Mirror Eye Gazing & Fear (Meeting Your Mirror)

Have you ever looked into your own eyes for so long things started to get a little weird? Ever looked deeply into someone else's eyes and feel like you saw through to the core of them? The eyes are called the windows to the soul for a reason. We can journey deep within ourselves and others through our eyes. On this journey we will meet walls, all kinds of them, ones that need patience, ones that are scary, ones that look like different people, different lives, and different aspects of ourselves or pieces of our consciousness and psyche. What I discovered in doing mirror eye gazing were two things: Eventually you will hit something that makes you want to look away, something that scares you. I realized that what I was afraid of, wasn't something scary, it was the recognition of fear itself. I was reading the fear in my own face. Seeing that fear, made me feel there was something to be afraid of. Think of a wild animal that is cornered, it looks scary but the truth is it's fearful. Things that scare us in the external are reflections of disowned selves, and reflections of what we are disconnected from. Imagine someone who is big and bad, you might be scared of them, but what you may not realize, is your fear is actually a reflection of the fear they feel themselves. Your fear is the reflection of their fear. The lesson? Things that are scary are often scared.

Fear is the opposite of love, it is disconnection. Undoubtedly we are all disconnected from parts of ourselves and this life is a coming home. That disconnection feels scary, it feels like, who is that, who is making choices in my life? After-all it is often our "selves" that make choices for us, as much of our lives are run on autopilot. This recognition of "selves" carrying me through my life conscious or not, was a little scary. It felt like it was something else, but it's only because I wasn't connected to that part of myself. This time, I didn't look away, ever, I kept expanding my heart, and saying "my consciousness can hold this" "I can hold this", and I can, I did, and I will continue to.

When you back a wild animal into a corner they will hurt you, because they are afraid. People are the same. That fear is separation, but what I wasn’t realizing is that when you look someone, including yourself in the eyes, and you see something you are afraid of, what you are seeing is fear manifest, not necessarily something actually “scary”. Let’s say it’s someone else we are looking at, we see something we feel we should be afraid of, maybe this is a signal to get out of here and get to safety, but we have to recognize that in order for someone to project themselves as scary they must first be scared. When you look a little deeper, you will see that what you are responding to is their fear. It’s like the saying “hurt people hurt people”, “scared people, scare people.” Fearful internal parts reflect our own separation back to us. I recognized that it wasn’t a scary thing inside of myself I was responding to in fear, it was the look of fear on my own face that caused me to think there was something to be afraid of. It’s like when you’re walking in the woods with a friend and they suddenly stop, your fear comes as a response to their fear, it alerts you that something could be wrong. Essentially, the fear I felt as a result of looking into my own eyes for a long time, wasn’t because I found something worth being afraid of, it’s because I found fear itself, I found separation, I found where I had lost myself.

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Rowan Garlow is a private practice trauma recovery practitioner. She sees clients 1:1 and in group settings for masterclasses and workshops. Click the website link below to see previous class recordings, meditations and explore options for 1:1 support.

Rowan Garlow assists with symptoms of biological, psychological, emotional and spiritual disharmony caused by trauma and PTSD/CPTSD. She is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Voice Dialogue Facilitator (Parts Work) and Certified Completion Process Practitioner. Her focus in on trauma recovery and thriving after trauma, nervous system regulation and embodiment, re-parenting, healthy individuation and healing developmental trauma, developing healthy relationship with self and others, safety and authenticity, integration of the mind, body and spirit, creative expression, spiritual development and initiation, alchemy - transformation and energetic death and rebirth, mysticism, psychic self defense & education and assisting others in uncovering and embodying their original blueprint and essence.

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[Stoner]

A wise old man once told me in the mirror,
"Some believe what they want to believe, others believe what they are told to believe, but the wise believe what they see before them".
I argued with him that not everything we see may be reality, it could be just our own perception.
Then I realised I had smoked way too much weed and was talking with my own reflection

[siennateel]

I was just thinking about this like a couple weeks ago lol. You know youre doing better in life when you can actually look in the mirror and recognize yourself, feel confident, smile and it actually feels real, etc.

[itsgiving]

I am proud of you, while watching this video I sensed fear of myself. This takes bravery.

[chelsea_cora]

Thank you for your vulnerability! Love seeing important content like this!!

[mfranz]

I tried this for about an hour last night (and on several brief occasions before seeing your video). Yes, the fear can be shocking. Surprising how quickly that fear can subside once you decide to hold it. And when that part of you knows that you're there no matter what, gaze softens into tears. Like, finally someone is sitting with and seeing me.

We all have different types of walls as you pointed out. I saw in myself not a "corpse wall" per se it wasn't ugly or frightening, more like a "playing dead" wall or in worst case scenario a "freshly dead" dissociative look. I was going to DM you for your thoughts but figured others might come up against similar walls and need advice to deal with them.

[messengers]

Powerful and thought-provoking video. Thank you.

[aldousbrawndo]

I just searched " looking into your own eyes in the mirror meditation" and this is the first video I watched I almost clicked away because of the intro music LOL but I'm very glad I didn't. stepping into the coffee shop now but I'm going to finish this video when I get back

[critter_paws]

I haven't done this in a while but I just had a realization and don't have a journal near so .. comment section journaling :)
I think I actually do love myself. I'm on this healing journey and feeling so stuck and alone but when I have mirror gazed and when I go inward, there is love and acceptance. I think I just learned that others don't find it acceptable for me to care for myself.
I am my family scapegoat (many here are I believe 👋) and any time I have shown any confidence or shared a passion, it has been stomped on (literally sometimes).
I haven't cared for my physical health. I need to get to a dentist. I tested too high to ever get removed from AP classes even though I didn't do the work, but i surround myself with ppl who think I'm far below them. My family certainly thinks, Acts and gossips as though that is the case although they care to learn nothing and instead numb out and point fingers.

Anyway, I've heard that it isn't about learning to love, it's about removing the barriers to love and I think I just embodied that wisdom.

I appreciate your content Rowan. Maybe when I allow myself abundance, I'll see if we can work together, I think it would be very beneficial for me ❤

[PibeShort]

This was strangely helpful, thank you.

[tuckerreda]

Very refreshing to hear spiel about this that didn't name drop Nietzsche. Bravo.

[freedomofsoundexpressionc]

You are in no way that thing you see in the reflection please keep that in mind the next time you think about this

[bogdan]

I did mirror third eye gazing few years ago and my find was that, what it seemed shadows passed through my head in the reflection in the mirror, until my head dissapeared, it was transparent blank, as if I had no head. :)

[softspokensociety]

I find that after all these mirror-gazing techniques, that I actually fear the body in the mirror reaching out and grabbing me. So I have this mirror in my bathroom above the sink. At night—these fears always happen at night—when I go to wash my hands with the light off, my peripheral vision catches my body movement in the mirror and it scares me, I’m really frightened to see my eyes through it. What should I do? How should I think about it?