren aren't used against me. I'm commenting about this cause there is no one I can talk to.

[Itstoochima]

What does it mean when my father doesn’t except my younger brother and it creates division me and my brother aren’t close because he’s jelous of me my mom and my dad are divorced and my father doesn’t call my younger brother he doesn’t think he’s his kid. And my brother is always angry, talking to himself. What do I do here? and what is actually my situation called?

[patriciadias]

What can a son/daughter do when there are no rescuers at all, but there are always 3 persecuters during a life time???

[verav]

How interesting that this is whole thing is playing out at a worldly state... like... politics could be seen as a whole dysfunctional family system of triangulation for instance.

[themadcatter]

My parent always goes back and forth between children. And then swears she never talks bad about us to anyone and is only trying to help and defend. It took years to figure out this was going on. Now I know certian siblings do the same actions. I have removed myself.

[KoolT]

A dog that brings a bone to pick, will carry it.