Autistic Parenthood

Join me for a discussion on the challenges of being a parent on the spectrum (with or without autistic children), what we can do to make our lives easier, and general thoughts of the autistic parenthood experience.

[whitneymason]

My son is 4 and he is autistic support level 3. I'm just learning now that I'm autistic as well! I find the vocal stimming the hardest for me to tolerate for long periods of time. Before I found out I was autistic I kept thinking, "A good mother would be able to handle this." I know now I'm experiencing sensory overload and that's ok. I got myself a pair of noise canceling headphones and ear plugs and I feel like I have much more patience now because I'm taking better care of myself and allowing myself to use supports too.

[phoenixrichter]

I am so glad I found this video. I asked this question in a group about autistic parenting in the adult autistic community and people really didn’t respond. Either people don’t want them or like you say, we’re invisible. My child is close to a diagnosis of his own too... while I understand him I need to address my neurodivergent needs.

[VivekaAlaya]

My daughter is 6. She started to speak at 2 and didn't stop yet. Sometimes I outburst and tell her "please let me hear my own thoughts for a moment". I'm teaching her to meditate, so she learns to have quiet moments. I learned to ask her for some lone time, for me. And now she is understanding. She is great, is just the constant noise, indeed, that drive me crazy. And about poor executive function. Since she started going to school at 2.. I was always the 'late mom'.. We were always late, no matter how hard I tried. And sometimes I forget things to put in her backpack, and the school calls me "oh she needs that..". It's terrible. But I'm learning and improving strategies.
I loved to breasfeed, that was no problem at all. But latter, sometimes when she wants to call my attention, she pulls my little finger or grabs my arm and I have goosebumps and feel desperate to realease myself from her. The good think is that the older they get, we can explain the proper way to approach us.

[latifx]

My husband is autistic and he will swear that I am. I recently had a mental breakdown when my son was inconsolable with crying. I became highly agitated and angry and couldn't explain why I felt the way I did. The more I learn about autism, particularly in females, the more I start to realize he may be right.

[cypressmoore]

listing to this while attempting to homeschool my child. thanks for helping me focus lol.

[withyoctopus]

I recognize a lot you're talking about from my mother. I hated her from 12 to 21. Then we slowly grew back together and now I guess we have a good relationship to an extent. I still wish she wouldn't have had children.

[garyfrancis]

This is partly based on article by women for NAS about the lack of information for women and sex eduction (sex in general is rarely talk about with professionals). But their was no advice on conceiving pregnancy when your on the spectrum.

With autism when your planning for a baby is it easier to get into a routine of sex when your trying to get into cycle of conceiving a child?

[havaranel]

Have you considered making babysitting swaps? You watch a friends child so they can do something child free and they do the same for you another day of the week so you can self-care?

[ryliegiroux]

Clothes!! Omg I have garbage bags of clothes, everywhere! Some too small, some to grow into. This will be the death of me. Such a mental drain

[garyfrancis]

Hi Samdy

I'm pleased you knew what I meant about Theory of Mind.
I brought it up at the end of the live stream.

I first saw a video on autism and theory of mind. By Agony Autie.

Now I can see deficit of theory of mind in me in my childhood and early 20's.
But I feel my theory has improve or even up there with NT standards by talking to lots of people.

So to not turn completely in Prof Simon Baron Cohen.

By basically Agony Autie. That theory of mind. Is ability to read, though, emotions, opionon and believes of other people.
As a child like I did you can have deficit in TOM if your on the spectrum.

[zechariahtienter]

Hello Sam how are you it's me Zach the dinosaur man im autistic to I was diagnosed at age of 2

[mwaldrom]

not a parent, but think the executive functioning and/or limited energy levels