Why The Modern Man Won't Commit, and What You Can Do About It (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

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I post new dating advice for women every Sunday.

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In this week's episode of LOVELife, I take a question from Khalani on why, with modern day dating, most men are hesitant to jump into a relationship. We also discuss how she can be more trusting when meeting men who are looking for more than a casual fling. Enjoy!

Video links at the end -

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[allydea]

What I don't understand is why men and women consider marriage/relationships an obstacle in front of their travels, experiences - except sexual, or career? I've been married for 8 years and I see my husband as a "partner in crime" instead of someone that stops me..

[mclovin]

wow...he just convinced me to stay single lol

[Nisatu]

Measure them on their investment and not what you want them to be. Got it.

[joshh]

Loneliness can be dreadful.
Marriages can be dreadful.
However, in marriages you can also lose your entire life in court.

[EdzDayuha]

“Find the guy at the right stage of his life. How? Ask him the tough questions!” This is veryyyy helpful! Thank you Matthew 🔥

[Kurio]

I just want a relationship with peace. I don't want to come home to another job at the end of my long day.

[g.elle.c]

It's like what Miranda says in Sex and the City... lol. You find the guy when his light is on. 😏
"Charlotte is gushing about how she met this guy and how it is fate and all that...
Miranda: It’s not fate… His light is on. That’s all.
Charlotte: What light?
Miranda: Men are like cabs. When they're available, their light goes on. They wake up one day and they decide they're ready to settle down, have babies, whatever. And they turn their light on. The next woman they pick up, boom, that's the one they'll marry. It’s not fate, it’s dumb luck."

[joelgarcia]

I'm 37 and I've been married 16yrs and we've been together for 18yrs. And I'm still getting to know her till this day. Your mind changes as you age and that's a great thing. We have three beautiful girls and my wife and I talk about how the lack of commitment on both females and males in this day in age might affect our kids We are teaching our kids to be independent, but we also teach our girls to have respect for themselves and who ever they decide to be with.

[silverman]

I like my personal space, simple, I'll deal with you temporarily but in the end I return to my base with no outside pollution

[jetw]

I love how Matthew said: "You don't just trust people, you allow people to earn your trust." and
"measure them based on their investment, not based on what you want them to be." I wish I had seen this earlier, so I wouldn't have made these mistakes. Big lesson learned with a broken heart. Now I'm better, and these words became my golden rules. Thank you, Matthew!

[coldblooded]

You make such a good point about the difference between being with someone that you can share good news with, and just having a bunch of guys that don't even care about you. I swear it's so frustrating to have a phone full of people, but nobody actually gives a s*** about me.

[Marcara]

Look into marriage 'law' and you've got your answer. You marry the state. You don't marry your partner. Fix it.

[thesilentambience]

A maturity thing? Damn your off. The more mature I get the more I realize how risky it is for a man to marry or have children.

If women want men to commit, stand up for men and change the racket that is family court.

[jimboa]

Men aren't afraid of commitment. We're afraid of being financially and emotionally disemboweled in divorce court. We've seen it happen to our dads and friends...we refuse to let it happen to us.

[stuflikethis]

Technically women initiate 70% - 80% of divorces. I hear women talk a lot about getting married but I never hear them talking about becoming a wife.

[SackFulloApplez]

The same girl you marry isn't the same girl you divorce.

[susgra]

Problem is, most people never achieve all their goals. The media teaches us to aspire to lifestyles of the rich & famous. How many of us ever actually get there? Finally, around age 50 it seems, men just want a companion, kids, etc. and settle down. But they want a 26-yr old. It's a crazy, messed up world right now.

[cyber]

Actually its because men have woken up. We live in a progressive society where women happily cherry pick patriarchy. Guys are still expected to make all the first moves, put way more time, money and effort into the relationship, to build to a...marriage...where things get worse for him. Less independence, lower quality sex life, and even more financial obligations and entitlements to her. And then guys look at the divorce stats.
Since no fault divorce: 70% of all divorces are called for by the wife. 70% of that 70% the women file for "marriage disatisfaction". Know what that is? She got bored. You know all the cliche excuses women use to end a relationship, that are entirely self centered. Yeah well this relationship ending comes with a huge pay day. 97% of alimony goes to the ex wife. 95% of child support. Oh oh and for an equal society 95% of the time the women win the majority or sole custody battle for the kids.
Studies have shown women are more likely to cheat and or have a back up plan person in their fold of friends too.
Studies have show less women cook, or know how and more guys are picking up that responsibility too...odd...studies arent showing women increasing in mowing lawns or fixing the roof. So more responsibility is constantly shifted from women to men, while the legal right and financial entitlement go from men to women.
Yeah, if that sounds fucked up its because it is.
So men are looking at all of this and wondering why the fuck they should sign that death contract, or give up so much of their life to a gender that is only increasing in its hypergamus nature and a legal system that punishes men for entering into a marriage.

[martynobs]

This guy is filling women's minds with "feel good" bullshit that they want to hear

[jamesjoseph]

I've had women ask me what my life is missing, and I've told them my life is great. This is a dealbreaker for them. It's almost like they don't want a man who is happy in life. They want a man who's lost and needs a map (the woman), a man who's stupid and needs a teacher (the woman), a man who's broken and needs a repairman (the woman). I have zero interest in a relationship where I'm incomplete without the other person. I want a relationship where I'm simply a better version of myself with this woman. If you are pursuing someone who can't make it through tomorrow without you then both of you have issues.