Why Women Aren’t Attracted To Nice Guys

[monikadeinbeck]

women need to feel safe in a relationship. for this they need a man tough enough to protect them AND gentle enough to control himself. you can see these traits often in martial artists. they know how to protect themselves, so they are relaxed even in tough situations. this is very attractive.

[usaf]

Big difference between being a nice guy and being a good man. Nice guys lack a spine and capitulate too often. Good men know when to stand up to the world, are comfortable with their dark side; but choose to be good to others.

[kathleendinsmore]

I have known some men who are compassionate but made of pretty stern stuff. They don’t let anyone take advantage of them or of the people they care about. Kindness is a virtue tempered by the ability to stand strong.

[golo]

Lol. All the guys commenting about what they think women want. “Nice guys” are usually just assholes who act like victims, and guilt trip women about nobody wanting to date them.

[ritasjourney]

I think women like assertiveness and a certain kind of charm in a man and sometimes this can be missing in what we think of as a nice guy.

[rah]

I don’t understand why nice is somehow synonymous with not having a backbone. You can be nice and stand up for yourself and stand up for the people you love ❤️

[🈶]

Nice guys can stand up for themselves and their loved ones while still being kind. It's all about finding a balance between being too nice and being assertive.

[melenico]

The nice guy basically wants something in return. Look, I did this for you. Basically, you owe me now. The kind guy will do it, not expecting anything in return. Just my perspective.

[Stardust_Tarot]

I don't like nice guys. I like KIND guys. Nice means agreeable.

[alphamorion]

Most men that nowadays are "nice guys" or worst self identify as that, also usually hide a much darker side wich is basically based on pure manipulation.

I sadly admit that I used to be part of this group, and felt this awful sense of victimhood when I would do "nice things" for women I was attracted to, but never felt like they were reciprocating me.

It took a good amount of effort to confront the sadder realities of my own psyche, face what was going on within my sense of victimhood that was leading to a frightening fine line with straight up resentfulness. It was a painful process, to identify the fact that I was not being, in fact, kind. That even though I was behaving in a seemingly "good" way in my subconscious were hiding much darker and self centered processess.

Guys, be careful. When you start entering the "Why nobody likes me? I try to do everything the right way but yet still it seems that nobody likes me in the way that I would like them to like me!" is probably a good time to start digging deep within yourselves and confront the ugly truths you may not wanna know about yourself.

Be also careful to not go the polar opposite, and lash out to women in general: that is also a sadly too common pattern.

[John-Jacob-Smith]

Thing is the traits women find desirable in men are often commonly found in undesirable men.

[nikiepunt]

A guy that claims he is nice usually is not nice at all.
A guy that is harmless-nice usually hides behind being nice.. which comes across as fearfull.

[xeropunt]

don’t be ‘men’
don’t be ‘women’
see who you are. what’s your priority requirement? worldly & financial safety? or peace love health & wisdom?

The danger of this repeated preference is it can turn into a fashion & not a function, when spread to young or weak minds.

I can just see a teenage girl considering a boy isn’t good enough for her only because he’s nice & that’s not trendy - so she’ll endure pain of loss & mistreatment to be hip/cool/with the times, because the grown women she looks up to, say “avoid nice”.

What’s the *boy* to do, when faced with this nonsense?

How about women stop living in imagined or peer molded & pushed worlds & see who makes her truly happy & her children as an extension. not what others think should make her happy. wgad? 😂

cause that will fail her, when she as an individual, has to deal with that person, society (who truly has no deep care for you, they just don’t want you to starve or die) just told her she should want.

how do people bond? they just like spending time together & have a liking for normalcy. not reinventing mankind lol. life is simple.

[wgfodxh]

Not me .. I don’t like mean people a man or woman

[TheMediumChannel]

Truth, it likely comes down to genetics and programming, men hunted, protected the villages etc. and that kept their communities safe so women subconsciously will not feel safe with a man who's too nice, men need to have an edge in a sense and be a bit more badass for the woman to feel safe

[vdl]

Give "nice" men some acceptance and reassurance instead of bashing them. You will quickly see them becoming strong and assertive like anyone else.

[Sk-nbyl]

I agree 💯. Most of the “nice guys” are spineless and cannot step up in a some kind of problem. If a woman feels threatened in a situation the nice guy is mostly focussed on pleasing everyone and cannot protect her. These traits make a “nice “ guy immediately repulsive

[aaronromano]

Being harmless and being nice are two completely different things most "nice guys" are just harmless

[MerceditaMallari]

Women needs to feel safe ND secured with the guy she chose to be with, but of course we don't like assholes but somehow it helps to add masculine traits if he is with kindness ND witty that makes other ppl respects him

[NatGKW]

I'd say that sometimes those "nice guys" may want to be so nice to others, or they may want to be such peaceful warriors that they avoid confrontation when there's a need to fight for sth and it just doesn't make me feel safe with them. That's just my personal perspective.