ADHD as equal partners in relationships

We want people with ADHD to feel like equal partners in their relationships where they're showing up authentically by leveling the playing field.

#adhdrelationships #adhdawareness

[SeasonalFrostbite]

I love this. I have ADHD. I’m not a child. I manage to do chores, remember birthdays, stay focused on my partner during hard conversations and more. When I was dating someone with adhd I felt like the parent and it was hard to take care of myself and someone who uses it as an excuse not manage their symptoms so they can adult. Support for me is when my partner noticed im frantic- more frantic than usual. When they caught it I explained how I was with struggling with short term memory and he listened. He didn’t have to suggest things to me, he explained things I already knew about myself and he supported to do something different to help what I was having trouble with.

[lehablkwd]

I appreciate that you say those with ADHD can hold themselves to a high standard. As a partner to someone with ADHD, all the information online suggests the ways the I can do more to support them...um, that's already the problem!

[kathryndamron]

As a partner of someone with ADHD I wish this were on a loop. I’ve watched my husband come up with all kinds of strategies that don’t require my supervision for 25 years. It can be done. It sure takes the romance out of a marriage if one partner needs to be treated as a child. It doesn’t have to be that way. I 💯support this advice. It’s been successful for us.

[longstoryshorts]

Thank you for this video. I gave learned a lot about ADHD since I am with my bf who has it. I manage to understand him better now. A lot of things are better now in our relationship since then. However I cant help myself feeleing resentful. I feel like I out some much energy into being understanding and supportive, but it seems to me that he doesnt put any energy or not even appreciate it. I suppose it is not true and he is indeed trying, but somehow I dont feel it. Then, of course I feel guilty for being upset with him in my head.

[mawdouglas]

I’ll say it, she’s absolutely gorgeous.

[MeredithDomzalski]

I don't think support necessarily has to look like over functioning, though it can sometimes turn into that. Sometimes it's communication.

Finding out what the barriers are and working on solutions can be helpful. For instance, if it's the ADHD partner's night to cook dinner, dishes in the sink might be a barrier. A solution could be something like the NT partner making sure the dishes are finished first or having a bin in the sink that can easily be removed to provide access.

That's probably not the ideal example bc I think I heard it from someone where both of them were actually ND, and the other ND partner was leaving the dishes, but I'm sure there are other examples where communication and working out the barriers together can help.

[JustinThorntonArt]

I’m sorry to rain on your parade It’s not about learning skills. People with ADHD know how to do things. It actually doing them that is the problem. We go through life like a paraplegic without a wheelchair and everyone just tells us to learn to walk and try harder. Billions of dollars are spent every year making the world more accessible to those with physical disabilities. But if any needs for those with ADHD are at all inconvenient or cost money society just looks the other way. I have a friend that has gotten hundreds of thousands of dollars to make his home more accessible so he can get around in a wheelchair but god forbid insurance companies or government agencies paying for an adhd coach or a personal assistant for a few hours a week. Frankly a personal assistant is what ADHD people really need.

[Jaisha]

Do you offer online help? Counseling via webcam?

[GlenHaner]

Is it more difficult for women to deal with an ADHD partner than it is for men?

[premonitionchica]

I need help. But i don't have the funds to get help

[Jazzy]

Realizing my husband my have adhd and I’ve been playing his mother role for way too long, seeking help

[katherineberger]

So I actually want to hear your answer to this, what is the difference between the approach you’re taking and the obviously BS “You have SO MUCH POTENTIAL, you’re just so lazy that you never TRY” framing we’ve all been shamed and blamed with since we were kids?