3 Reasons Why Binge Eating Isn't Your Fault!

3 REASONS WHY BINGE EATING ISN'T YOUR FAULT!
#bingeeating #bingeeatingrecovery #selfcompassion

Disclaimer: This video is for information purposes only and my content should not be used as a substitute for seeking treatment from a healthcare provider. My content is not going to be suitable for everyone, so please use your self discernment before applying any video content in your own life.

Welcome to The Binge Eating Therapist channel! I'm Sarah, a former binge eater turned psychotherapist, and in today's video, I want to tackle a topic that's close to my heart: why binge eating isn't your fault. So many people blame themselves and carry unnecessary shame, and I'm here to provide you with three compelling reasons why it's time to let go of that self-blame.

Reason 1: It's a Primal Struggle
Binge eating isn't just a matter of willpower or conscious choice. We're not always the rational beings we think we are. This behavior often stems from the primal, deep-seated appetite system in our lower brain, which can become dysregulated. When this happens, thoughts of food become incessant, control is elusive, and satisfaction seems out of reach. It can feel like you're not even in control of your actions, and that's because your lower brain has taken the reins. Recovery isn't about dominating it but learning to calm it, and self-compassion can be a powerful tool.

Reason 2: Societal Influence
If dieting, restriction, or attempts to control food triggered your binge eating, it's crucial to understand that it's not your fault. Society often sends messages that these actions are not only normal but necessary. However, for some, they can backfire and lead to binge eating. You didn't bring this problem upon yourself; you were reacting to societal conditioning.

Reason 3: Coping Mechanism
Using food as a coping mechanism doesn't make you weak or a failure. We all learn how to cope from our caregivers, and if you struggle with emotions, consider how your caregivers modeled coping mechanisms for you. Understanding this can help you stop blaming yourself and start on the path to recovery.

In conclusion, binge eating is not your fault, but it will be your job to heal. There might be a mess to clean up, but with the right guidance and support, you can regain balance in your life.

[Helen-nvel]

I'm 82, the daughter of an abusive alcoholic mother and still struggle with binge eating, which leaves me feeling ashamed and hopeless. The only time I feel "safe" is when I'm full of carby food.
Thank you for this.. I feel a bit less ashamed. 🙏😇

[rileybnonly]

Binge eating is something I have struggled with my whole life and of all the help I’ve tried to find for myself over the years I don’t think one person has ever said “have compassion for yourself” I think that’s a big piece of the puzzle I’ve been missing and I want to thank you for bringing it to me.

[cce]

I wake up every morning thinking that I am going to have a good eating as the day goes on I lose control. Thank you for this. It's helpful to know that it is not because I'm crazy, as I have been told. I am the product of an alcoholic mom and high anxiety dad. I wonder if, even though I am an adult, I have been using food to control my feelings

[hederahelix]

I am sitting here bawling. It is so good to hear someone say this. Also, the description of the primal brain taking over makes so much sense. I do feel like someone else is in control when I am binging but I also blame myself for it afterwards. I am now going to scour your channel looking for what to do about it. THANK YOU!

[Emilysworldisbeautiful]

i wanted to share a small exprience.
when i turned 10 we moved and it did numbers on me. Leaving my room, my play ground, friends and cousins. to go live far far away where i was bullied by studnets and 2 women who worked in school offices lol ( i told my parents but they didn't do anything or were too busy so i hated them so much for it)
i just remember being so lonely, so alone and feelings abandoned, i remember walking back home in hot day in May and my feet were hurting so bad. My dad was a workholic and (physically there and thats it) and mom was too busy and had her own prob.
In all this mess, i found solace in food. i felt so empty and food filled that up. Then, i had many food poisoning, i even went to the hospital once cause my stomach was hurting so bad that i couldn't walk.
so yeah thats how it started

[Essentialoilsujess-weagle]

My mom has an ED and her ED was forced on everyone in the house. Binge eating was how I coped with lack on nutrition growing up. I never dieted was always thin and active. But I still kept binge eating multiple times a week. And just beat myself up exercising. Now I’m in my mid 40’s and it’s catching up with me. All my bloodwork is heading in the wrong direction.

I didn’t realize how much of a problem I had till I stopped. My brain/stomach were screaming at me for about 4 years. I’ve been in 12 step program for a few years now. I used the tools I learned there to take it 1 moment at a time.

Now I eat 3 balanced meals a day. No more crazy roller coaster hunger cues. And my decades of GI issues are pretty much gone.

[marthahenrich]

I commented on another video I came across here. I am new to your channel. Maybe it was meant to be as I am dieting and struggling with wanting to binge eat. I’m 71 and I guess you could say I’m a career dieter. I live alone, no friends, little family. My reason for living is my 19 year old granddaughter. I had lost a little weight before the pandemic and then I started binge eating. Every day. Only 3 things make me happy. My granddaughter, food and I do mixed media art. I have a semi-estranged relationship with my daughter. She mentally abused me and stole a lot of money from me after my husband died 11 years ago. It was very traumatizing. I love sweets and I started a diet 6 months ago and it was hard because it felt like a personal loss. My beloved sweets. I’ve done well losing the weight but that B word starts to come into play as I get closer to my goal. I can diet so perfectly, not touch one bad food but when I get to my weight loss goal I want to binge. I don’t want to but I want to. It’s an every day battle in my head. I tell myself I won’t binge and then I tell myself go ahead, get it out of your system. I have dealt with depression for years, no medications helped. I live with it every day. I intend to watch more of your videos. I am very hard on myself and I always blame myself for everything. I am feeling some hope and knowing it’s not my fault, well I have to let that sink in. Thank you for these videos.

[MarjolaineDaudrumez]

When I am full I feel I will have control next time but then, I get hungry and cannot seem to mind anymore. I just want to eat sugar no matter what…I feel so powerless…

[ChenCat-sutw]

My therapist taught me how to find my imaginary mum (and later my imaginary dad also) that showed me how to act compassionately towards myself. It was the first time I told myself it wasn't my fault.

[idunnainnit]

Literally no therapist addresses the actual foundational issues underlying my BED as you do.

[SamThompson]

Omg I’m in tears, She is describing my life 😢

[Od.]

This is really the most important message for me. I listen to this when I am blaming myself again.

[dorothymarrero]

Thank you, Sarah! I think is the first time anyone has told me it’s not “my” fault and I am going to let it sink in. I have been practicing self compassion (“this is a moment of suffering”) and releasing shame so it’s a very timely and powerful message for me. As usual!

[skyepalmer]

Thanks, i needed to hear this today as a reminder. Also Ladies, its not your fault the week before or during your period.

[adamantix]

I know it's not my fault, that binging is a result of a complex trauma, even though it may not seem like that. I just cannot seem to figure it out how to sort it. I'm a full grown adult and I still find comfort in food, just like a baby.

[sile]

You explained reason #1 so perfectly. I have such dysfunctional relationship with food.

[waywrdsun]

This video is gold, Sarah. Your explanation of how we get to using food to cope is very helpful. I also appreciate the burglary metaphor about "it's not your fault, but it will be your job to sort out the aftermath". Now I need to work on finding some ways to soothe my limbic system both as a regular practice and in the moment of high activation. Thanks for this post!

[Sarah-with-an-H]

For me I’ve begun to recognize that because nylon by is/was a way to self medicate. Making the choice to live as authentic as possible is changing things. Living in authenticity has helped me become more mindful and to be more capable of sitting with my feelings and to understand them. It’s opening so many doors

[muznahimran]

Thank you so much for this...many many times i've cried because i always binge eat despite telling myself every morning not to

[fritzan]

Thank you Sarah, that was really soothing to hear❤