Why children don’t tell about abuse - Parents Protect learning module 10

It’s rare for anyone other than the abuser and the victim to actually witness abuse taking place; and a child may never come forward and tell you, or anyone else, about it.

There are many reasons why children don’t talk about what is happening to them.

Research suggests that 3 out of 4 child victims didn’t tell anyone about the abuse at the time it happened because of embarrassment or humiliation, or thinking that they wouldn’t be believed.

Sometimes a child is so young or afraid that they don’t know or can’t find the words to explain what is happening to them. And sometimes they are so confused by the abuser, that they might not know that what is happening is wrong.

Abusers have many ways of ensuring a child’s silence. Some will play on their fear, embarrassment and guilt; and can even make the child think that they’ve done something wrong

For example, by introducing a child to alcohol, drugs or pornography, the abuser knows the child will be more reluctant to tell, for fear of getting into trouble.

Sometimes abusers believe they truly care for and even love their victims – whether the abuse happens inside or outside the family. They give the child lots of attention that makes them feel special. So, in many cases, the victim may love the abuser – especially if this is a family member– and might not want to lose contact with them by disclosing.

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