INFJ Self Expression

Aug 7th, 6pm CET, 12pm EST, 9am PST

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#INFJ #MBTI #INTUITION

[cruiseny]

Omg. I think I've reached an epiphany. Our brains are made to prevent us from pain. Thanks.

[acidraindrops]

"You're not on this world to be liked, you're on this world to make a change." This is gold.

[Korudo]

Thanks for this video. The notion that we manipulate people to like us by not expressing ourselves is pretty eye-opening. Thanks for that perspective. I know I've been guilty of that.

[IntentionalityMentor]

 "People may not understand how.... We can just spontaneously put feelings out their and then back off and just move on" (I laughed and related to this line from experience) You hit the nail on the head with this video. As a INFJ nailing down my identity is something I've been battling with for some time. The fear of man, the people pleasing, the hate of criticism and perceived negative uncomfortable feedback may be a reality . However, it is no excuse for avoiding to dare greatly in  being true to yourself, putting all of yourself out their into the world with the short vapor of a period we call a life time. 

[ayazmomin]

Awesome awesome video. This is like poetry to me. Thank you, this video is full of wonderful reminders. "You're not on this world to be liked. You're on this world to make a change." -- just feels so invigorating to hear that, cause I've always known it to be true. An INFJ doubting this aspect of themselves, or second guessing it... don't. I've been down that road, and if life situations are difficult, that whole not wanting to cause others hurt becomes an even greater hurdle, and that cycle just... leads to self-decay. Thank you again. You accomplished your objective of this video to perfection. Well done.

[tomdavison]

First off Wenzes, I just want to say I really admire your poise and self assurance, secondly what you talk about in this video has literally been my biggest issue my entire life. What makes it difficult is this feeling that I don't really have a solid sense of self, especially coupled with the ability to be able to take a step back and psychoanalyze my 'self'' yet, there is clearly something within that is so acutely aware of feeling pain that it tries to protect and shield it's self in ways that are almost beyond my conscious control and it completely baffles me it's like a sense of doubting uneasiness that wants to cloister me up. For a long time, before I became aware of mbti, I thought this was due to some repressed childhood trauma although I remember having it as a child too. I've read books and done workshops that involved a lot of 'releasing' and even though I could bring up some stuff it almost felt like it wasn't mine if that makes any sense? I would look around and see everyone else's hot tear stained faces, looking so relieved and overjoyed as if they had literally been reborn whilst I, to be completely honest just felt a bit detached and cold towards it all, like geeze it doesn't really matter guys this isn't who you are ultimately, I wouldn't get too attached to it all, you'll of all forgotten about it by next Tuesday.
Maybe this is how my mind rationalises it's decision to avoid pain, although there is some value in that detachment as like you say, it allows to see a side of things that maybe others don't however, if you can't share that information whats the point?

I'm trying to break out of self-censorship by uploading daily vlogs, it feels like a great relief, until I realise that I'm actually up there and with every upload my 'safe' anonymity is gradually decreasing. On the one hand i feel relieved to have found something that really does help to explain so my much of my 'self' but my god have I poured some considerable amount of hours into researching it all just to make sure I feel validated in what I'm saying. So when someone comments, and says oh your not INFJ your x, y, z etc. It's like well thanks but I know, I know pretty damn well thank you and if I could show you the time I've spent figuring all this out, the countless late nights spent wading through streams of information and obsessing over every single possible angle, detail and saying that because my eyes looked at an angle of 32 degrees latitude or that I said a particular word that is so indicative or this other type or function, it's like what the actual fuck you actually think it's that easy to categorize (yes I know, I'm ranting now) another human being, their multi-faceted psyche and all the possible life experiences they have ever had from a couple of videos. Get the fuck outta here!
Now of course I don't say actually this, instead I think oh shit I best answer this comment and counter it otherwise people might think it's an admission of surrender on my part and therefore I could then be accused of misleading people. So off I go on my merry way to collect and gather relevant information to support my claim and protect an identity that to be honest, with all the energy involved in maintaining, sometimes just makes me want to delate all traces that lead back to it, say fuck you all, and go enjoy eternity in a sunflower all by myself : D

Of course I will eventually feel the need to come back in from the cold and buy another ticket to board the crazy train and the ride starts over. I guess this is the kind self torturing mental gymnastics that also leads an INFJ to doorslam, we know we could almost destroy 'that' person by shaking the very foundations of their own ego-structure to the ground but then who knows what might happen, and damn we don't want that on our conscience. However, we can't just do nothing because the longer we hold onto that poisonous emotional resentment the more it drains us, so we doorslam that person out of our lives. The irony is, which I'm starting to realise in myself, is that we can also doorslam ourselves out of life when we start to perceive this pain as being something not just absorbed from a particular person but from life it's self. So there we go people here's a living example of what Wenzes is talking about, at least I hope I am, fuck.

[wonderfulwinnie]

Thank you. This is hard, but I am learning.  Really glad that you made these videos. You changed how I see myself and how to tackle life.  (I used to think I am weird...)

[bvaughn]

I like how you got really passionate at the end haha. You are usually calm

[lindateuling]

As I mentioned in an earliet comment on a different video, I'm reviewing your previous videos and in the process, I'm also picking up on some that I missed. Very rewarding! And this one is no exception.

As I may have mentioned in a-previous response, I was raised where people paid lip service to "Don't worry what other people think" unless of course, it was the person I was with and then I'd have to walk on eggshells. Just last week I had a painful experience with a friend who "couldn't believe" that a certain matter would bother me. He even a accused me of having "Too much time on my hands." (I'd like to know where the time is- I have my art, two guitars, one bass guitar, a ukulele and a soprano recorder - so if he knows where all this time is, I'd like to know! ☺

I've found out that not only do I have to set boundaries, but I also have to accept shortcomings that I wish I didn't have. I wish that the particular issue with my friend didn't bother me. But it does. Maybe someday it won't, but until then I have to accept that boundary even if I wish I didn't have it.

Time will tell, but perhaps by even accepting boundaries in my life that I would rather not have, my accepting it anyway will make it easier to overcome. Or, maybe I'll find out that it's okay to have that boundary and that maybe I don't have to change after all.

[wildangel]

I so needed this. I've been forcing myself to do this lately.

[DAMION]

Excellent, informative and right on the money! I am so grateful that this wealth of knowledge is available to me, no nonsense. I love it! Thank-you!

[zaidhilfi]

Thanks for another informative clip, I find the skill of persuading, debating or conveying ideas to others face to face is more suited toward the ENTP, I think the positioning of Fe in the INFJ makes them wanting to be liked and genes not being able to confront others face to face specially on a daily basis for example, I believe where an INFJ comes natural is in lecturing, teaching, or like yourself through podcasting, YouTube Channel or through writing where the message is more often in one way direction without confrontation, INFJ solutions to society are more holistic

[KoyomiMojo]

lsd. I completely agree. I've done it and it has been the most important and special experience I've ever had.

[stuffofmexx]

Thank you again for yet another inspirational and empowering video.
I am truly terrified of being jugged. How can I be around someone who simply doesn't like me for reasons that make perfect sense to them. To put it simply, I just might be the most insecure person in the universe. That's what happens when your self worth is based on how you effect other people.

[kiritik]

Thank you for this wonderful video. The more i watch your videos the more i learn. Do you have any book recommendations for an INFJ person?

[brookeflood]

This video is exactly what I needed right now. You described the situation and issue perfectly and gave some really good advice I can definitely implement right away. Thank you!

[LindaengelustrupBlogspot]

(1:18) Hahaha!!!!  So I (INFP with ADHD) should daily see an ESTP Thank you, very interesting videoes.

[nBookMark]

I’ve never used any of those drugs and have no clue as to what kind of affect they give lol so I am totally clueless to what you were describing. I️ love your videos, I have learned so much about myself after learning about personality types and how I’m not weird or alone

[wildforest]

I actually disagree. When in those situations, I don't think it is because one is doing it because you want them to like you (i mean sure, I am sure there are people out there who do it because of this, but) for me is rather because of being afraid, and also, because of fear of conflict, which again leads to being afraid, you know, depending on which whom you are dealing with.

[AmeatSauce]

So basically we’re good at ruining people’s egos 😭