Why Foreign Men Struggle Dating In Japan

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[jakenbakeLIVE]

I definitely don't deserve to be the thumbnail on this video. I am no expert in this field haha. But thanks for having me Takashi!

[Specialist]

Rupa nailed it the first 5 minutes of the video, I dated a Japanese girl for about a year while living in Japan and she was looking at it as serious/having family type relationship as they tend to set things on a timeline, date for how many years, get married, do stuff together for about a year or so then start a family etc... If you're not serious they don't want to spend the time. Of course the whole foreigner can be three different things. One they're attracted to the fact that we're a bit more upfront as opposed to Japanese guys who are a bit more timid and shy. Two is they might see a foreigner as a one time, do something different in their life but ultimately marry a Japanese guy because they're not used to the language barrier/customs etc...Three... dare I say this, the ones learning English and/or live closer to places with a bit more foreigners (city, US bases etc..) want something different and want to live/get out of Japan scenario as that's all they've been to all their lives not to knowing that Japan life has been great for me IMO. A lot of girls in Japan have this agreement type mindset where if you tell them you like/love them then its really that. Whereas if you do this whole actions speak louder than words kind of deal, they take notice but they wont have a clue until you tell them. So my #1 advice is just be straight up to them and they will with you.

[LauraAdamsRodriguez]

That Australian guy's attitude was great, he even asked Takashi questions which I found really nice of him

[Vietnomeez]

You should definitely interview foreign Asian men about dating in Japan. I myself found it more difficult to date in Japan than in America because Japanese people's perception of me was that I looked Japanese or even Korean even though I am Vietnamese American. Other Asians such as my indian and Indonesian friends found some unique difficulties dating in Japan as well. Being Asian in a homogeneous society is quite difficult because many Japanese girls I meet would rather date someone who looks completely different than someone who look familiar to them even though the cultural and language differences are vast.

[takashiifromjapan]

Thank you so much for watching!!
Actually some of the interviewees are my real friends lol
It’s fun ti interview someone I know haha
Check their social media in the description!!

[Celtic-Texan]

Maybe it's a generational thing, but I came to Japan in the late 80's, and it was super easy dating. I took an immediate interest in the culture, learned enough of the language to navigate my days, and it worked. Granted I was in close proximity to folks used to being around gaijin since I was Air Force in Okinawa, but when I moved to mainland to Fukuoka it wasn't the case, not many gaijin were around at all, but still was incredibly easy to meet girls highly interested to go on dates. Anyway, met the love of my life in Fukuoka in 1993, and 30 years later, 27 years of marriage, and 3 kids, we're happy in Texas!

[cobalteclps]

I love watching these interviews because he so polite with all his questions and gets right into the heart of it

[JawsFan]

From personal experience, it's hard being able to tell exactly what Japanese women are thinking. I've had dates where things seemed to have gone very well that resulted in complete silence a day later with literally no explanation or reasoning. The language barrier is somewhat of a problem, but most women I've met were able to hold conversations well enough to get their thoughts across.

[RCKNbaby]

That was really interesting! As a Chinese woman from the USA with dating experience here and abroad, I get really turned off when men seem to only be interested because I'm Asian, like the concept of "Asian fetish" or "yellow fever" turns me off, and so when you interviewed that 3rd guy who said it's a weird turn off when women are only interested in him because he's foreign, that was really refreshing for me to hear! I shouldn't be surprised to hear this happens for men too, but it IS my first time ever hearing a guy say that, so that was cool. Thank you for your always interesting and insightful videos Takashii! <33

(Edited to add): I've clarified myself in this comment thread but it's now probably lost in the hundreds of comments so I'll add it here. I acknowledge that many people have preferences for looks and types, and people interested in different cultures might be curious and drawn to people of that culture. I totally understand and respect that. What I'm referring to in my original comment are those that are only interested in getting with/having sex with someone of a different culture, but not caring about their personalities, their interests, or their values. Rather they treat them as some item to be checked off their list, or to satisfy their own craving for someone "exotic." I've read the comments in this thread and many people have shared experiencing this kind of unwanted attention, and no one likes being treated like that.

[omardavila]

wow, your thumbnail really paid out!! Didnt expect JakeNBake to be featured in your videos. Good job dude!

[nickxplore]

How's nobody in the comment section mentioning how goddamn wholesome and chill that first Aussie guy is!? My dude's got a massively likeable personality!

[saintsataniko]

It's amazing: The half-Japanese guy from Brooklyn may as well be any Italian guy from Brooklyn, from the way he talks, to his outfit and his posture. He's still a New Yorkers through and through.

[xyphxer]

as an asian foreigner here in Japan, who looks like a Japanese or rather won't be able to tell me apart unless I speak, it is harder for us, compared to someone who looks totally foreign.
haven't seen any interviews on the opinions of people who looks japanese but is not and their experience

[Prismalpink]

Quick relationships really freak me out as well. It’s a problem in Korea as well, where people only date for good looks, and where girls compare each other. It’s frustrating.

[emmetmurray]

This is the best utube channel I've ever watched. The interviewer/presenter delves into so many aspects of Japanese life. I really enjoy watching these videos. I'm looking forward to watching more of them..

[TheTifier]

When my sister heard that Japanese women would take 1 month until they go out on a date, she immediately said that it was so they could do a whole bunch of preparations for the date (new clothes, make-up and hair appointments, skin treatments, etc.)

[danielviianovvieiradesousa]

The first guy that you interviewed was a really good choice. everything he said was interesting and he also asked you some questions back. great interview

[Manny-okfv]

Lmaooo at the white privilege question 😂😂😂

[mailman]

I’ve had some pretty interesting dating experiences here. Most day to day life outside of the major cities or foreigner friendly places are non eventful. People tend to not make a lot of eye contact, avoid your gaze or won’t approach you if they don’t know you. They are usually self-conscious about their English ability which prevents them from trying to strike up a convo. Plus, the whole “don’t bother” people vibe of the culture makes social interaction on the daily a little awkward to just start talking to strangers. Now, the night life especially in major cities or foreigner friendly places is a 180 from that. After a few beers things can get rowdy and people start to become chatter boxes, especially the younger generation.

My dating experience has been lots of confusion and even some racism by older parents who won’t let their daughter date or marry a foreigner. Japanese only they say and get mad at her if she asks to date a foreigner. We had to end that relationship out of respect for her relationship with her family. The other girls, even though they knew some English (elementary level or some junior high level) and wanted to learn with me, just got me hella confused and wouldn’t communicate. Had one girl break up with me only to tell me a month later that she thought we were still together. Those are wildly different goal posts there girl… sheesh. One girl thought we were a couple but she only spoke to me once or twice a month and we met for a date around once a month. Super weird.

Now, I am with a girl who is very fluent in English, while I am still learning Japanese and she is totally ok with moving to another country if that’s where life takes us. She and her family don’t care. If you want a serious and less stressful relationship, I would recommend finding someone who is high school level or higher in your language and has international travel experience. Not just someone who dreams of it and thinks all foreign men as out of a Disney movie. That was another weird experience I had…. some girls here have some odd fantasies about foreign men like the movies.

Overall, night life and daily life are totally different and cold approaches can be very culturally awkward outside of the evening/night scene if your Japanese level is too low to properly flirt without causing them stress thinking they will have to speak another language.

[akkamal]

About the Australian guy.

Congratulations, Takashi. You found yourself a new friend