Before You Give Up, Watch THIS | Mel Robbins

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Thinking of giving up? Not today. Instead of thinking game over, think game on. Put a 🚀in the comments if you're not going to give up!

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Looking for my books on Amazon? Here they are!

[yoichihiruma]

YouTube algorithm is getting better they know I need this video

[InnerVisionStudios]

Whoever is reading this and have made countless mistakes and setbacks... Keep going, don't stop. Learn from your mistakes and keep moving towards your goals.

[MarkAlanEffinger]

"No one, is coming to save you." Amen, Sister!

[leejay]

This is what I needed to hear: 'no one is coming to do the work for you!'

[chumpalounka]

New levels never come without hard battles.

[LazyIRanch]

My dreams were pretty much beaten out of me by my narcissistic ex, but I still have a spark left. Thank you for fanning the flame. I'm down, but I'm not out.

[gooch]

Dear Mel,
Not sure how to start writing this since I’ve never written to anyone I didn’t know about something personal but here goes…
My name is Paul. I’m 49 and I live in Vancouver, BC Canada. I’m once married, once divorced, and have 2 amazing kids who are 22 and 20.
I’m at a weird place in life for a number of reasons, so I bought and listened to your book “Take Control of Your Life” and it was amazing. I had previously read “The 5 Second Rule” so I expected this book to be good.
What I didn’t expect was to find myself crying so much because I was suffering from many of the issues you identified in your sessions, and that I had spent virtually my entire life repressing and downplaying the abuse and abandonment that I experienced as a child.
All my life I never gave a second thought to why I would get scared and react like a jerk when I got scared of getting hurt emotionally, or being betrayed, or left.
In your fifth session with Cassandra, it hit my like a ton of bricks and I couldn’t stop crying because I knew it was true, and that I had pushed it down and ignored it for so long that it was just a part of who I was (being in denial).
I grew up in Santiago, Chile. I don’t remember much, but I do remember living in a nice apartment for the first while that my father bought. I also remember having a happy childhood, and that I was a happy friendly kid.
My father wasn’t around much (I found out later my parents were already separated when my mother got pregnant). When I did see my father, he would usually be with a different girl, which at the time I thought was normal, plus they brought me presents which was great.
I was raised by nannies (common in South America) because my mom worked. The first nanny was wonderful and loving. The second one was mean.
I don’t remember much about my mom or our interactions. I do have snapshot memories of her and I and one of her friends out in the middle of the night sitting in a dark car spying into a house my mom thought my dad was in. I also remember her hitting me, and calling me things like “useless” and “stupid” but I never thought much about that.
When I wasn’t with nannies, I spent all my time with a family that lived in the same complex. They were wonderful and loved me very much. Two parents, and their three kids in their early 20's. The youngest daughter specifically was like a surrogate mother to me.
This was my life until one day my father came home to the apartment, grabbed some things, told me he was going to the store and left. I didn’t see him again until I was 14 because apparently he meant the store in Spain, with another woman.
I don’t remember much after that, except that we moved in with my mother’s father in a very poor part of Chile, so it was a drastic change in the environment.
As an adult, my mother told me that after my father left she was a mess, but I don’t recall much of that because I don’t think I saw her much. My entire life, I’ve always said that my dad leaving didn’t impact me at all. I mean it wasn’t like we were super close, and not everyone is meant to be a parent after all. That is, until I listened to your book.
In any event, at some point soon thereafter, my step-father (who was already living in Canada) came down to Chile. He courted my mother for a while, then all of a sudden we were moving to Canada.
I didn’t know why, or what was happening really, but I remember vividly saying my last goodbyes to the family that were my surrogate family in the apartment we lived in initially. I was 6 years old, and even in saying goodbye to them I didn’t really understand what was going on. Until the youngest girl, the one who was like a mom to me, came up to me to say good bye. I don’t remember what she said, but I remember how tightly she hugged me, and for how long she held me. And it was at that moment, as she hugged me tight, that I realized that I was never going to see these people again. And it hit me that I was saying goodbye to them forever.
That memory has never left me.
It changed me because I stopped being a happy friendly child and became distant, quiet, closed off and detached.
We initially moved in with my step father and his dad into a very tiny tiny house. I didn’t speak a word of English, so I was put into an ESL school. But I must have complained that the other kids were mean because my mother took me out of that school, and I ended up learning English from watching cartoons...
I also remember my stepdads dad didn’t like me and was really mean to me as well. And I remember how much that hurt me, and how I couldn’t figure out why he didn’t like me.
Anyway, fast forward to moving to our first official “big” house with an upstairs and a downstairs some time later. This is when my mother’s behaviour’s really started to get worse. My step-father was all but a saint, but she was horrible to him. She continued being extremely verbally abusive to me, but that never bothered me. What always bothered me was how shitty she was to him. She would yell at him, criticize him, bark at him, just really shit all over him pretty much constantly.
Her name calling towards me continued all through my life. Even to this day.
I also remember drinking from a baby bottle until I was 10. Yup, that’s right. Milk from a baby bottle like a baby until I was 10. At that point I was so embarrassed and tired of hiding it, that I just stopped.
Anyway, I share all of this with you because it took your book, and in particular your fifth session with Cassandra in your book, to make me realize that I lived with a really verbally abusive mother, and that I had been suffering with abandonment issues from my father leaving, my entire life. I also know the impact that leaving my surrogate family in Chile had, but I don’t know what that would be classified as.
And so, listening to your book, usually while driving, but sometimes at work, I would start to cry. Uncontrollably. Because the things you were saying in your session with Cassandra were applicable to me, and it took me until your book, at the young age of 49 to even realize it.
I literally just finished your book today, and while I’ve never written to anyone I don’t know, I felt I had to wrote to you because you and your book helped me realize that my body predicts my shitty behaviour, and that if I recognize what my body is feeling before I react, I can change my responses and behaviours. It also made me face the reality that I had been verbally abused, had been abandoned, and went through some pretty heavy emotional shit.
I won’t get into what my life has been like since I was a kid, and there’s a lot of other stuff I left out, but suffice to say your book helped me see some things, and that I should probably see a therapist.
So thank you. Truly. Your book has definitely helped me, and so have you.
Warmest of regards,
Paul

[andrewm]

This is exactly what i needed to hear! I dont like giving up but its hard when you fail and fail and fail again...i keep picking myself up but seem to keep falling right when i think im getting somewhere. But i keep going! Gotta keep going...

[InnerVisionStudios]

Put in the work, be patient and consistent and the results will come. Thanks for this video Mel!

[randolpascano]

Wow what a great timing. I'm hesistant to go to gym today, but now I'm inspired. I don't care about what people think or if they'll look at me weird. I'm doing this for myself, not for them.

[katyfauri]

"Your dreams, they don't expire" 🔥
gosh. Thank you, Mel. My dream is waiting for me.

[kpec]

I am a musician in the struggle myself. I thank Mel for her inspiration. Also, I've noticed the people who comment have good insight too, so I thank you guys, and therefore, tomorrow, just like every day for some time now, I will continue to fight, to work, to try, relentlessly. And, what's weird is that I love it, honestly....

[steveterribile]

You get tired after a while with trying and being pushed back and standing up strong and tall and being pushed back thanks for the motivation

[PilatesbyGina]

Mel is hands down the top motivational teacher bc SHE USES WHAT SHE TEACHES!

[gillian]

Me having a mental breakdown because I am doing an assignment for 8 hours straight and i haven’t even finished my research yet, thinking I should just give up this assignment and fail the course, planning to retake it next year until I see this video…
Yes I’ve been putting a lot effort in this, well I should keep doing it I believe I can
Thx really A LOT!!!!

[mahamo]

Your dreams never expire, you got to wake up every day and renew them 😊🙏💚✨

[Emotive_Background_Music]

Very unlikely you will read this, but you made me cry. Thank you

[McNallyM]

This was great really needed it today!!!👍🏻

[rooworm]

My dreams are gone. They are not coming back ever. I just have to accept it and live out the remainder of my life.

[StephaniePerry]

This was perfect timing. I'm feeling really frustrated today and talking to myself in a way I'd never let anybody else talk to me because I feel like I'm going backwards. But Mel's right, my dreams don't have an expiration date. And every thing I HAVE had success with came from me continuing to show up, even during the frustrating times. So I'm going to speak life into my business and get back to work. ✨✨ Thank you Mel. 💗