When You're Stuck In An Unhappy Marriage | Paul Friedman

What do you do if you're stuck in an unhappy marriage? Watch Paul gives you tips to make your marriage happy again.

Hopefully, I'm going to be able to give you some insight today that is going to give you guidance that is not just practical but helps you move towards a state of happiness because we get married in order to be happy. We don't get married to be stuck. We don't get married to suffer and your spouse also had the same attention. When you got married the height of your life, the wedding day, the party all of the thrills of being newly married and what happened.

Why should you be stuck in an unhappy marriage?

If you think about it it really doesn't make any sense until you start seeing what I see and here's what I see. The biggest problem is that people get married without realizing that it's just like anything else that you get that is new. If you buy a new house, you don't imagine that everything is going to just remain hunky-dory. You're going to have to trim the hedges, mow the lawn, wash the windows, sweep the floors -- you have to do things. You don't just get a house and move in and everything is cool and it's the same way with marriage but people don't think about it in those terms. They think, "Okay, we're married." They don't have a list of to-do's. They don't even have an idea that anything has to be done.

What happens just like that house or even if you get a car and you don't change the oil, things start deteriorating and then you go, "Oh my God. I'm stuck with this car that won't even start. I'm stuck with this house that is a shambles. it's filthy in here." No, you don't do that in a house because you're keeping it clean you know you have to but the biggest promised people get married and they don't realize that there's things they actually have to do. They have to maintain that marriage but more than that it's better than that if you're approaching it in the right way as marriage is something that begins when you get married and it's living and you got married to be happy.

Let's keep that in mind so what you should have been doing -- think of it as a plant, you
get a beautiful plant again. You don't not fertilize it. You don't feed it, you water it. You make sure it's getting the proper care and maintenance and what does it do. It grows and it bears fruit -- marriage too. You feed it with what, you feed it with. What makes you happy is love.

Why did you get married out of love?

To be happy but you didn't feed it. You didn't treat your spouse with the same level of respect for instance that when you were dating you did or with the support, the kind
words, the acknowledgments, the special treats -- you didn't do that so your marriage deteriorated.

Why am I talking about this in this way?

Because I want you to recognize that you're not stuck in a marriage that somehow you ended up in this is your marriage. Only two of you are in this marriage.

How could you possibly get stuck in something that only two of you are responsible for?

Watch the video for more.

-------

Join our mailing list and get our Top 10 Do's and Don'ts for Marriage:

Listen to our podcast:

Ask a TMF counselor about your situation, free:

12 Week Marriage System:

Paul's Books:

Follow Us:

All other information about TMF:

To Support TMF with Your Donation:

-------
#TheMarriageFoundation
#PaulFriedman
#marriageproblems #marriagecounseling #frustrated #anger #marriageissues #wifeandhusbandproblems

[TheMarriageFoundation]

Sincere and determined people also need truthful information and a good plan to escape the cycle and hole you are in. Incredible marriages ARE possible. They are achieved by
1. Learning about the mind and mastering it so your changes are permanent and you are always growing.
2. Learning how to behave, and not behave in marriage friendly ways
3. Making unconditional love and ever-expanding happiness your primary and constant missions.

[basiagoralczyk]

It is not always possible i am afraid. No point living a miserable life. Sometimes people marry in haste or young not knowing themselves and what kind of partner they would like.

[Strawman]

Patience is key. It can be a very long process to regain true love once again.

[jeffcauthen]

Can listen to him all day! Truths right here!

[kwadwoaddai-peprah]

Hello Paul, thanks so very much for sharing these wonderful insights with your God-given talent. God bless!!!👏👏👏🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[rodeheavers]

My wife and I have been married for 20 years. I am still in love with her but she is wanting to leave me. I believe she is only kinda staying for our 4 daughters. I’m going to try to fertilize my marriage like you are saying.

[morrison]

Thank you for sharing Us your wisdom in the aspect of a happy marriage. I will apply your teaching as I been struggling emotionally for almost 30 years. Because of love to my husband and of no one else I have stayed even if I have say I will leave him and say to him many times. I know that it is all my emotional baggage that make him unhappy mostly because of that I got the reaction of flight and feel I been neglect and abandoned and lonely most of the time. I been on the habit then to feel sorry for myself and always think that he is like my parents too has no interest on me or love me at all we just excess because I was born to them and to my husband part because we are already marriage so we should be together even it feel cold and distance. Listening to your video shed a lot of tears but that's how I react all my life God bless and more power to you and your teaching..

[davemustachio]

My wife has been very bitter not just at me but at our friends and family. She has been expressing her anger towards me about my faults. She also is pushing away her family and is very nasty towards her father. Her dad definitely had problems but has tried to make amends with her. I am trying to improve myself and fix the things that are making her unhappy about me. But she definitely needs counseling and refuses to admit she has is that way.

[rorhianskall]

You can do something, when there's at least an attempt of two way "conversation". Sadly, mostly problems I've seen during my life, including mine, is when it is just one way. And most cases you realize that that other half was there from the beginning just because "f it, why not" or out of pure need of something and not even necessarily financial.
And then you're "stuck", two kids, business, mortgage and so on....And you also realize that whatever "conversation" you might have and however you want to water it, the best it can be is 1 day, maybe 2 at most and again same sht...
Very destructive, very deteriorating....As I understand, very few solutions exists, and all of them well known. Sadly.

[brianabramsjr.]

Great video! There's a lot of truth behind the saying as we think so shall we become. We must stop letting negative thoughts, words, and actions infect our marriages and replace those things with the fruit of the spirit which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Gal 5:22)

[sallyho]

What happen you dont have love/feeling for your spouse b/c your spouse ignored you and emotional abused you? will you continue stay in the marriage?

[TheMarriageFoundation]

Sincere and determined people need truthful information and a good plan to escape the cycle and hole you are in. Incredible marriages ARE possible. They are achieved by:
1. Learning about the mind and mastering it so your changes are permanent and you are always growing.
2. Learning how to behave, and not behave in marriage friendly ways
3. Making unconditional love and ever-expanding happiness your primary and constant missions.

[mahalak]

I am married to a good guy but i am not happy.Its been 6years. I don't know what to do anymore

[aliradmard]

Jehovah bless you, and keep you: Jehovah make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you: Jehovah lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace.
We request that through our high priest; king of God's kingdom; Jesus christ. Amin

[Entertainwithrikki]

What are your thoughts on a marriage that has one spouse that is alcoholic

[rhondasternfels]

What happens if your husband gets so angry he occasionally gets physical with you and you get hurt. What do you do?

[magdalenamorin]

Why dose my husband tell me he loves me more than anything and treats me like a child

[ginajam]

This advice won't work if both people don't want to make it better. Otherwise your going to have one person pouring everything into the relationship while the other one just takes. Guess who ends up with a mental health crisis when their depleted?