The Dark History of Mental Health: BPD #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #cptsd #trauma #bpd

Jaime, Licensed Therapist dives into the history and perceptions around Borderline Personality Disorder.

Book referenced: Trauma and Roc Rey by Judith Herman

#cptsd #trauma #therapy #toxic #mentalhealth #healing #therapist #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd

[krazyworld]

I have BPD. I choose to not tell ppl. The only ppl who know r my immediate family. I made the mistake of telling a "friend" once and they looked at me visibly scared and said "boy I better never mess with u huh. Ur crazy". After that they stopped talking to me.
Ppl forget that there ARE suscceful ppl who can function with BPD.

[Shortstacksandticktacks]

I need to understand how these professionals can describe a personality disorder that revolves around, "fear of abandonment", and somehow they know that it is distinct from childhood post traumatic stress from being abandoned, neglected, and abused by parents or caregivers. People cant even remember being an infant and thats where a lot of abandonment occurs. "The baby need to learn to soothe himself or grow up clingy."

[jnl]

Well i didn't know any of that when I was diagnosed. My well-intentioned, kind hearted therapist followed the treatment protocol EXACTLY which was consistently building up my trust in myself, encouraginging me, and validating me. Changed my life! It didn't actually matter why I was diagnosed, because she never viewed it as an insult, she viewed it as an unmet need and she tried to fill the gap for me during the short time i saw her. What an angel.

[hyperionsolomon]

I believe many people with BPD have a darn good soul, and understanding that inner child is pivotal to understanding the human being that lies beneath the stigma; once one REALLY gets to know them, its heartbreaking. They are hurting so much. Sometimes it's difficult to discern BPD in contrast to NPD, or narcassistic traits, which is terrifying and prevelant. I believe the comorbid manifestation or specific traits from childhood adaptation is why some people fear BPD so much. It is traumatizing to be with someone like this (untreated). This is why it's critical for those with this to seek treatment and follow through with it. They're human beings who are struggling immensely and the stigma makes recovery very difficult and it hurts them. It creates shame and it is not okay, which perpetuates the cycle of several things like THERAPY. It's an unfair cycle. It's OVERGENERALIZATION.

[mollyprysunka]

I called someone I really disliked and couldn’t get along with “borderline” when I was venting to my friend. She was really gracious about everything, but she let me know that she had received a BPD diagnosis and that the disorder really did not equate to just being an asshole. And she was so sweet about it, I felt terrible. It’s so important to remember how there are a real group of people that have to live with that label, and so many of them are wonderful people. I’m very blessed to have a friend that handled and forgave my rudeness with so much grace.

[sammienope]

Got drug-seeking and malingering put on my record when I went in for seizure-like activity...
I've been literally HAUNTED by those words on my documents and still haven't been accepted by disability.

[TheAmazingfulOne]

Literally last month I called out a psych doc for her BS and she replied " well it sound like you have borderline personality disorder because you always need to be right!" I hope she retires soon cause no one needs that dated harmful BS coming from a professional

[allysmith]

Please talk about BPD more. My therapist briefly mentioned a "possibility" to me, told my parents I had it behind closed doors (which- I do not necessarily trust my parents are telling the truth here), and promptly dropped me as a patient. No referrals, no resources. Just a diagnosis that I'm not even sure I have that still managed to haunt me every single day. You have compassion, and you're a good person.

Thank you to everyone in the comments being so kind, too. It helps, just a little.

[Beckiea]

I have bpd and the thing I value most of myself is my love and compassion for others. I’m a care taker at heart even if I am a lot to deal with ❤

[QueenCheese]

I hate when my co worker's at the psych hospital i work at think its okay to ignore patients because "they're borderline". No. They are a whole PERSON, diagnosed, potentially inaccurately, with BPD, and ignoring them is not the answer. Professionally structuring how you interact with them, (i.e. reminding them of their methods of regulation or simply giving them the space to talk things thru with you) is how you provide a therapeutic approach to their "attention seeking behaviors". Drives me batty the way I see a lot of professionals handle that diagnosis in the field 😒

[RaziTobias]

I just got my neuropsych testing recently and BPD came back as my diagnosis. Made sure I talked through their reasoning in a follow.up.visit before I accepted it in part bc I knew the stigma around BPD and how often it is a misdiagnosis for later diagnosed autism in women. I was grateful to learn the supervising Dr specializes in BPD, and after discussing things more agreed with the diagnosis. I have DID too so I'm used to doctors and psychs having extreme or negative reactions to me.already, figured adding BPD to the list couldn't make things any worse than they already are. I'm excited to start new therapies soon, and to have a treatment team that doesn't just go, "Oh but you're so self aware, I don't know how else to help you".

[darkflamemaster]

Could you talk more about BPD? I had a therapist that once told me that I most likely had BPD along with Paranoia Personality Disorder. He never gave me an actual diagnosis nor did he talk to me about how to cope with it.

[Kayla-krtb]

Yay!!!! Finally! Someone pointing out some super useful ideas from Judith Herman!! That book made such a huge difference for me in my trauma recovery after escaping a bad relationship and then experiencing rape. It helped me understand my reactions to everyday life stuff that had never been a problem before and calmed me by contextualizing some stuff that I’d not had to think about before I lived in a state of trauma. I’m doing better now - years later but I don’t know if that would be so true if not for that book.

[dianaw]

I have bpd and I'm not ashamed admitting that. I think there's a lot of harmful stereotypes around this disorder and that's why I'm honest about it with people (which has lead to people using it to hurt me, but I've learned how to protect myself from those kinds of people. It's also lead to a lot of people being like "no way me too" and I have this in common with some of my closest friends).
While I'm aware I have exhibited these traits at times in my life, it's never been intentional and always been to protect myself from rejection and pain.

For me, I grew up with trauma and a mum who I'm almost certain also has this disorder, too. It wasn't until I was being treated for it that I realised I was even behaving in these ways.

I spent half my teens in and out of psych wards due to this. I've also done extensive therapy to learn to manage my symptoms and deal with traumas.
With all this work, I'm now able to realise when I'm acting in a toxic way, own up to it and apologise to whoever it was aimed at. When I communicate in these ways. I'm also now able to be compassionate to myself because I know it's not me trying to cause harm to people and is usually me desperately trying to avoid conflict and the feeling of rejection (which is comparible to grief when you have bpd).

[krisdiane]

I made the mistake of telling my first therapist that I thought that I had bpd.
I was going with my husband for couples counseling. She blamed everything on me (and my mother, ) recommended I see a psychiatrist to start meds, and come to weekly group therapy. I followed all of her advice but felt awful about myself the entire time. We finally stopped seeing her when she flat out said to my husband "that sounds like a nice interpretation from Krista, now what do you think?" after asking him about his interpretation of an encounter we had and getting HIS description.
I don't have bpd. I have cptsd and my husband is autistic. We're in a much better place now that we know what we're actually dealing with, but I wonder if she could have actually helped if I hadn't said those dreaded letters in the beginning.

[shaykynn]

I have borderline personality disorder, bipolar 2, major depression and socialized anxiety. All of my diagnoses have been pinpointed and proven to be true based off of the trauma and PTSD that I have from said trauma.

I tell people because I want them to know that sometimes shits harder for me to handle than normal people and if they can't handle MY reality then they need to not be in my life to begin with. It's already hard enough criticizing myself, I don't need anyone else to do it.

[jasminelalita]

I have BPD and I promise I am very self aware... Traumatised sure and working on my emotional regulation all the time to heal and grow. It's so hard for people to view us as monsters because we actually usually feel a huge sense of guilt and we hate upsetting people. I have so much I love to give and I kkow others with BPD who are the same we just need a little help sometimes regulate ourselves and be reminded we are loved and safe 💜🙏🏾💜🙏🏾

[astridfinley]

I recently went in for psychological testing with a person who evaluated me 11 years ago when i was in a very different place and he was supposed to be assessing me for ASD and instead diagnosed me with BPD based on that previous assessment (prior MH history) even though the signs were/are actually there and written in the report. i definitely felt insulted, because the entire evaluation felt dismissive over issues i actually do have. I definitely agree with everything you said, and sometimes i feel like even though i dont have BPD (because i know myself and i dont fit the criteria), it feels like my name has been marked forever and i dont know if i will ever get the diagnoses that actually fit me and my needs.

[KM-mwjp]

That’s my exact experience. I’ve never exhibited any symptoms of BPD. But my psychiatrist seemed mad at me or annoyed by me both of the two times I saw her, I must’ve grated on her somehow. One week after suffering a massive head injury (that’s left me disabled for 2 years and still going on) and days after my ESA and best friend dog died, she got frustrated during an appointment because I was being “too sarcastic” - all I said is “great” in a sarcastic tone because she asked how I was doing. Probably not the most helpful/mature thing to say but I had been crying daily and in the middle of a horrible concussion so I just thought it was funny more then anything. I was exhausted and emotional, so sure, I responded in an unhelpful way, but it wasn’t malicious or anything. She snapped and said it was BPD and that she’s “seen the signs for months” (this was only my second appointment with her) because my mood was erratic and “constantly changing.” Today I say I’m “great” (obviously sarcasm) but my therapist reported two days ago that I was doing horrible. Like, yeah that’s what it’s like grieving and suffering head injuries. One day all you can do is cry, the next day the tears won’t come and all you can do is deflect. That doesn’t mean you have a disorder, that means you’re grieving and struggling. I begged this woman to go over the diagnostic criteria with me, show me examples of this, explain how this could be, etc etc - I gave her the benefit of the doubt, obviously I was upset over this but I was receptive still. If I have something, I want to know and treat it, I wanted answers and support. And all she did was tell me to find a new doctor. I don’t know what I ever did to cause her to act that way, but I’ve been told by multiple providers since then that they have NO reason to suspect BPD in the least. But, that diagnosis still follows me and every doctor/therapist/etc automatically gives me the side eye for the first while. It made me scared to go back to therapy/psychiatry for a long while. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be for people who do have BPD. At least people look at my story and eventually say “oh that doctor was wrong” but for people who do have BPD, doctors never brush it off. They always keep that side eye, always assume that person must be lying, manipulating and so on, even if they’ve never been given a reason to think that aside from a stupid ICD code.

[iright]

I’ve dated a person with BPD, schizophrenia, anxiety, PTSD, and depression. She refused help for all of these. Her father instilled in her that getting help is weakness. I tried so many times to recommend therapists to her or for her to take meds for the schizophrenia. She refused as always. Which I get meds aren’t for everyone and I can’t force her it’s her choice. I didn’t want to her have an episode and end up hurting herself or someone else which is why I tried to push for it. After 2 years of dating she was very paranoid of my family trying to take me away from her. I tried to comfort her and tell her that they’re not trying to take me away from her and that I love her. After a a fews weeks after having that conversation she told me to choose her or my family. I apologized to her and told her my family will always come first. She has a lot of issues and I tried to fix her. When I did try and communicate she’d call me weak or to suck it up or get over it or what I was going through wasn’t half as bad as what she was going through. Reason why I stayed with her as long as I did was because I saw only the good in her and I didn’t want to see how manipulative she was being and even though she hit me I wanted to believe that it was my own fault. I know she has a good heart but it’s buried underneath years of trauma and mental health struggles. I want to know if I’m in the wrong for breaking things off with her