The Thing You Must Do When You Meet Someone You Like (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

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Have you ever met a guy you really liked, and spent weeks terrified you were going to blow it?

You’d analyze with your friends every text he sent. You’d worry when he’d go silent for several hours, constantly checking your phone, looking for signs of hope.

Suddenly, you become a person you weren’t before: needy, anxious, possessive – and you could feel that energy making you more and more helpless.

I know what this is like, and trust me: if you ever want to keep a great relationship and not play games, you need to get out of this mindset fast.

Here’s how you change it...

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[Casper_Cassie]

I finally had this breakthrough. I was always the person who was a ball of anxiety when I like someone. After doing a lot of work on myself, I'm now in this place where I am unshakable. I have a huge crush on someone right now, but no matter what happens or how he acts, I feel amazing because I know that if this doesn't work out, I still have myself and I have always pulled through when things got rough. It's so liberating.

[carolloraine]

Relationships can come and go but the relationship I have with myself is the most important!😁💖

[kayystaff]

I'm never "looking for love." I'm looking for a good time, whether that lasts one day or it lasts forever. And this goes for every aspect of my life, not just dating. Stop worrying about what could go wrong. Focus on what could go right! It's all about your mindset!

[deprofundis]

Summary for future reference: We have to be most prepared to let go when the stakes are the highest, when we realize this person means the world to us and start to fear losing them. Instead, we must have the strength and confidence to encourage space and not try to control them. And it comes from having a fulfilling life OUTSIDE of that person. You have a world of your own and a center of gravity that lives within you so that you won't be so rocked by losing them.

[emiliabolsas]

Spot on. Brene Brown says that the #1 casualty of a scarcity mindset is vulnerability. We’re not letting ourselves be in the moment, embrace spontaneity or “weirdness.” Risk aversion = the lack of confidence you speak of here.
Take us down the path, Matthew. 🏇🏽

[charlesbrown]

Never make a decision out of frustration or desperation.

[paulaa.]

All our lives we are taught to care about others. It took me 2 decades to realize that I need to put myself first and not feel guilty about it. We need to build up on our skills, confidence, charisma, accept who we are from every point of view and find happiness on our own through self care. Once I reached that place of happiness, everything else came along. People come and go, jobs come and go, friends come and go, nothing is permanent. But if you find your own center of gravity, others will pull towards it. Optimism is priceless. And as Mathew says: don't lower your standards. Those standards will become your biggest attraction points.

[michellelockett]

In a great relationship you encourage each other to be the best version of themselves. Suppressing the person you love comes from your own insecurities.

[bennysmiley]

When you thought church was over, but Matthew came through 🙌🏾

[valeriesiraj]

I recently met someone, but I’ve got a couple friends who are telling me do power play games with him to test him to see if he really wants to get to know me. I told these couple of friends that playing games is not what I do. I’ve set boundaries with them & they no longer talk to me. I’m not even sorry that they don’t talk with me.

[cherrylane]

When you've had bad experiences in the past, you don't expect anything good to happen to you, or if it would happen, you don't expect it to last. Some people stop dating completely, being afraid they'll just be abused again.

[alidatassone]

Hey Matt, totally agree. i think scarcity mindset is a consequence of a lack of confidence in ourselves. And before we can even address that, we need to address this lack of core confidence.
Ironically, when we find that thing within us that fills us up, we stop looking for that other person outside of us and that’s when we can let go of wanting to control everything and everyone.
I’m very happy to say that I’ve found that thing, deep within me, that I thought I never had because it was riddled with bad memories and negative associations but I’ve let go of those and started from scratch and it now fills me up every day.
I used to play the piano when I was a child, my parents insisted, and pushed and pushed me... and the first opportunity I had, I stopped. And recently I decided to start again for myself and I have never been so happy! I listen to a lot more music and also go to gigs and my life has changed completely.

[charlenemaeder]

Does anyone else want Matthew to talk about the opposite issue of having trouble even finding someone that you’re excited about and feel chemistry and compatibility with? 👍🏻 if you do!

[worldenoughandtime]

It's so important to love yourself first. Be totally confident with just yourself and make yourself the priority, then you'll see that you can be strong and happy to let people go cause you see what you're worth. And if they're good for you, you'll become a team and thrive for both of your goals together, without fear and with a lot of trust into each other.

[SheIsWave]

"It's precisely when the stakes are the highest that we have to be prepared to let go"

[carolb]

Be honest with yourself where you are.
YOU decide - powerful.

[PassionGodAlways]

A "scarcity mindset' is NEVER good in ANY aspect of our lives! THANK YOU for addressing this!
I ❤️ how your advice is SOOOO HELPFUL with not just romantic relationships! 😃😀

[jackie]

I just experienced this- met the most amazing guy I was actually afraid to lose. We kept things really solid, didn't see each other all the time, sometimes just once or twice a week but I always felt confident with him and our relationship.. until nearer towards the end, then he broke up with me. I really miss him and I do have moments I feel "scarcity" but I'm trying not to and to stay positive that even better men exist!

[weirdoscherich]

We must love in such a way that the other person feels free!

[humphreyrobinson]

i think if youre blessed with a chance to know someone then you should savor it..if it doesnt last..then its not a bad thing..good things are all around you.